Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

[NYCGori]

^controlling isnt a good word. you are more likely to be misunderstood with that choice. perhaps a reponsible and providing man is a better option.

Yes. There's a world of difference between a responsible and loving man with the heart of a provider and someone who is a jealous and abusive control freak.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

@wonder_eyed

im a pak born/raised female and from what i can understand from your question is that..for me..the husband will be the leader and the head of the family..he has to provide for me financially as well as undertake duties imposed on a husband by Shariah law..and i dont see this “dependence” as degrading or a burden..its a right given to me by ym faith to enjoy…and i do want to be the Queen of my house and not to work on a 9 to 5 job then come cook clean do the dishes etc ! :]

A woman’s disposition is suited for performing tasks inside the household,looking after kids etc..and a man works outside it..a balance which disturbed can really strain relations..

However,it goes without saying that education is crucial..when the going gets tough..the wife should be able to contribute to household finances,and support her husband, but not at the cost of sacrificing her time with kids!

I did not really understand the “controlling” point a lot..if you mean that if a man tries to control her every action or thought..in other words..treats her like a slave..well…no woman would tolerate such a person..i think :]

I would just like to add,that the tentacles of feminism havent gripped the female populace of Pakistan in general as yet which seeks to destroy a family as a unit..hope it stays that way insha’Allah!

excellent post :k:
i agree completely with it.

cricketplaya2 …it seems to me that you used the wrong choice of word. controlling is not what you were trying to say…because for most…being controlling is a negative thing.

a man being the head of the household …the leader of the flock is probably what you meant…right?

I see nothing wrong with that.

[Straight_up]

Re: Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

Muzna and NYCGori make a ton of sense. Go ladies.

[NYCGori]

@Straight_up

Muzna and NYCGori make a ton of sense. Go ladies.

[Sara516]

Re: Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

so basically it's the wrong word being used.....and basically everyone is on the same page now?

shall we continue this conversation? :D

[NYCGori]

@Sara516

so basically it's the wrong word being used.....and basically everyone is on the same page now?

shall we continue this conversation? :D

Naw, I think we still disagree on the extent to which career women are ushering in the Last Days.

[wonder_eyed]

Re: Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

hareem,cricketplaya,angeleyes...jazakallah!hehe:]

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

Cricket playa, have you ever held a job down and had to pay for more than just your iphone bill with a job in the mall selling t-shirts?

You'll appreciate having a wife with some income earning potential when the time comes around. Dunno where you live, but cost of living in America can be pretty burdensome. Having an extra hand at the wheel can help a lot.

And seriously, it all comes down to personal preference. Let people do what they want and let them have the kind of person they want. All I get annoyed with is when these chokras come out of every nook and cranny and go after the educated girls with jobs and then ask them later to leave their job. Its one thing when the girl is a secretary with an associate's degree, and doesn't mind leaving her job to sit at home, because she can do away with an annoying job with an annoying boss. Its another when you've got a woman who has invested all her time and emotions and sweat and literally EVERYTHING into her career, and you KNOW that, and you STILL marry her and then have the NERVE to ask her to stay at home. That's just lame. If you want someone to sit at home, then find someone who doesn't work or doesn't care about leaving her job later on in life.

And then you have people who don't mind a working spouse, or somehow in all of it they make it work. Look, I work with a lot of women who work really HARD and have kids, and no they're not at work all the time, and NO they have not hired a nanny. But they have family support in some form or other. Maybe mom or MIL is helping out, maybe sister is the one that babysits, maybe best friend looks after the kids in the morning and then husband takes them at night, etc. I know, I dont know if I'd want to be the kid raised like that. My mom was at home all the time for us, and its an issue I struggle with all the time. But the choice of sitting at home with children, the choice of giving up your career, etc - those are my choices. And you'll find a lot of women who are like that. You'll also find those who like to sit at home and tend to your shoes all day long if you wanted them to. Plenty of fish in the sea - just have to figure out what you want and go for it. There should be no hard and fast detailed roles that people have to stick to because of gender.

And nothing needs to be extreme. Why give up your career? Why not just scale back a little or do part-time, or work from close to home, or just take time off when you have the babies and then go back to work? Plenty of options these days to choose from for working moms.

[cricketplaya]

Cricket playa, have you ever held a job down and had to pay for more than just your iphone bill with a job in the mall selling t-shirts?

lolzzz.. i run my own business alhamdulillah and no not selling shirts. and 2- i don't follow the crowd n don't have an iphone lolzz.. i got a mortgage, school, college and universty fees to worry about (for my siblings) and other misc expenses. i know what it takes to live in North America. sorry i don't blame you for assuming what u assumed, cuz u don't know me. nice try though.

back to topic, read my replies, i have cleared up what i wanted to state in my first post.

[soni27]

Re: Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

^ phir aisi larki to apko paksitan mehi milegi..who doesnt mind being house-bound nd doesnt want ot show her face to outside world or see what sunlight looks nad feels like..

[sadzzz]

@PyariCgudia

Cricket playa, have you ever held a job down and had to pay for more than just your iphone bill with a job in the mall selling t-shirts?

You’ll appreciate having a wife with some income earning potential when the time comes around. Dunno where you live, but cost of living in America can be pretty burdensome. Having an extra hand at the wheel can help a lot.

And seriously, it all comes down to personal preference. Let people do what they want and let them have the kind of person they want. All I get annoyed with is when these chokras come out of every nook and cranny and go after the educated girls with jobs and then ask them later to leave their job. Its one thing when the girl is a secretary with an associate’s degree, and doesn’t mind leaving her job to sit at home, because she can do away with an annoying job with an annoying boss. Its another when you’ve got a woman who has invested all her time and emotions and sweat and literally EVERYTHING into her career, and you KNOW that, and you STILL marry her and then have the NERVE to ask her to stay at home. That’s just lame. If you want someone to sit at home, then find someone who doesn’t work or doesn’t care about leaving her job later on in life.

And then you have people who don’t mind a working spouse, or somehow in all of it they make it work. Look, I work with a lot of women who work really HARD and have kids, and no they’re not at work all the time, and NO they have not hired a nanny. But they have family support in some form or other. Maybe mom or MIL is helping out, maybe sister is the one that babysits, maybe best friend looks after the kids in the morning and then husband takes them at night, etc. I know, I dont know if I’d want to be the kid raised like that. My mom was at home all the time for us, and its an issue I struggle with all the time. But the choice of sitting at home with children, the choice of giving up your career, etc - those are my choices. And you’ll find a lot of women who are like that. You’ll also find those who like to sit at home and tend to your shoes all day long if you wanted them to. Plenty of fish in the sea - just have to figure out what you want and go for it. There should be no hard and fast detailed roles that people have to stick to because of gender.

And nothing needs to be extreme. Why give up your career? Why not just scale back a little or do part-time, or work from close to home, or just take time off when you have the babies and then go back to work? Plenty of options these days to choose from for working moms.

an excellent post :k:

[FairyTale]

Re: Pakistani born/raised women want controlling men?

I am ready to give up my job veryyyyyyyy happily if my hubby is earning good and ready to give me some pocket money every month.

If he is okay with above then i can have my dream fulfilled…which is i want to have 12 bachay..wow

[coccoo]

Is that true? vs. western born/raised women who mostly into that whole "independent" illusions?

i have yet to come across an idiot woman who d want a controlling husband.