I'm not sure about everyone else, but I love Pakistan. The lifestyle in Pakistan is so much more relaxed than the busy 9am-5pm we experience here in the UK. I would definitely move to Pakistan if I had the money and security over there.
On the contrary, although I do consider Pakistan as 'home', I would find it extremely difficult to leave behind everything I have ever known, so for a loooong holiday to Pakistan, it's a yes. But in practicallity, living there for the rest of my life is not something I could realistically imagine doing. There's just too much difference.
Idk about anyone else, but for myself, being born and bred in the West has torn me between the West and East - maybe I'll never find where I actually fit in. Maybe Nadz feels the same way.
lifestyle more relaxed in pakistan than the busy 9-5 you experience in uk? i hear its mostly the same now. i have loads of fam members in pak. they all seem to be working western hours for some reason!!!!
my cousin works in a bank in pindi from 9-5pm. her husband also works in same bank but works longer hours. she's always complaining about her hours. :)
my other cousin works at hsbc in karachi 9-8pm.
my uncles work crazy hours eg 20 hours daily in the armed forces as army officers.
This is basically all materialistic, black and white, either this or that bull, lets be honest. I know people who come from South Asian to UK, though they have all the financial security and and social freedom yet this place still seem like hell because they miss their old lifestyle and presence of their loved ones. Similarly there are people who go back to Pakistan after living their entire lives in UK and don't feel like coming back because of the family fun and love they get in Pakistan. I believe happiness is achieved by people you are surrounded by not from materialistic gains - the charm certainly dies out after a while.
My dad moved us all back to pakistan and although it was fantastic being surrounded by our khandan, that fact he struggled to practice as a doctor there in a corrupt system forced us to move back. There is alot more to it.
My dad moved us all back to pakistan and although it was fantastic being surrounded by our khandan, that fact he struggled to practice as a doctor there in a uncorrupt system forced us to move back. There is alot more to it.
Okay I thought saying that basic necessities of life has to be met in order to be satisfied, goes without saying.
Those who can't find a job in UK and are becoming the victim of tightening welfare system in UK will share your sentiments too.
lifestyle more relaxed in pakistan than the busy 9-5 you experience in uk? i hear its mostly the same now. i have loads of fam members in pak. they all seem to be working western hours for some reason!!!!
my cousin works in a bank in pindi from 9-5pm. her husband also works in same bank but works longer hours. she's always complaining about her hours. :)
my other cousin works at hsbc in karachi 9-8pm.
my uncles work crazy hours eg 20 hours daily in the armed forces as army officers.
Oh, interesting. I don't have family back home, just very very distant relatives. So thanks for the insight.
Ok since the thread is now opened in my name (no Hareem I have no problems with it :D) it's fair to give my opinion too.
First of all I wasn't prefering one lifestyle or the other. I just don't like the fact that people generalize and relate it to a place,city, country. Pakistan is already a case of 'give the dog a bad name and hang him' so it's actually sad that Pakistanis living abroad should also say things like it's so hard living there and it's just hell .
Everybody has different circumstances. So any place in the world could be horrible to one person and paradise for the next depending upon their lifestyle, income, facilities (on the material side)and family, friends on the other.
I'd in my next two posts give opinion about both lifestyles i.e Western as well as in Pakistan later IA :)
Everybody has different circumstances. So any place in the world could be horrible to one person and paradise for the next depending upon their lifestyle, income, facilities (on the material side)and family, friends on the other.
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exactly. So I don't get why there's such a huge controversy over it, why people from Pakistan get soooooo offended if someone born/raised/brought up in another country doesn't want to live in Pak (or doesn't want to marry a guy from Pak--but that's going OT).
it's a fair assumption to make that most people would prefer to live in the country they were born/raised in and there's nothing wrong with that.... In fact, if someone born/raised in US tells me that they prefer to live in Pak vs here....I wouldn't get offended at it because they have THEIR reasons for wanting to live in another country...I have my reasons for not wanting to live in Pakistan, canada, middle east etc.
A personal example--when I got married I had my own reasons for not wanting to move to my husband's country, even though I knew it wasn't/isn't a bad place by any means....but I had my reasons...and yet people still got offended that I didn't want to live there for what were my personal reasons. This defensive attitude doesn't make sense to me....at all.
Even though it's just been a couple of months since I moved here I did manage to notice quite a contradictory way of living of various desi people as I attended one or two weddings here plus also have distant family :)
Here are a few things I noticed:
If your parents were the ones who actually went through the moving part and you are the next generation - you are obviously happy and well settled since you didn't see the struggle when they had to live in one bedroom apartment with shared toilets and do jobs like working in an internet cafe, in a restaurant or driving taxis.
Some women I met, barely went out of their homes, their kids made fun of their English .. there entire day was spent cooking in the kitchen or working and cleaning. Honestly I met 3 such families. Those women looked almost around 50 yet were a decade or so younger. For ,them their routine was cleaning, washing, cooking taking a bus to the local ASDA grocery shopping, taking kids from school and the day is over ..
Now coming to the well settled families .. MashaAllah their lifestyle is really good, their kids are studying in top universities and working so they are never found at home . And only the grandparents are sitting at home and mostly they reminisce the time in Pakistan - yet they keep justifying that life here is much better. And their third generation can barely speak a word of Urdu and call themselves Indians or Asians.
Ok am not making this up, it's absolutely true. My hubby's friend had employed a Pakistani cook for like a mint of money obviously (they both are consultants dnd earn quite well) and we went there for dinner. The guy apparently took quite long so my hubby's friend remarked 'he's such a lazy a** ...doesnt know anything ...typical jahil desi jerk..' he wasn't loud at all but somehow the guy heard it .. his wife went to the kitchen to see what the delay was the cook had left an he had written a whole page of resignation in English saying he can sleep hungry for days rather than have his self esteem battered as he had done his Masters in electronics but was stuck here without any job or any money and so on !
Now the good things: security (till the London riots too I sadly thought people here have such good values), freedom of movement, no loadshedding , great medical services, great shopping experience, beautiful scenery parks etc, public transport is like so efficient
So if your family has been settled here since ages and you are mashaAllah well settled, life is quite good (it still is a bit lonely though) and the opportunities for education are like SO good here !
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2. Some women I met, barely went out of their homes, their kids made fun of their English .. there entire day was spent cooking in the kitchen or working and cleaning. Honestly I met 3 such families. Those women looked almost around 50 yet were a decade or so younger. For ,them their routine was cleaning, washing, cooking taking a bus to the local ASDA grocery shopping, taking kids from school and the day is over ..**
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that's sad BUT I've seen the same in Pakistan too....the entire day is spent cooking and cleaning and working, yes htey may have a masi come in to do the floors but that's it...they have to tend to the inlaws as well and taking care of the kids.
so....like jolie nad others have said....it really depends on the social circle, the people you're around. IF I could have the exact same life that I have here in Pakistan...I probably would move but that exact same life would be impossible for me to recreate there.
that's sad BUT I've seen the same in Pakistan too....the entire day is spent cooking and cleaning and working, yes htey may have a masi come in to do the floors but that's it...they have to tend to the inlaws as well and taking care of the kids.
so....like jolie nad others have said....it really depends on the social circle, the people you're around. IF I could have the exact same life that I have here in Pakistan...I probably would move but that exact same life would be impossible for me to recreate there.
I completely agree with you Sara. :) I just am a little busy at the moment so I'd be posting about the Pakistani lifestyle soon too!
(all black and white - we have a lot of bad things there which no Pakistani should be proud of :))
I just resent the generalizations I have seen here on GS from time to time and the resentment for FOBs, Pakistani girls talked as dumb princesses always wanting to be waited on hand and foot and lot more.
I guess this is what makes people living back there offended on tiny things. But haven't you notice somehow pakistan is always targeted in one way or the other - which has decreased the sensitivity threshold of various Pakistanis (am not condoning that behavior either.)
I have cousins in pakistan who have servents to serve them, driver to take them out, they have their tea/coffee at 'four seasons hotel', go to private universities, wear designer clothes.
I also have cousins who are not able to have 3 times meal.
I am not in pakistan, struggling financially. and i grew up in middle class in small town. I prefer life that i am living now. Hubby offers me same five star life that my cousins in lahore live.
I can never live their life. I am struggling yet satisifed. i also find my cousins who are poor more satisified than those rich.
I know end of the day my hubby comes home and he is there just for me any my baby. we plan and do things as we want. in pakistan too much khandan and their involvements. in pakistan i never see the concept of giving time to family or kids.
my hubby is FOB; yet he moulded himself so quickly that now he has 2 higher qualifications from aus and still going and doing great.
***1. If you are living in Lahore, Islamabad or Karachi (and a few other cities).. then life in short is quite easy. Anywhere else you are more likely to be raised in a more orthodox manner.
Life is FAR from lonely there. The ‘ronak shonak’ and the fact that you almost know everybody. Neighbours can occasionally be gossipy and snoopy but they are mostly the ones who come running to help you, send you anything nice they make at home or would always be there to talk to. (My hubby said that in his 7 years of living in the UK alone ..he HATED his weekends …said to me ‘at times it would get so lonely that I would just go stand outside my apartment hoping to catch someone just to say hello ..or I would just chat with the delivery guy dropping my pizza’ ) Now in Pakistan you would never find time to talk to the Pizza Hut or KFC delivery guy and esp being a girl you so CANT do that.
:halo:
The religious festivals like Eids etc and our national occasions are some of the best times one witnesses - not to mention the weddings. Shopping in pakistan ranges from the 4.5 lac designer lehngas to extremely cheap Rs. 7-10k lehngas for the people who can’t afford much (Ichhra market in lahore is an example)
If you have UPS or a generator then your summers are bearable. Otherwise the loadshedding can drive you nuts
Ladies of the house usually have manual help with their safai wali, cook , servant and maids. (Even less than average middle class people can afford a maid too)
Excellent schools and education in the form of various private chains operating in alot of cities of Pakistan. For the people who don’t have that much money there are alot of private schools which have a reasonable fee. If you don’t have money then your child’s future is bleak esp when it comes to the Govt schools.
Govt. Hospitals are dirty, overcrowded and with at times a *very *rude staff but still almost EVERYBODY does get treatment there or attention . For the prestigious ones we have some exclusive private hospitals suited for their pockets only
The houses would be only of 10 marlas or even less but the porch of major homes would be flaunting a new 1300Cc-1800cc chamakti car on lease
If you live in the posh areas of these cities women can drive, hang out, go to the cinemas and have fun just like all guys do. But this is only the 5% of the population. The middle class women can work, drive and shop easily everywhere at least in the bigger cities. Esp if you are well clad in a duappata or so people wouldnt stare at you. We do have the annoying dheet species everywhere though. And if your car breaks down or you have a punctured tyre you should know that you would get help within minutes
Insecurity, suicide bombing etc are the evils however an average Pakistani can’t do anything about !
And lastly the class difference and the struggle to become ‘liberal and modern’ is somewhat warping our culture and values. But still ppl do fast, pray go to the mosque and give charity. Yes there are a lot of good people Alhamdullilah.
And above it all if you have a loving family where you all get together and have great times then whether you are living in Datthe khoo or anywhere in the world …it is all worth it
Pakistanis are good at doing little things that make them happy. No matter how bad the halaat are little things like winning a cricket match can make them happy. I don’t know if ppl saw this ..but here’s something fun these ppl did on the eve of Independence day in Karachi Girls guys kids elders all together now we can’t have that here can you ?
specialisation and FRCS obviously..but he plans to move back InshaAllah eventually. depends all on my perhai/career now.
Well that kinds of puts a dent in your opinion of education in Pakistan.
By the way.. I personally have never seen a good doctor go back after specialisation. My childhood was filled with young doctors coming over from Pakistan and staying with us until they found their feet (we were like a half way house for students). None of them ever went back. The ones that do, seem to have done it for the money they can get with US/UK letters after their names.
) Now in Pakistan you would never find time to talk to the Pizza Hut or KFC delivery guy and esp being a girl you so CANT do that.
now we can’t have that here can you ?
