Very Funny Article by M J Akbar.I am posting it here because I find it funny though I dont agree with many things he said...
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Law of Destiny vs Law of Averages - By M.J. Akbar
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Johannesburg: Pakistan has never beaten India in the World Cup. Is that
good news or bad news?
By the Law of Destiny that should be good news for us. Clearly Pakistan
are not destined to beat us in the Cup. And in any case the Karma of the
Indian team has been flowing strongly ever since the fans stoned a home
or two the other day and sms messages raced through the nation asking
for a boycott of products that had sponsored the team. Little wakes up
the boys more sharply than the thought that their faces could disappear
from the hoardings.
On the other hand, by the Law of Averages Pakistan should at long last
get their act together. On paper, they are tigers as well.
I fear that what will really operate on Saturday is the Law of Martial
Law.
This Law does not operate in India. If India lose on Saturday they will
have enough opportunity to recover their breath and save their face. But
if Pakistan lose...
If Pakistan lose the 11 players may well have to split towards 11
separate destinations. Waqar Younis is fine: he can always disappear
into the arms of his in-laws in Australia. Wasim Akram should be all
right as well. He has done enough to get a job in Wisden in London.
Inzimam could lumber off to Dubai, where a large section of the
Pakistani population makes every effort to look like him. Shahid Afridi,
with his looks, could find a bride anywhere. He could stay back in
Durban and model for television ads for imported spices. I am less sure
about Yousef Youhana; he is a Christian, which makes it doubly tough. My
advice to him would be to seek asylum in Bible-belt America after he has
altered his name to Joseph John. Yousef Youhana is the original Aramaic
form of Joseph John.
Saeed Anwar, of course, would have no problem returning to Pakistan. He
could land at Karachi airport to a hero?s welcome from the Binoori
Mosque Fan Club (Binoori Mosque in Karachi is where Osama bin Laden met
and befriended Mullah Omar).
But what about the comparitive unknowns, the guys in the middle who have
been included because they are alleged to be all-rounders? They are the
ones slated to get the rap for being bowled by Ashish Nehra. My heart
goes out to them but my mind is a blank. Perhaps they should head
towards New Zealand, which still has a generous immigration policy.
Indians have done the strangest things against Pakistan in one-day
cricket and still been allowed to return home. Bishan Bedi, whose IQ was
generally three steps behind his decisions, once forefeited a game in
Sahiwal, Pakistan, because Sarfraz Nawaz, who had no IQ at all, bowled
four bouncers in an over. No one understood what Bedi?s problem was. He
was not batting. In fact, we had eight wickets left and only 23 runs to
score when Bedi sulked.
Fortunately bookies were not in control of the game then, or Bedi would
never have survived an inquiry.
The most famous moment in the history of Indo-Pak encounters was in
Bangalore in 1996. Aamir Sohail, spurting like a jet engine, smashed
Venkatesh Prasad one more time to the boundary, and then arrogantly
gestured to Prasad to go fetch the ball. Prasad, suddenly simmering like
a volcano, clean bowled Sohail next ball. Pure magic.
Prasad is a commentator in this World Cup. His bowling was better.
Sohail is also a commentator. His batting was better.
Sohail?s partner in Bangalore, Saeed Anwar, is still playing, although
heavily disguised by a huge beard. He can?t bat anymore, and never knew
how to bowl. They must have included him in the team under the
cross-border terrorism quota.
The most ludicrous moment in this history was surely in Canada, during
the Sahara Cup, when Inzimam chased an Indian spectator for calling him
a potato. The price of truth has always been high. Inzy has scored 10
runs in four innings in this Cup. If he maintains the same run rate on
Saturday, even Dubai will not give him asylum.
It has taken India and Pakistan 24 years to play 85 one-dayers. Who
knows how many centuries it will now take for the two countries to
complete a century of one-dayers.