Mausam6
November 10, 2014, 2:55pm
85
Re: Overwhelmed
I know a family that is ridiculously rich…they flew in guests from all over the world (almost 400) to India for their son’s wedding…paid for 7 days stay at ITC Maurya etc. Heck Shahrukh Khan, Bipasha Basu, Anuskha Sharma and a few other celebs actually performed at one of the wedding events! The bride’s family is middle class. The ENTIRE wedding was paid for by the groom’s family (all expenses for guests, 6 days of lavish events, designer clothing, even hair/makeup artists available for all female guests etc). But guess what…the groom’s family planned the ENTIRE event. The bride didn’t even see her designer outfits until she flew to India a week before the wedding. The bride and her family had 0 input.
You should not even think about how much money his family has if you’re thinking about thing YOU want during your wedding. You want something? Be ready to pay for it. If they offer to pay for your wants…that’s great. But you have no right to expect that just b/c they’re rich. And if they bring up their expectations that are lavish…then you can simply tell them that you cannot afford it. If this family is anything like the rich families I know…if you expect them to split the cost then they will want the events done to their standards, and will want their taste/preferences taken into account when choosing vendors/location and other details. In which case even 50% of the expenses will be WAAAAAY out of your budget.
BTW, my wedding was 1 day…wedding ceremony in the afternoon and reception in the evening. Money was also a consideration when I planned my wedding, and I chose to cut out all other events in order to save money. I get that you have certain wants when it comes to your wedding…but you also need to use your brain rather than emotions and see if its really worth spending thousands of dollars on those wants for just that 1 day (heck not even a full day…just a few hours).
Personally I think it’s a horrible idea to wait until his mother is here on a business trip, meeting you for the first time, and where time is tight…for him to bring up this issue for the first time. Even then it seems there is no guarantee he will have the time to discuss it with her. You two really need to re-consider this. Ideally he should have this conversation with BOTH his parents right now…over Skype or other video chat. That way, BOTH his parents have a time to discuss this and think it over before his mother flies out here.
What his parents paid for their own daughter is not relevant here since you are not their daughter. Culturally, many families expect that the girl’s side will pay for these events. It would help if they had another son that got married but doesn’t look like that’s the case.
Thanks Paheli00 I needed some tough advice.
I brought the idea up of having a 1 day wedding with my mom, she’ll ask if his mom is ok with Nikkah during the day at the Masjid/at the hall and then Shaadi/Walima at the same hall in the evening.
I asked him to discuss it with his parents over skype, but his mom told him she preferred to have this conversation in person. I do agree with you on the limited time though. Other family members of his are now joining us, I suppose his mom wants them to represent his parents during the planning because this family is in canada.