Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
All the best of luck in your search for Mr Right redlips.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Gross generalization that is pretty much off the mark, as well.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Ahem :Pretty:
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by faisal
Gross generalization that is pretty much off the mark, as well.
[/QUOTE]
Are you ouched by it? Which ofcourse would mean that you line
yourself up in such a category of Pakistanis. And yeah I stand by
what I said, foreign raised girls marrying Pakistan-raised or exported
guys, not a brilliant idea.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
I don't take crap posted here personally, and I don't post personal insults at people whose comments I disagree with. I may disagree with the opinion, not attack the person.
First of all, foreign-raised Pakistani girl marrying a Pakistani-raised guy ... dicey, yes. I won't discount is completely. I have seen some work. But thats another point. My comment was on your gross generalization about Pakistanis, per se.
I am sure there are a few in Pakistani who will fit your nice portrait, but to extrapolate it and suggesting that generally every pakistan caught up in money and trying to be westernized is inane. Majority of Pakistanis live in villages and couldn't care a rat's behind about westernization. Their main worry is to keep the Chaudhry happy so they get ghalla to feed their kids. Majority of those living in cities are again poor and are stuck in dihari and nokri issues. After you factor all this in, out of the entire Pakistan, you are only left with a small minority that is in the middle-class (upper middle class mostly) and rich class - mostly in cities - that may be trying to be westernized. And even here a large number (mostly business class) and a growing segment is now going into tableeghi jamaat and green turbans etc. So there you go! Cheers :)
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
[quote]
originally posted by faisal
I don't think crap posted here personally, and I fire personal insults at people whose comments I disagree with. I may disagree with the opinion, not attack the person.
[/quote]
Ok come again? In one sentence you are saying that you fire personal insults at people whose comments you disagree with. Whereas, in the next one
you are claiming that you don't.
Please edit and make yourself coherently englishably understandable.
Coming to the point, your average villager or city-ite most often than not
would not elude an opportunity of a free ticket to a citizenship of any North American or European country in return for marrying a foreign raised poor girl who in the
eyes of these men couldn't find a guy in her own country. I have seen losers
who were brought here by perfectly normal Pakistani girls' parents because
the parents had in their mind someone from their native country. These losers
actually belief they did high end favor to the girl and her family by coming to
her rescue and marrying her when no one else wanted her. And whether they
are your paindoo villagers or paindoo villager-turned-city-people, jamatis,
turbanis or whoever, most Pakistan-raised people are two-faced and most
foreign raised kids are straightforward and to the point raised to voice what they
belief in, hate and like. These kids are what they
put themselves out to be. On the other hand people brought up in Pakistan
have morals and ambitions way too high to care for idiotic things like ethics,
culture and a true being of one's self. It is possibly the most costly mistake a
foreign raised girl can make by importing a husband from Pakistan. Every stone
is heavier and more suited in its own place. Once moved it loses it's authenticity.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Fixed
Conjecture.
I have too. Doesn’t mean I extrapolate to say everyone is the same.
How do you know its ‘most’? I don’t think its most. I don’t think they are even a majority.
Masha Allah.
Wrong analogy. Its not losing the authencity that is the problem. You are suggesting that the authentic piece is majorly faulty. Thats what I am not sure I agree with.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
[QUOTE]
originally posted by faisal
Conjecture.
[/QUOTE]
What maybe inconclusive evidence to you based on your personal
bias may not be so to someone else. It doesn't look good when you're
on the rebound defending a whole set of people based on personal
insecurities only.
[QUOTE]
I have too. Doesn't mean I extrapolate to say everyone is the same.
[/QUOTE]
Umm yes. Guys raised in Pakistan fall under the loser category and all
of them. I haven't seen one who came here from Pakistan and wasn't
on cloud nine being in America. Even Indian-raised guys are more humble and curteous.
[QUOTE]
How do you know its 'most'? I don't think its most. I don't think they are even a majority.
[/QUOTE]
A Pakistan-raised married guy with children wanting to meet
an unmarried girl in person alone amounts to cheating. Lying, two-
timing, clubbing, dating, having sex with someone other than one's spouse,
going to any length to penetrate into the american culture and in the social
scene among families settled here for generations all amounts to desperation
which defines a loser. Also whatever it maybe called in Pakistan here in US
we call anyone with such characteristics a two-faced deceitful human.
And most people who come from Pakistan have at least one or more of
the above characteristics. I prefer Pakistanis raised here over those
raised in Pakistan.
[QUOTE]
Masha Allah.
[/QUOTE]
Alhumdolillah. Nazar mat lagana ab.
[QUOTE]
Wrong analogy. Its not losing the authencity that is the problem. You are suggesting that the authentic piece is majorly faulty. Thats what I am not sure I agree with.
[/QUOTE]
Authentic piece is majorly faulty when in a person's eyes being
authentic is everything which his country, religion, customs and traditions
contradict.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Redlips --- Best of luck. Pakistani men think like any other men of the world. They all have their own unique views about their wives and so forth. I suggest that you keep an open mind, do not have too many expectations. We meet all sorts of people where ever we go. For you, I would advise you to get to know people. Dont expect to find Mr Right as soon as you go there. And in fact while at it I would like to say that you might find your hubby in China instead of Pakistan. So enjoy your trip, and try not to worry about anything. Things sometimes dont turn out at all how we expect them too.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
My personal bias? I think I am fairly unbiased because I am not using my own personal experiences (good or bad) to extrapolate a population of 140 million. I am giving you the point that there are some people in Pakistan who are awed by everything Western. No doubt. And there are people who are bad. But I will never, for once, will agree that ALL Pakistani-raised guys are like that. Pakistan is not a uniformist society where everyone is similar.
I have seen many. People come to US for many reasons, and not everyone is happy about being here. Many go back after studies/some work experience or if their family situation changes. Many leave lucrative jobs here just so they can raise their kids in Pakistan. Plus, not EVERYONE in Pakistan wants to come to US.
Its your personal preference, thats fine. You may have met more than your fair share of lamers. I have met tonnes of wonderful, sincere and honest people from Pakistan. Lets average them all out! 
Answered above.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
are you a desi/pakistani?
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
but why would you care? I honestly don’t give a damn about other peoples lives, they can do whatever they want.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Im planning a trip to Pakistan this summer. Haven't been there for years. My stays in Pakistani usually lasts for 3-4 weeks.
But this time im intended to stay there for a long time(6mth - 1 year). Background for trip is hopefully to find a rishta there.
I want some good advices about how I can prepare myself for such a long stay in Pk. Btw, let me specify that Im a EBCD!(European born confused desi).
Im curious to know Pakistani men's opinion about selfsupporting girls born and raised up abroad. I would also like to hear from girls who have been married to stabled and selfsupporting men from Pakistan?
Can anyone share their wisdom or/and experience with me. :) Your Help is highly appreciated.
Thanks in edwance!
Have a great day.
- Redlips
self-supporting born and raised abroad sounds good to me...and if you are liberal,broad minded and don't cover your head in public then its even better:).
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Goddag
hvordan har du det??
as faisal pointed it out, brilliantly, there are many different types of people in pakistan, my best advice to you is to get to know people, in depth…i mean be sure to discuss with your prospective rishtaas issues such as where you will raise your family and how..does he plans ou to be housewife or not? and be very carefull about his reactions to your questions and anwsers, cause they are sometimes more informative than the answers themselves, especially to detect lies…
well this is rather common sense advice, but as others pointed out you have to be carefull about those who wants only your european passport…and well Norway is the most develepped country in the world:D…so it can attract a lot of people, despite the cold (reason why i speak norwegian though totally unrelated to that country:cb:)
you also have to be carefull about moral/social/religious values…i mean it depends on you, but as raised in the most feminist country of the world…adjusting to a conservative guy who wants you in the kitchen and outside of the house with nikkah and never talking to any stranger man, may be difficult…so be carefull cause you have to ask not onl what a guy want, but mostly what his family is doing as it’s so likely he will end up doing what his family wants…
you also have to be carefull of guys who cares only about your money, the kind of guy who are very “feminist”, they don’t want you in hijab, and don’t want you as housewife..but will expect you to work cause they don’t have good job, because they are fresh immigrant, or lazy:D, and will no matter what expect ypou to care of the house and the kids…hmm, in short you’ll be free…to do ALL the work:rolleyes:…
besides there are many nice men for all likes in pakistan..i find mine, i wish you’ll find yours:blush:…
just be clear on what YOU want in our life…then you’ll find it easy to spot the right person for you whan Allah makes you meet him:balley:
Lykke til!!
ha det bra!
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
:hinna:
I’ve been here for about two months now. My experience:
No matter how “liberal” and “openminded” people seem to be, underneath there is still a lot of work to be done, putting it tactfully. The mentality here is disgusting; it’s okay to be a pervert to some girl, and the argument that what if someone did that to his sister , they would all reply “well she’s not a slut like you”..:o Someone touches you, violates you, its your fault no matter what, for giving him the chance to do it, for acting a certain way, for inviting it upon yourself. Haramzada woh hota hai, aur galiyan larki ko parti hain.
Privacy doesn’t exist here. One thinks if you’re being private, there must be something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. There’s no freedom here, everyone knows everything about you. I had one relative come over and look around in my room, go through my drawers n cabinets, hell even go in my pencil box and play with some of my markers as if they were at a store, testing it out to buy it. 
People have no manners and/or are just plain stupid. I had relatives from my dads side come over and were asking my khala about the death of her husband a few years ago, asking for details as if it was a movie or fiction novel. But you can’t say anything because they’ll cut you apart later on, which leads me to my next point..
You can’t do anything nice for anyone, coz someone might take it the wrong way, or get jealous or whatever..My khala was gnna do a haqeeqa for her son’s first birthday, but they’ve decided not to do anything at all, even something simple as cut a cake, because people, mainly her nands, will just say the worst things about them like “ohh and they complain that they’re so poor” (they’re in rough times right now financially).
Everyone here complians about the poverty, about how they’re poor etc, and I used to feel bad for them, but seeing their work ethic, i have no sympathy for them. People come without their supplies, they come late, if htey ever come at all, and they take forever to do something. Nobody wants to work for anything, they want ethings handed to them. They think one day they’ll wake up and there’ll be a tree growing rupees, instead of actually taking their energy and looking for a job or studying.
No way do I want to marry someone who’s never left Pakistan; I dont want to live in the joint family system, nor do I want to deal with a guy who is not financially able to live on his own (read carefully, BE ABLE TO, NOT actually have to if non-financial circumstances prevent him from leaving). It’s stuff like this that everyone is trying to convince me that I’m wrong, that I can marry him and take him back to US, that i’m gonna be miserable living alone with my husband , that guys who don’t ever wanna leave mommy and daddy make better husbands. Basically, I’m wrong, i’m bewakoof, i’m “engraiz”
** I’m not saying America n its values are all perfect, and there are some Pakistani values that appeal to me **, but in US, you can mix those, you can have the best of both worlds; I can’t imagine having that here.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
Everyone bull****ting about Pakistan and Pakistanis, please dont come here and if you are already here, please leave. boht bakwaas kerte ho tum log, calling us names and what not.
Not everything is bad here, just like any where else. This sara516 is the limit. I dont know what kind of people has she been mingling with here in Pakistan. I have not seen many such examples. People here are ok, just like any where else. There are plenty of things wrong with you westerners as well, again just like any where else ... lekin bakwaas kerni tou zaroori hei.
I think its an intrinsic thing. Pakistan is after all a third wolrd country. Having experienced living in the west, you just feel ashamed associating with a society that, well yes, is backward in a sense and clinging on the older values.
Sara516, please leave asap. Your whining and portraying yourself as an angel wandering the corridors of hell is sickening.
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
You know what, I've seen plenty of ppl here badmouthing westerners all around, that all us grls are badmaash, that we have no class, that we're ugly, slutty, whatever.. ive come across so many stupid questions and comments and im sick of it..
I never said America was perfect nor Pak was hell..there's a good side and a bad side to everything, no doubt abt that. maybe you havent xperienced the same things as me, or maybe you just dont let these things bother you, n i wish i was that type to not let anything bug me easily... Everything i said, is true, ive been through, NOT the typical "oh i heard this happened/someone told me/" type of bakwaas... Everyone has different experiences, good and bad.
N no im not gonna leave, i have more reasons to stay than to go, but I think im allowed to vent here!
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
excuse me?? no sorry, pakistan is a wonderfull country, and full of wonderfull people, but no where is dream land, and ther are some bad people too, na?
Re: Pakistan - Long term stay and marrige!
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