Overwhelmed

[Mausam6]

Re: Overwhelmed

@Muzna

It sort of sounds like your in-laws have a way of doing things (i.e. they expect the girl’s side to foot the bill of the wedding just as they did for their own daughter) and they are expecting the same from you.

To be perfectly honest, I agree that some of these events really do NOT need to happen at all. They are unnecessary extravagances that are putting stress and strain on a relationship that is super-delicate to begin with.

Or you just need to quietly foot the bill and accept that the in-laws are doing nothing wrong.

I understand there are some unecessary events and deep down inside I know you’re right. I don’t want to harbour any bitter feelings and by mistake end up hurting my Fiance’s feelings or my own for that sake. So I’m trying to just wait till 2 weeks from now & then I’ll have my mom bring up future plans and if Fiance & I allowed to stay in the room maybe we can excitingly chime in about our research so far? (we’re meeting at her hotel room) and that might bring up the cost topic . I went and bought an unstitched outfit for his mother, dadi, phupoo, and his mother’s best friend (as a return gift since I’m meeting her for the first time & she gifted me some expensive items (totally not required & I honestly can’t match the same value as a return gift since she got me a designer suit, 8 perfumes (Chanel/Dior/D&G/Prada/Gucci/Giorgio Armani/Burberry/J’adore) a Swarovski bold ring and a necklace, M.A.C. cosmetics and a Givenchy wallet), and his dadi and phupoo initiated the baat pakki so as a token I’m sending them unstiched suits, and one for his mothers best friend as she had gifted me a designer suit a few months prior when she met me as moun dikhai I guess?). On top of all that his mother bought a diamond ring of her own choice as a token (apparently this is separate from the engagement ring). No way I can match this for his entire family, I can try but I’d be hoping for a shooting star instead.
I recently finished paying my car off to avoid debts so I can focus on wedding costs, but I still have another 15K to pay as a result of someone running away with our money when they found out my dad passed away, so thats why my savings aren’t as much.
I’ll be cautious & take heed to your advice and will make sure these delicate relationships don’t get strained, at the same time I can’t foot the full bill.
This rishta happened so easily (It’s been 5 years today since we’ve been together) and there have always been constant bumps regarding having the parents meet, and how our parents felt. This Baat pakki got somewhat cancelled as well because his dadi fell ill and his parents flew to Pakistan, while we were visiting the middle east. I prayed during my flight asking Allah SWT to only let this baat pakki go ahead if its in our best interest and if its the right timing. A few days later during the trip Fiance tells me his mom wants to speak to my mother and rest was a breeze, it felt like Allah SWT literally just opened the doors one after one. So my faith lies in Allah SWT, my destiny is pre-written. I just wish an easy, happy, and loving marriage upon everyone. Ameen.