most of the weddings i’ve been to these things do happen after dinner. I don’t think there’s a specific time they need to happen. In a few occasions they’ve even had to go forego these rasms because they’ve run out of time. Keep in mind this is my experience at Pakistani weddings in the west. In Pakistan they barely serve the food till midnight anyways. Except for Lahore; I had a really good experience there with the rule of halls closing at 10. People were still late but they had no option to delay the food since the halls were turning off the lights by like 9:30.
^The only Pakistani weddings I have attended are here in Britain, so I don’t know if these differ from weddings in Pakistan. The few that I have attended, the couple didn’t get too carried away with the rasam thing. They basically did a couple of things and then served dinner and allowed the guests to mingle and socialise. From what I gather from other posters though, this isn’t the norm?
I don’t think they’re supposed to be part of a stage show, at least not traditionally, in Pakistani weddings. They were spontaneous things for most people, planned by very few. And I think still now in most circumstances, only those interested take part. But I have seen weddings where this kind of stuff holds up everything else.
Bechari dulhan…when she makes her grand entrance…the audience will have to pull themselves away from their food and discourse to look at her, some will take a quick look at her and whip their heads back to the food, others will be staring and chewing and burping and wiping their mouths at the same time. What a nazaara.
Overzealous fathers of the bride just open the khana without a second thought. One of my friends nearly started crying when her father did that but it wasn’t the worst.
There was a wedding I went to where a lot of people were squeezed into a tiny space. I was hit by children a couple of times even though I was sitting in a corner. They started the food without the dulhan and all the dulha ppl were fed while on the stage. Damn there was some epic rice and salan flying everywhere and when the dulhan came I think her dress must have been wrecked just sitting on the stage. Like no one even bothered to sweep the stage.
There are a lot of things the new generation doesn’t feel shy about… does that mean they should do everything so openly?? You have to do few things out of respect too. If we see the old traditions..our oldies used to follow such traits.. and they expect the same from their next generation. I understand that the era has been changed totally and I neither expect from a bride to look like a pathhar ka buutt BUT.. It’s just my personal opinion that haya adds more Beauty to the bride..she looks more attractive and beautiful.
I know Its her big day and who shall enjoy more than her but then, why does it seem so cheesy when she dances and has bhangra shangra…phir bhangra bhi dalnay do na usay…bhaee baraa din hy uska…aakhir ko usay enjoy krnay ka poora haq hy…lol
Well, even if the bride and groom knew each other well before getting hitched, the hayaa-look might be pulled off if the bride is shy by nature, doesn't feel comfortable with the spotlight. Looking down at the floor ALL the time isn't a very natural pose. In our parents' time, the brides even looked down in photographs, but our generation has taken photography to another level to where looking down at the floor or being super bashful may seem a bit out of place.
I do understand where Queen is coming from though and she is right, too. Confidence can be graceful and it is....but modesty in terms of dressing/manners/speech/habits has its own grace too, especially in the more brazen times we're living in. I do agree with the 'first-dance' seeming cheesy; I find that a bit much maybe cuz I'm not used to it. Now some people might take offense to that, but our weddings have their own unique charm without having to incorporate traditions that are typical of other cultures.
I think it's often just the fact we aren't used to it..
People used to say the same sort of thing about cutting wedding cakes and of course the bride smiling used to be a massive no-no.. Many people still get funny about desi brides wearing white.. something which is becoming more common in the UK for the registry/civil wedding..
^ Bride's sister grabs the groom's finger on the mehndi day and wraps it in mehndi. The groom wants to get his finger out before the color is dark. She refuses to let go until he gives some specific sum of money. They negotiate. He is eventually released. The money is shared amongst the bride's sisters and female cousins.
Yeah I always thought the doli was for LEAVING not coming in? And literally every girl in the community that's gotten married in the past year has had a mehndi entrance with a dholi.
