is it really so?
many of us will go back to get marry in Pakistan. why dont ppl get marry to someone where they are living? do we really really have to back?
bringing parents in the picture is a lame excuse, cuz you can always convince the rationality.
especially the guys, who prefer to marry someone living in Pakistan. dont they know their sisters or daughters will also be refused to marry only cuz she is living abroad.
It is quite obvious that Pakistan is more Jannah, and the way it is moving towards “moderation”, why people still go back and prefer to marry there?
Why not? The chinese do it. The Indians do it. The various african communities do it. Its normal to do so for small diasporas. However if your diaspora is rather large like that of the Hispanic community in the US, then it doesn't really matter.
i think most young folks abroad see each other as incompatible when it comes to marriage, because they might be too "wild or crazy", and they seem to think folks back home are much more grounded in values and morals.
I know guys would rather get a girl from there because they think girls from the country they live in are messed up or not right.
I know girls would rather get a guy from Pakistan because they think the guys from the country they live in are messed up or not right.
BUT I think the girls who marry a guy in pak face another challenge--It's a big struggle. They can end up losing months or even years of their married life living apart.
When he arrives, more likely than not they'll have challenges getting him a job, saving up money etc. The guy may have self esteem and insecurity issues b/c he's unable to provide for his wife like a man typically should..and that may cause troubles between the couple. Don't get me wrong, the guy can be perfect and good and all that, but the financial struggle, that's the reality that girls should think about when they get into such a situation.
Guys who marry girls from pakistan are less likely to go through that particular struggle.
You can take the person out of Pakistan, but you can't take his roots away from them. For some, it is a way of clinging on to those roots and it may be more familiar to them.
one motivation goes beyond individuals, compatibility, etc... and it is that some folks don't want to lose their connection to Pakistan. some ppl have not lived any part of their adult life in Pakistan... their parents don't have houses there. so, apart from idealism, etc, on practical grounds, they don't have anywhere to go to in Pakistan. by getting married to someone in Pakistan, maybe they can strengthen that practical connection to Pakistan and give themselves a more concrete reason to go back home...
IMO apart from that pre-conceived notion Pakistani guys have that girls here are too wild, its also because there is less Pakistani population/selection here (abroad).
I don't get it. I think the guys FROM Pakistan are MORE messed up.
shrugs It really surprises me when I see people BORN and RAISED abroad going back to get a rishta. Most of the time, the marriage ends up being miserable and IF it stays together, its the girl who does 99% of the compromising. If the girl is from Pakistan, better, because those girls know they'll have to change everything drastically. If the guy is from Pakistan, good luck. Our Pakistani men were never taught or modelled on how to change for their wife.
You can take the person out of Pakistan, but you can't take his roots away from them. For some, it is a way of clinging on to those roots and it may be more familiar to them.
Agree with this quote. A lot of people that move away from their mother land will do their best to hold on to their roots. The people in their home country move forwards but those that have moved out still consider the same values and morals to be present that were there 20 years ago. This isn't the case.
A lot of families marry their children off 'back home' to help their families there. I.e. they will marry their child off to their brothers/sisters child in the hope that the whole family will benefit (financially mostly).
It isn't always the case that girls from the UK have less values and morals than girls from Pakistan. Let me tell you now that people from pakistan are a lot less naive than 'westerners' assume. I know many 'innocent' young girls from Pakistan who have turned out to be manipulative, conniving trouble makers!
i think the answer here is why not? as long as the decision is made by the person whos life it concerns..i mean is someone wants to for themselves then why not...i know my parents would actually prefer me to marry someone from here BUT im engaged to a guy in pak.my own choice...my own decision...no outside influences...
but i think when parents first port of call wen looking for rishtas is pak..u know there is not going to be much of the childs say involved..
I disagree with title ... Pakistan is a land of reality that really hits hard. One of the reasons that people run away from there. I think getting back to your motherland and thinking about improving it should be encouraged and not discouraged.
Some people lack the necessary connections to make rishtas happen. Back at home they have siblings and relatives whom they can trust with such matters.
I read few replies..parts of them..
Other then sara..
Every one seems like selling their own self... Would it come as surprise to you ppl that you might be part of that population which comparatively is harder to get along with?
OR one with more issues.. That If you absolutely have to categorize ppl after taking them off the shelves... or should i sat off the boat...
really good topic. it sort of makes me angry too, all the good guys who are well educated and from a good family goes back to pakistan and get married to their cousins or some random girl. but when it comes to their sister who is refused by many guys from good families because "she is born as raised here and might not be a very good pakistani house wife", they complain about not being able find good rishta here.
i don't think the girls who are raised here wants to marry someone from pakistan, it's always the guy.
Correction. Not all. I know three "Good" Pakistani guys all who grew up abroad, lived abroad and settled in the West who married girls born and brought up in the West. They are happily married with kids.
Note: Good is defined in the traditional sense: Good families, strong academic backgrounds, good solid careers, financially self-sufficient with their own homes etc etc.
