I don’t know why I am writing this…but I am trying to find out why do the pakistani guys living in Pakistan think if a female exchanges some words with them that she is automatically interested in a relationship or marriage with them and they become so possessive and God knows what
On the otherhand european guys or pakistani guys living abroad are more mature about such things and do keep distance…never had such problems with them.
And no don’t shoot at me if you feel offened…its better to talk over and clear such things.
Hehehe I used to work with guys from Pakistan.. I used to call asking to speak to my partner and the employees would go all doo lalli and an email or two later - I’d get a proposal
I have noticed that the opposite is also quite true. In India if guy is friendly with desi girl then she starts believing that he really has a romantic interest in her.
In others words, in DESI-stan, for boys and girls, there is no such thing as platonic relationships with the opposite sex.
Tanhaa thats what I am talking about but I can only note from a girls point of view...good that u showed the other side... But isn't this a pity...aren't we all(they) missing out on something special like friendship between different genders!
I think dealing with women is an art itself, although less complex than what's actually taking place inside a woman's head when you talking to her, since you have to only worry about your own end. Most of the time, it's not hard to tell if a girl is interested in you, and how you deal from that particular point really differs from individual to individual. One thing a man should try to prevent is to get hung-up on one person as soon as you can feel that the chemistry is just not there. Therefore, finding that 'node' becomes crucial from the very beginning and being able to get a sense of it. The key is not to let the other person know what you are thinking of her....and just keep your 'coolness' .
I really think the issue comes down to an individual himself. I have came across guys living in Pakistan who were ardent sexists, yet they always went out with the most number of girls. But, yeah I think sometimes it seems to be the case, and perhaps has a lot to with the culture itself.
[This message has been edited by Abdullah k (edited May 08, 2002).]
I have experienced the possessiveness with desis in the West. I think one really has to be careful in the choice of words/interaction. Sometimes lines are crossed between friendliness and flirtation, which can result in mixed signals. Some people dont know there is a line. Just depends on the person. There are ways to make it clear you are not interested. They arent always pleasant. smile
I’m guilty of having sent mixed signals in the past, and maybe I do it even now, though I certainly hope not. smile
Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another
I think I should print it and distribute them there…talking about the culture part, if the upbringing of two people in two entirly different environments lets say west and east..these actually marry what is the success rate of such a marriage?
This reminds me of my final year in college when we had an unsually large number of students from Pakistan and India and love was literally in the air. There were at least twenty five student in my hall only and they were all 'falling in and out of love' left and right.
Anyways, as you yourself pointed out, desis who have spent some time abroad don't show these traits, so we can say that segregation of sexes in Pakistan (and to some extent in India as well) is responsible for this behavior. Back home you can easily find men who are in their late twenties and have never talked to a girl outside their family alone. Living in such conditions definitely makes you look for 'potential relationships' everywhere. Anytime they get a 'not so negative' response from a girl, it's considered a golden chance to start a relationship, as they say in Lahore 'Hans Gai tey phas gai' :-D
They are not sick, they just haven't had enough exposure, so be nice to them :)
Interesting thread and some extremely accurate observations. Good example of getting your cutural signals confused.
This type of mentality means, that when desis go abroad and start chatting and having fun with non -desis (or ABCDs) who don't understand the signals, they start labelling them as "loose" - as in "Look at that loose girl, she says hello to me every morning with such a nice smile, (or she went to the movies with me last night) but she's a hypocrite... she isn't interested in marrying me"
dont meausre everyone with the same yard stick dood..besides yu don want everyone to be like europeans or amreekans. If yu feel like yu can talk to girls and stay decent..good for you. Guys from pakistan come from a different background and all.
different ppl, different perspectives..dont generealise.
ok please answer my question guy guppies
if a girl treats you like shes mad at you and if you like her and wont back off what is she s'posed to do to make u back off?
and another thing, why do guys have to tease so much?? whats the point behind picking on girls?
kinda confused here
plz help
[quote]
Originally posted by Xara:
**ok please answer my question guy guppies
plz help**
[/quote]
1.if a girl treats you like shes mad at you and if you like her and wont back off what is she s'posed to do to make u back off?
Well mylady all you have to do is be honest and have a logical conversation with him and tell the dude that he is no longer needed most sane men take the point..
and another thing, why do guys have to tease so much?? whats the point behind picking on girls?
i have never "teased" a girl of any age at any time at all. for most of my mates i can say that this is just nonseriousness and the kind of attitude we treat each other with..take no offence most of them dont mean any harm, those of us who do deserve a kick on other end...
BTW tendency to be center of attention among men urges them to pick on girls mostly,, there is no honor in this......
My strength is the strength of ten because my heart is pure...
I wouldn't stop talking to a girl(s) just because she might think I am interested in her (or others might think I am). Because in my heart I am not being dishonest and they can think whatever they so wish. I appreciate when someone behave the same way in return, i.e: don't put words in my mouth!
But I also understand that girls can't take that chance all the time, as me being 6' tall 180 pounds don't have to worry about someone stalking me just because I talked to her this morning ...
The culture in Pakistan is changing. Especially in the bigger cities. lastknight would know that where we live it has changed drastically. ;-)
