Pain of love

[outofdisworld]

Re: Pain of love

@IndiGo_Rain

Who cares if your mom doesn’t like it. No parent would. Most people don’t like being corrected, they don’t like anyone giving them unsolicited advice. The objective is not to make your mom “like” the unsolicited advice. The objective is not to please your mom. The objective is to plant a seed in her head, to get her thinking even if it isn’t apparent to you. Usually when we are chided or given unsolicited advice that challenges our beliefs, our ego will make us defensive, we may get angry, but it will still make us think about the other person’s words. It makes us question ourselves, our actions and views. And maybe an adult from the family, such as a grandparent or aunt, can talk to your mom in a better way than you. They may word things in a more impactful way or may give a hint to your mom that could wake her up. If you have tried talking to your parents time and again to no avail, then this is the next step. Dua bhi karo aur koshish bhi.

Thanks. Good post. There’s another little problem. I am not close with anyone in the extended family. So is one supposed to just get on with it tell them about your situation? Helpful post.

@Hmmna

Actually that that post is very apt and appropriate for your situation. Stop acting like you are in a Bollywood love story. Be practical if you know thre is no future with his guy just move on.
and once you open a post anyone can reply. You can’t say it is my thread as anyone can give can reply.

Lmao, I am not acting like im in Bollywood, nor do I really watch any such movies these days. It’s the same old love story ****.
Well anyone can reply if they want to. But if they don’t like what I post, they can simply ignore it.

[Hmmna]

Re: Pain of love

Well if you can LYAO you aren’t that depressed. Life is too short move on.

[outofdisworld]

Re: Pain of love

@Hmmna

Well if you can LYAO you aren’t that depressed. Life is too short move on.

I am trying u see. My mood/emotion is very unpredictable. One second I may be laughing, next im crying. :s feel like hormones are messed.

[fabled]

Re: Pain of love

If you want to make your love eternal then don’t get married to him.

[GlobalGal]

Re: Pain of love

@fabled

If you want to make your love eternal then don’t get married to him.

What do you mean fabled?

[mahool]

Re: Pain of love

@GlobalGal

What do you mean fabled?

Heer Ranjha
Sassi Punnu
Sohni Mahiwal

[GlobalGal]

Re: Pain of love

If love lasts throughout life partnership then I would say that it’s that matured love. Heer Ranjha, Romeo Juliet never lived with each other or went through all of the struggles and issues that come up in marriage so I don’t know whether that is really love or maybe it’s a different level of love.

[outofdisworld]

Re: Pain of love

@GlobalGal

If love lasts throughout life partnership then I would say that it’s that matured love. Heer Ranjha, Romeo Juliet never lived with each other or went through all of the struggles and issues that come up in marriage so I don’t know whether that is really love or maybe it’s a different level of love.

Or I could never marry and just work and live my life.

[GlobalGal]

Re: Pain of love

@outofdisworld

Or I could never marry and just work and live my life.

Or you can try to see that this state of desperation and emotional pain, pessimism is one in which you should never make any life decisions because you’ll regret that decision. After you’ve fully recovered, you will be at the point where you’ll think rationally when it comes to thoughts of a life partner. Oh and the back and forth, sadness, happiness is normal because you’ve been used to being in contact with him and now all of a sudden you’re going through withdrawal symptoms because whatever you two had is not possible. Have you been in touch with him at all?

[outofdisworld]

Re: Pain of love

@GlobalGal

Or you can try to see that this state of desperation and emotional pain, pessimism is one in which you should never make any life decisions because you’ll regret that decision. After you’ve fully recovered, you will be at the point where you’ll think rationally when it comes to thoughts of a life partner. Oh and the back and forth, sadness, happiness is normal because you’ve been used to being in contact with him and now all of a sudden you’re going through withdrawal symptoms because whatever you two had is not possible. Have you been in touch with him at all?

Yeh thats true.
Well same thing with marriage. One day I wanna marry, next day I dont. A lil bit.

[IndiGo_Rain]

Re: Pain of love

Who cares if it was real love or something less than that? Why are we trying to figure that out? My apologies for sounding biaatchy when I say that I don’t understand why post # 64 received a like or is even being analyzed. To spend the rest of your life alone because you didn’t get that one person, is a romantic notion better left for the movies and novels. And when you do get married, hopefully you’ll focus more on the marriage than on keeping the memory former love alive. You just broke up, OP. Naturally your mind will be consumed by thoughts of this guy and so you may not feel like marrying at all. But with time, as the pain lessens, and as you also begin to think less and less about him, you may want to get married.

If you are not close with your relatives, then maybe that’s a place to start. Get to know your cousins, visit them, it’ll keep you busy. And if things don’t improve with your own attempts at talking with your parents, and if siblings have tried to no avail as well, then consider getting the help of respected and influential relatives who can talk to your parents about giving you a bit more freedom and thinking more seriously about getting you married.

[GlobalGal]

Re: Pain of love

@outofdisworld

Yeh thats true.
Well same thing with marriage. One day I wanna marry, next day I dont. A lil bit.

The “a lil bit” was for what? you’ve been keeping in touch with him a lil bit? Cold turkey means cut off all contact, that’s rule numero uno of getting over someone. Block him out completely for two months. But you seem to want to wallow in this dead zone that you’re in, if you actually truly want to get over it and not keep going with this self torture for whatever reason then stop the lil bit of contact. That was the only time I actually got on the road to recovery.

[Maula_Jatt]

Been there op. Its not easy but it is simple.

Best thing to do first is cut contact. Stop keeping tabs. Until u do that you wont let go. And once you start keeping away, dont fall to a moment of weakness and do a quick fb stalk or something. All ur healings efforts will be reversed and you will start at square one.

What u need next is a hobby. Or just day to day activities. Not only with the busy schedule will you feel more productive, but you need to find an identity for yourself that exists outside of relationships.

Lastly, you need to know that this isnt it for you. It may feel like this is it and you lost your last shot at the best love you were gonna have but I can tell this is not true. You will need to open yourself to others and give them a chance.

[GlobalGal]

Re: Pain of love

It’s been 5 months of no contact for me, I’m still in recovery mode but I also have another issue that i’m recovering from for 4 months and this person I put on a pedestal and the person brought a huge change in me but it’s not possible for a future together. I think the not looking on facebook and doing a google search of the guy is the hardest because it’s just a few clicks away. It takes a huge change and a bit of foresight, self love in ourselves to do it. The backsliding is only human but we end up hurting ourselves by doing that because like someone else said it reverses all the recovering we did so far because it’s a huge rush of pain when you do look on facebook and google search and see their perfect pictures.

It sux more because there aren’t any desi events for some time so finding distractions is so difficult.