just curious about other communities in the us. in my area ppl are horrible, jealous, dont care about one another, love to spread gossip but when someones in trouble could care less about helping. is this the same everywhere…or do i just live in a horrible area? why cant i find pakistanis who would stop showing off and just be normal? is it because pakistanis are just jealous competitive selfish people?
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i dont know abt every where but same kinda thing is happening where i live 
now, i have chinese and indian friends for the very reason
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There's plenty of that here too, but it is not the primary form of interaction. There are so many families here who have been like real family to us. I love them, and I can't imagine who I would be without them.
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I think its not only Pakistaniz but it depends from person to person. But I think we Pakistani are little bit arrogant and self centered.
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We live in an area that is mainly christian and jewish but there are a handful of Muslim families. And every school in the district includes Eid songs at the holiday concerts, teach kids about what each different holiday means etc. People are very nice but also pretty much keep to themselves, dont get overly involved in each others lives and gossip....SO FAR anyway lol!
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sounds like parts of the desi crowd in the areas around "tarantoo" also. i keep friends my own age from the pakistani community that i know won't be indulging in useless gossip with the aunties. i find the main thing is to keep your distance, literally- move downtown and it'll remove you from that environment entirely. plus downtown is more fun anyway :p
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i've moved around a lot in the US and I think its just a couple of 'bad apples' in a community that spoil it for everyone else, warna generally Pakistani communities are friendly, welcoming and family-oriented. The key is to distinguish the trouble-makers, who love creating chaos for the fun of it and stay away from them!
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Wherever there are a lot of desies - there will be trouble! At least thats what I say, lol.
Seriously though, you're right. Pakistanis tend to be on the more pretentious side, love to show off, gossip, etc. That is just how we are...lol
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I live in a small metro city in the US and totally love the Pakistani community here. I think part of that is because everyone is well educated, even stay at home wives. The people that we know are very friendly, caring and will rush to be on your side in a heartbeat when you need them. I havent heard of anyone gossiping about the other so far (i know them for almost a year now).
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i know what you mean....heheh thats why my dad stays away fromd desis
its both ways though...some people are really annoying, gossiping ,payndooish
other are descent and family oriented..
i've moved around a lot in the US and I think its just a couple of 'bad apples' in a community that spoil it for everyone else, warna generally Pakistani communities are friendly, welcoming and family-oriented. The key is to distinguish the trouble-makers, who love creating chaos for the fun of it and stay away from them!
I agree.
If you dismiss the whole community for a few bad apples (or for a few bad acts inspired by insecurities of generally decent apples), you're giving in to the same narrow-minded and arrogant mentality that corrupts them.
Keep an open mind, avoid those who you find troublesome, but don't make assumptions about everyone.
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where i live the community is actually very nice.... the pakistani community is helpful and caring... we are very tighknit.... when my father got sick they drove us to adn from school.... made us meals...took us out kids out... they are so sweet and to them i am undoubtedly grateful
In every community there are some good and some bad people. Try to network , connect and engage with nice people of the community.
I do not agree that each and every individual of the community you live in is bad. There must be some nice people there , identify with them and live happily ever after.
I live in smallville USA , there are some good , nice and caring people here and there are some who are not so good , not nice and not caring so I stay away from them. It took me some time to identify the good and the bad and the ugly but I did. Since you are nice ,caring and sincere person yourself Allah will help you , Inshallah.
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Where I used to live before I got married, my mosque had lot of Pakistanis as well as Indians, Arabs etc.. We had speeches in Urdu/Farsi/Arabic/etc and of course English..
The point is, the atmosphere at my mosque made the Pakis humble there in some respects.. But yes, there were some problems. Some Pakis, not all, kind of act as if they are better than others in character, clothing and everything else. This makes me sad and yes mad indeed too. But I am lucky to say that those types of Pakis are few in that mosque. The ones who were like this barely complimented others on clothing during Eids and have their own "exclusive" circle of friends they hangout with. I am soo glad my Mom raised me better than this and I have been taught to compliment others and acknowledge everyone nicely around me etc...
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Why are some you guys self hating?
There are good and bad amongst all communities. If you have 1, 2, or even 3 families that are good - that is all you need to create a local community.
Good point pak-one.
My area is pretty okay too where I live
but then you have those people who spread information faster than cable news network; including the girls, not generalizing :D
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its all cool, there are all types of people around, just find those who you click with and dont worry about those you dont click with even if you run into them at diff events. I woukld advise that you keep an open mind though, otherwise you may miss out on some good ppl who dont have the same background as yourself or have diff views about life but are just good people.
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my mom always brings up the incident w/ the family in brooklyn when talking abt teh disadvantages of living in a paki community…:hinna:…
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There are good and bad people everywhere regardless of the ethnicity... ive got friends from asian background, lebanese.. and they all have the same issues..
just find people that u click with and ignore the rest... :)
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kam milnay say mohabbat berhti hai.