Hi,
How do you overcome the pain of love? We both love one another but can’t get married due to difference in religions. I really have no one to talk to and it is killing me inside. If somebody could please talk to me? I am trying to forget him but it’s not helping me. What should I do? I cant keep busy either because I work only one job and then I am free the rest of the days.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Re: Pain of love
Not possible to forget him. You can only move on and then with time you'll find that you think less and less about him and then hardly at all. Occupy your free time with diff activities such as hobbies you once enjoyed, goals you want to achieve, tasks about the home, spiritual activities, volunteer work. You can travel for a change in scenery. You have to ride it out and you will; it takes time. Hang in there. :(
Re: Pain of love
Dost this might get more responses in the relationships section. Pain of love is hard as is heartbreak :( I feel for you. Tell us more of your story. Have you met his family? Do they know of you? Would both families be accepting? Can you convince him to change his views? How different are you religion wise-is it sect based difference or other? How far is he willing to go for you? Does he love you to same extent or do you deserve better?
What are your hobbies? Maybe you can spend time doing what you like or doing something fun. It won't be easy initially but give it time.
Spend time with trusted friends and family who understand. Find solace in religion.
You can busy yourself with volunteer work or helping those disadvantaged in community.
Re: Pain of love
Not possible to forget him. You can only move on and then with time you'll find that you think less and less about him and then hardly at all. Occupy your free time with diff activities such as hobbies you once enjoyed, goals you want to achieve, tasks about the home, spiritual activities, volunteer work. You can travel for a change in scenery. You have to ride it out and you will; it takes time. Hang in there. :(
We still talk to one another. :( why is suicide haraam. There is no inner peace. When I was single I was searching and was in pain. Now I have someone and im still in pain. I am willing to leave everything for God, only if I Get inner peace. Wanna go back to Makkah and cry hard there.
Dost this might get more responses in the relationships section. Pain of love is hard as is heartbreak :( I feel for you. Tell us more of your story. Have you met his family? Do they know of you? Would both families be accepting? Can you convince him to change his views? How different are you religion wise-is it sect based difference or other? How far is he willing to go for you? Does he love you to same extent or do you deserve better?
What are your hobbies? Maybe you can spend time doing what you like or doing something fun. It won't be easy initially but give it time.
Spend time with trusted friends and family who understand. Find solace in religion. You can busy yourself with volunteer work or helping those disadvantaged in community.
Thanks.
He is willing to convert but my family would want his whole family to convert too. :s he has told about me to his sister, I told my sister. But that's it. I blame my parents for not getting me married last year when a really nice proposal came, at least that person was from the same religion. I had a feeling I might fall for someone who I wont be able to marry. :s
Re: Pain of love
what??? If he is willing to convert phir kya problem. That means he is same religion now, right? That's a bit unrealistic to expect his family to convert. How can he control that? Maybe he will tell his family also.
Don't worry if nice proposals have come in past they will come again in future. That proposal perhaps wasn't meant to be. Maybe it was nice on the surface but deep down would have caused issues. Jo bhi hota hai acche ke liye hota hai whether we know reasons or not. Tht's what i think.
Running away is not an answer. Neither is suicide. How do we know that there will be inner peace. do your friends in real life know are they supportive?
Can he convince your parents? Perhaps if he says you will live separate to his parents it shouldn't matter? Maybe you can give examples of people who have married converts/reverts and done fine? Even if you can never be with this person, have they enriched your life or made a difference to your life in any way? Contributed more than taken away. Maybe something positive can be taken away from that.
Re: Pain of love
pahle dil denaa
phir dard lenaa
uske ba'd maraz-e-dil
phir davaa-e-dil
ba'd az aaN, intizaar-e-ajal
jo aatii to roz hii hai
magar jaan letii nahiiN!
Re: Pain of love
i hear that sad songs and poems help sometimes if done in moderation. Let's you express those feelings.
Us Paar Utarny Ki Umeed Bohat Km Hai
Kashti Bhi Purani Hai Toofan Ko Bhi Ana Hai...
Kehne Deti Nahi Kuch Muh Se Mohabbat Meri
Lub Pe Reh Jati Hai Aa Aa K Shikaayat Meri...
Re: Pain of love
nvm
Re: Pain of love
Thank you so much.
I was going at it intensely. Then I cried hard and listened to sad hindi/punjabi songs. That helped me. I know tomorrow I may end up feeling sad again, but that's tomorrow.
Re: Pain of love
what??? If he is willing to convert phir kya problem. That means he is same religion now, right? That's a bit unrealistic to expect his family to convert. How can he control that? Maybe he will tell his family also. Don't worry if nice proposals have come in past they will come again in future. That proposal perhaps wasn't meant to be. Maybe it was nice on the surface but deep down would have caused issues. Jo bhi hota hai acche ke liye hota hai whether we know reasons or not. Tht's what i think.
Running away is not an answer. Neither is suicide. How do we know that there will be inner peace. do your friends in real life know are they supportive? Can he convince your parents? Perhaps if he says you will live separate to his parents it shouldn't matter? Maybe you can give examples of people who have married converts/reverts and done fine? Even if you can never be with this person, have they enriched your life or made a difference to your life in any way? Contributed more than taken away. Maybe something positive can be taken away from that.
Maybe because we'll never know if he converted from the heart. Yeh true. I am just trying to find flaws in him lol but cant. I mean his qualities > his flaws.
No, no one in my real life knows about my situations. I somehow shut up automatically when it comes to real life friends and sharing it with them. Honestly thats what im also trying to figure out. Like if God put me in this situation for quite some time now, then why don't i feel so much of a difference in my life? Although when we talk, I am just happier.
Re: Pain of love
:hugz: :aansoo pochifying: I know it sounds strange but it does help. Makes you feel others have been in that situation. Hope the ones posted help. I like the ones that start sad and have happy ending.
Kal ki baat kal ..and kal ho na Ho parson to hoga. 
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ88ZRODkiE&feature=kp
For sad songs I like the bhool theme song which is a hum tv drama.
Re: Pain of love
Awww thanks for the hug. Thank you.
Re: Pain of love
thts the hardest thing to do.. only time can help u go through this.. may Allah swt give u strength n patience to forget n go thru this hard time.. ameen
Give in.
Re: Pain of love
thts the hardest thing to do.. only time can help u go through this.. may Allah swt give u strength n patience to forget n go thru this hard time.. ameen
Aameen. Trying hard to smile, even fakely.
Give in.
Give in to what?
Re: Pain of love
I don't get it. If we can move on from this pain of love after 2 months or 3 months, was it really love? I was talking to one of my friends about this during one of our girls night out talking sessions and she thinks that if you can move on from love than it wasn't really love in the first place. Even if it was real love and you lost it somehow, in order to survive and become whole again, live life again, we have to move on for ourselves. Is being able to move on or not move on a sign of real love?
OP if you can get your hands on "it's called a breakup because it's broken", it'll help, some of the parts in there are funny so it'll get you to smile a bit. Some of the stories in there really help because the extreme ones will make you feel like yours isn't so bad after all.
Even if there's a chance that one of you will revert or the relationship will work or not, it doesn't matter, take 2 months off from it and seeing him in any way, get back to yourself again and taking care of you. Get a makeover or go for a spa session with your friend and pamper yourself. It'll take you out of this gloom and looking hot too. If it's really meant to be it'll happen but by thinking about it 24/7 you're only torturing yourself. Life and time are precious. Be in the company of others, meet new people, do things you've never done before and always wanted to. Focus on improving yourself and making yourself a better person.
If this guy has already moved on in those two months or married already, then you'll know that he definitely wasn't the guy for you.
Some of those different religion, different culture marriages work but they are a lot of work so maybe this one not working out now before you went any further, saved you from intense even more painful heartbreak/divorce in the future.
Re: Pain of love
Anyone can move on from anything if you try hard enough.
Re: Pain of love
I don't get it. If we can move on from this pain of love after 2 months or 3 months, was it really love? I was talking to one of my friends about this during one of our girls night out talking sessions and she thinks that if you can move on from love than it wasn't really love in the first place. Even if it was real love and you lost it somehow, in order to survive and become whole again, live life again, we have to move on for ourselves. Is being able to move on or not move on a sign of real love?
OP if you can get your hands on "it's called a breakup because it's broken", it'll help, some of the parts in there are funny so it'll get you to smile a bit. Some of the stories in there really help because the extreme ones will make you feel like yours isn't so bad after all.
Even if there's a chance that one of you will revert or the relationship will work or not, it doesn't matter, take 2 months off from it and seeing him in any way, get back to yourself again and taking care of you. Get a makeover or go for a spa session with your friend and pamper yourself. It'll take you out of this gloom and looking hot too. If it's really meant to be it'll happen but by thinking about it 24/7 you're only torturing yourself. Life and time are precious. Be in the company of others, meet new people, do things you've never done before and always wanted to. Focus on improving yourself and making yourself a better person.
If this guy has already moved on in those two months or married already, then you'll know that he definitely wasn't the guy for you.
Some of those different religion, different culture marriages work but they are a lot of work so maybe this one not working out now before you went any further, saved you from intense even more painful heartbreak/divorce in the future.
Great ideas but her parents won't let her go out and meet friends..or even go shopping on her own. So she has online for solace which is why im glad she has found GS. Think the guy has not moved on to find someone new but he is trying to help her move on by encouraging her/moving away.
Great suggestion on the reading material.
With time I think OP will heal..but if it takes longer to move on like you say it means there was actually love.
Re: Pain of love
I think it's painful moving on because subconsciously you'll also be thinking of him and how this affects him. You can't control another's actions and even if he does disintegrate on the inside, as some people do after breakup, you can't change it or affect things. It's like a grieving process and people express it differently. Both of you had dreams of a future and life together. Now that dream is gone it may take time for both of you, especially him, to get over it.
Re: Pain of love
I don't get it. If we can move on from this pain of love after 2 months or 3 months, was it really love? I was talking to one of my friends about this during one of our girls night out talking sessions and she thinks that if you can move on from love than it wasn't really love in the first place. Even if it was real love and you lost it somehow, in order to survive and become whole again, live life again, we have to move on for ourselves. Is being able to move on or not move on a sign of real love?
OP if you can get your hands on "it's called a breakup because it's broken", it'll help, some of the parts in there are funny so it'll get you to smile a bit. Some of the stories in there really help because the extreme ones will make you feel like yours isn't so bad after all.
Even if there's a chance that one of you will revert or the relationship will work or not, it doesn't matter, take 2 months off from it and seeing him in any way, get back to yourself again and taking care of you. Get a makeover or go for a spa session with your friend and pamper yourself. It'll take you out of this gloom and looking hot too. If it's really meant to be it'll happen but by thinking about it 24/7 you're only torturing yourself. Life and time are precious. Be in the company of others, meet new people, do things you've never done before and always wanted to. Focus on improving yourself and making yourself a better person.
If this guy has already moved on in those two months or married already, then you'll know that he definitely wasn't the guy for you.
Some of those different religion, different culture marriages work but they are a lot of work so maybe this one not working out now before you went any further, saved you from intense even more painful heartbreak/divorce in the future.
I get what you mean. But my situation is different. I have prayed to God again and again to remove my love for him and his love for me in our hearts if we aren't meant to be without any feeling of pain. Only God can do that. God alone can move hearts and put love and take love away from hearts if one asks God for it, considering it's reasonable. If I don't pray about it, I still have feelings for him. So let's see if my feelings would go slowly by the help of Dua. If you sacrifice yourself, that was probably real love to because you don't want to hurt him or anyone else in the family.
Thx yeh, I'll think of it that way. Hope it helps me. Ok ill take a look at those stories.
Thx for the tips. Yeh, I feel like I have really did torture myself already. But what if after 2 months I talk to him again and I start to have feelings for him again? (If my current feelings go away in the first place that is).
Well I have already told him to get married and he told me too so considering we both know it's impossible. I just feel suffocated knowing that I wont know how he is, if he's ok, if he ate, if he sleeps on time, if his heart is happy, etc etc. So I told him to marry someone at least then my heart would be at peace knowing someone is there to care for him. I dont know if he's gonna marry yet though. I know deep down it'll kill me inside seeing him with someone else, but I'll know at least he's happy and someone will be by his side to take care of him. True, maybe it's the best for the both of us. God does what's best for all of us.
Anyone can move on from anything if you try hard enough.
True.