great post, psquared.
pathanwarrior, you asked how do you measure love and commitment when you go through an arranged marriage? i'll tell you how you DONT measure it...through an assessment of the girl's personal wealth and the prestige associated with the piece of paper she got for graduating from college.
you could see what traits she values in a partner...and likewise, she'll also notice that about you. I personally wouldn't trust anyone who was marrying me for my career choice because its not this that will hold you up.
If you're going for an arranged marriage, it doesnt matter whether the girl is here or there....there are great Pathan girls in the US too (i myself know a religious, Pathan girl who is the most naik girl I know and is an engineer) but in an arranged marriage, a good portion of it comes down to how well your families mesh.
Just because you're having an arranged marriage doesnt mean you can't get to know her....generally, there are at LEAST two meetings of the families (one when you go to her house and the second when your family goes to her house). its not wrong for you to exchange emails on the basis of trying to find out whether you're compatible for marriage.
You dont sound like someone who was born and raised here, Ill be frank with you.
You sound like the many men I ran into that werent much to look at but were looking for a fair, smart and professional female. Education is supposed to help you grow and become a better person...how has it helped you? I dont see it at all. I have yet to see one non-superficial or attractive trait in your posts.
Marriage is not a way to increase your personal assets. If your family is also planning on demanding jehez because of all the money they had to spend on you...I have no idea what to even say to you.
Lets look at it this way:
What makes YOU a great catch besides your law degree, which doesnt mean much to a Pathan doctor because she is bringing home her own paycheck????? Since she is a doctor and making her own money, your cash is of no use or value to her. Financially, you would make no difference in her life.
So aside from demanding, superficial and materialistic........what other great qualities do you possess that a professional woman - that already makes her own money and doesnt need you for that - might find attractive?
Thats the list women who have it all going for themselves will be most interested in.
This Pathan Doctor that has all the wonderful qualities you want...she doesnt have to sell herself to you...there are toooooo many like you in the US but not many like her.
Its the other way around...:)