Re: Pakistani girls marrying outside their ethnicity/culture???????
InElegance:
1) You should've thought about all this before you started dating the guy and led him to believe that marriage was a real possibility (since he proposed to you, that leads me to believe that you two dated and he was lead to believe that this relationship was leading to marriage).
2) I know MANY Pakistanis married to Pakistanis, Indian's married to Indians, Mexicans married to Mexicans etc.....yet their kids don't know anything about their own culture! On the filp side, I know several mixed couples where the kids are very well aware of BOTH cultures. Having a Pakistani husband doesn't guarantee anything. Regardless of your husband's background, if you want your children exposed to Pakistani culture....then you can do it. Yes it will be more difficult....but not impossible.
3) Who the heck cares what aunties and other random people think? You're not a teenager are you? Don't be so concerned about other people gossiping. Learn to live your own life. The ONLY people that matter are your own family and his. As long as your family and his family are ok with this union, then go for it.
On a side note: I married outside my culture. I know quite a few other couples who did the same. No one had it "easy". There were plenty of fights and tears involved in all the mixed unions I know. But once the wedding was over, everyone got on track and started behaving (at least among the couples I know). Families always put pressure and try emotional blackmail to break the couple up in the beginning. Once the wedding is done, no desi parents wants their daughter or son divorced.......hence the drama goes down to a minimum or dissappears. (Note: This is my experience with the people I know...I realize not everyone reacts this way).
When I meet someone who married outside their culture (especially desis), I think "wow....good for them! They fought for the person they loved and choose their own life partner". Being in a mixed marriage myself, I know first-hand how difficult the journey was that lead upto my wedding day. Hence when I see other desi mixed couples....I have nothing but respect for them.
We met at my first semester in university and were friends through most of it.He was a Catholic but highly interested in Islamic studies and would always ask me questions about Islam. I don't want to go into much detail.But later on ,we fell for each other even though I refused to admit it.
The aunties don't worry me couldn't care less what they think, but yeah it's probably the grief they will give my mother. Like I said before, I'm Mirpuri.Most of marriages in the British Mirpuri community are between first cousins.Parents marry their children to the children of their own brothers and sisters from back home Mirpur.Even marrying someone from outside the caste is frowned upon.
Nice to see that it can work.I'm happy for you :D
-p
Your brother and my brother sound similar..
I was in a similar situation but the rest of my family were supportive (esp my dad).. You need to find someone who's sympathetic to try and help them see sense.. Good Luck :)
Btw there are a few of us here attached and married to non-Pakistani guys..
My brother has always been totally against interracial relationships.
