Re: Pakistani girls marrying outside their ethnicity/culture???
I understand exactly what you’re trying to say in regards to non-desi spouses being judged based on their looks.
Desis judge you…period! It doesn’t matter whether its based on looks, religion, culture, background etc. Anytime you don’t fit into their definition of how things should be…desis will judge you. In my case, they may not judge us by our looks when we’re with our spouse…but as soon as they find out the difference…it doesn’t take long for the judgment to start.
For the purpose of my post here…I will state that I don’t give a da*n about what people on the street think when I’m outside with my man (even if he was gora). My thoughts/views are meant specifically towards challenges desis face with their own families when they marry someone outside their community (which is the main reason OP started this thread). Personally, the mixed couples I know also don’t care about what random strangers think about their relationship. But drama from their own families does have an effect on their relationship and at times caues great stress/tension.
The point I’m trying to make is that in situations where 2 desis people have TOTALLY different cultures/beliefs/traditions etc…the issues relating to being judged and not being accepted by each other’s families exist. The minute the family members learn that the other person is a different “type” of desi (ie. The Telugu family learning that the guy is Gujrati)…it can in certain cases cause an immeidate negative reaction. And when it comes to the parents interacting with each, planning the wedding, raising children in the future etc…the very same issues that face inter-racial couples can also face 2 desis who comes from very different cultures (ie. how to balance both sides).