Re: pakistani born and gifts
Like many people have already said, this is a very common attitude in Pakistan. It’s as if they assume everyone living in the west must be incredibly wealthy and therefore they expect to receive expensive gifts and plenty of them. Pakistanis in the west only make the matter worse by going along with it. Instead of saying “No”, they keep on giving into their demands and getting themselves into debt.
It always starts off with smaller gifts, clothes, watches, that sort of thing but before you know it they’re asking for cameras and Xboxes… no matter how much you give them, they’re still not happy!
Friends of my parents have been through something similar. Their daughter married a guy from Pakistan and they went through the whole ordeal of buying lavish gifts for practically all of the boy’s extended family. After the marriage the girl went to live in Pakistan with her new husband. Even though the guy works, they still keep asking the girl’s parents for money for all sorts of reasons, because they need a new car or stuff for the kitchen or new furniture, it’s never ending. Even when the couple come to England to visit, her parents are expected to pay for the flights AND all the gifts they take back to Pakistan!
Her parents are always complaining about it but they say they have to go along with it otherwise it will make life difficult for their daughter who’s stuck over there with her In-Laws.
Personally if I was you I would cut my losses and walk away. However, it’s your life, your choice. If you choose to marry him, then just be ready to expect more of the same. At the moment what you’re experiencing is mainly from a distance, when you’re living with him you’ll be getting this directly, face to face from his In-Laws. Will you be able to deal with that? Are you prepared to say No to them?
Ideally you need to put some distance between you and his family, it would be better in the long term if he moved to whichever country your family live in. That way he could see for himself that, contrary to popular belief, the streets aren’t actually paved with gold!
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the best. Good Luck.
This isn’t only happening with family living in the west and marrying off in Pakistan. There are families in Pakistan that demand stuff (gifts, money, household items…) from the girls parents living in Pakistan. I know a family I. Which the girls family sends over groceries for the whole Ramadan…and the guys family is very capable of buying their own groceries but want the girls family to support them. Oh and this was a love marriage the girl had known the guys for 8 years prior tot the wedding.