Re: outing wid in-laws
^ I guess from the description, it doesn't sound like a vacation that she and hubby planned that the rest of them intruded upon. Is it? It seems more that everyone was planning it and she doesn't want to accompany them. I do feel that there are reasons she doesn't want to go that are not listed there.
I think we are all kind of not looiking at the whole situation here. Its all fine and dandy to go on vacations with your inlaws when you dont live with them. But when you are with them 24/7 iw ould imagine you would need a break, just like sometimes we need it with our parents/family. There is nothing wrong with that. And from what i understand, the original poster is looking for a time away from her usual life, with her husband only.
^ I guess from the description, it doesn't sound like a vacation that she and hubby planned that the rest of them intruded upon. Is it? It seems more that everyone was planning it and she doesn't want to accompany them. I do feel that there are reasons she doesn't want to go that are not listed there.
In view of both the explanations of the situation I will advice her to elope with her husband .
Bhurban is somewhere close to murree or isb. i think, right? anyways, either tell ur husband how u feel and see wat happens then. cuz i can imagine ppl can get very annoying esp. when they r rude.
or like someone else suggested, go with them all this time and then go for another vacation some other time with ur husband and baby only.
In view of both the explanations of the situation I will advice her to elope with her husband .
Mirch bhai kiun mirch laga rahay ho situation per :P
The MORE the MERRIER!!!
Its actually more enjoyable with family, I've been there twice, once with the Mr, and once with the entire family. It can get quite boring if theres just the 2 of u, where as if the whole family go, there's more variety, as some of u may want to play tennis, others watch a film, others roam around etc.
Also, the others can also look after your child and you are free to wander off with hubby. If u went alone u would have to mind baby all the time.
I advise u dont take the maid, bcos everyone will b cramped in one car, its not so enjoyable then. If everyone makes up their mind to enoy themselves and get into the holiday spirit, u should have a good time and notice that u wont argue.
The MORE the MERRIER!!!
Its actually more enjoyable with family, I've been there twice, once with the Mr, and once with the entire family. It can get quite boring if theres just the 2 of u, where as if the whole family go, there's more variety, as some of u may want to play tennis, others watch a film, others roam around etc.
Also, the others can also look after your child and you are free to wander off with hubby. If u went alone u would have to mind baby all the time.
I advise u dont take the maid, bcos everyone will b cramped in one car, its not so enjoyable then. If everyone makes up their mind to enoy themselves and get into the holiday spirit, u should have a good time and notice that u wont argue.
Exactly I agree.
that sounds nice actually. Going on a vacation with the whole family. Abt MIL, have some patience, she could be rude because of her health condition. Just talk to your hubby in advance and explain to him that you don't mind going with his family but also want to enjoy the trip so you want others to share the responsibility of taking care of ammi. Maybe you and hubby should take turns in pressing MIL's legs. There shouldn't be a problem. Have a great time!
at any trip only me and hubby hold her hand and give support to walk, bring meal for her n press her.my dewar doesnt do any work.
at any trip only me and hubby hold her hand and give support to walk, bring meal for her n press her.my dewar doesnt do any work.
Allah will reward you and your husband for it, but by whining you are ruining all that sawab.
You will be answerable for your actions and your dewar will be answerable for his action.
Trust me when you will need any kind of help , someone will be there for you for the reward of your naiki.
I hate to sound so blunt but... Get used to it!
They are your husbands family (your baby's grandparents/uncle)and just like you would want to spend time with your family...your husband will like to do the same. It may be troublesome for you to care for your baby, take care of your in-laws, and keep your dupatta on simultaneously but it's a sacrifice you have to make. It's not like you will be with them all your life and it's not like they will go with you everywhere all the time. Ask your husband to help you out to ease any 'burden' (which you shouldnt be feeling) you may feel. Besides it's not like this is your honeymoon! Consider it a family vacation and enjoy it.
Just be patient and do it for your husbands sake.
i dont consider them family. family is just me, hubby nd,chld.
my hubby lso care of me, help to handle child, prss mother's leg even in the car....but y only we? y not BIL??????????????
nd i know its not honeymoon....we went for umrah and dubai for honeymoon though i forced these ppl specially MIL to go with us co on that time i had no child n took care of her.
but now cant do....
hill station enjoy kerny jana hy......aahein sunnaey nahi jana.....wo b only for 3 days.
just run around them without your dupatta..maybe theyll start to stay away from you and ur husband then!..:D
its not fun n not so easy for me atleast.....coz i never ever let my dupatta down frm my head.
does nt ur dewar lives in ur house wat do you then?its just dupatta not taking it off wont be a problem,as far as ur mil is concern give poor lady a break shes paralyzed.but seems like u really dont wanna go then u shuld tell ur husband honestly coz even if somehow u go ur gonna ruin their vacations.
i ve already said its not just DUPATTA for me...its whole thing.
shes paralyzed.....but where is her bemari when she doesnt care abt anything, itni kerwi baatein sunnatien hein mujhy, servants ko, apny hubby ko aur even apni bhoori saas ko.
my MIL traveled around the world<USA,UK,GERMANY,JAPAN,france,etc n not only few days but for months.bhurban is not a big place for her but in all her travelling She never ever asked her saas to go with them.....n my FIL is only son of her mother.
Exactly!!!
Well said.
I was going to say same thing,
Yess tell eveything to your husband to arrange things which are comfortable for you to enjoy.
I you saas say something then bardasht karain aur sabr kar lain aur ignore karain aur mazay urain.
I know when someone give you hard time also try to avoid to ppl who are rude to me. I can understand you position but sure you will enjoy more.
i aready had many trips with them...i dont think so that i will enjoy.....zabardasti muskranna pary ga.
i dont consider them family. family is just me, hubby nd,chld.
..do u actually say this in front of ur husband?..and if u do he dosnt mind?..if not ur LUCKY!..but this is RARE..
that sounds like fun :) I wouldnt mind a trip away like that. Reminds me of my trips to murree with the whole khandan...
Why do u need a maid to press ur MIL's legs? I think it's sweeter if her kids** (including urself) would do that for her. Maybe she'd be a lot nicer than? **
Enjoy it... you can go away with ur hubby and daughter urself some other time.. enjoy the time you have with the family. You'll miss is later... just imagine.. if u have a son/daughter and they grow up.. wouldnt u want to go away on a family holiday with them too?
i m not her child....apni maa he apni hoti hy.
i m, only daughter of my parents n 3 bros...my MIL never even felt my problem.
apny betay ko prob ho to yeh hogaya wo hogaya.....mey bemmar hoon to kisi ko habar b nahi hoti...coz my family is out of city.
that sounds like fun :) I wouldnt mind a trip away like that. Reminds me of my trips to murree with the whole khandan...
Why do u need a maid to press ur MIL's legs? I think it's sweeter if her kids (including urself) would do that for her. Maybe she'd be a lot nicer than?
Enjoy it... you can go away with ur hubby and daughter urself some other time.. enjoy the time you have with the family. You'll miss is later... *just imagine.. if u have a son/daughter and they grow up.. wouldnt u want to go away on a family holiday with them too?
*
i would not go with them to ruin their vacations if i m unable to take care of myself.......and not even emotional blackmail them as my MIL usually does.
Zabardast last paragraph.
Think if you are in place of your MIL.
I of my sisters MIL use to give her hard time all the time I said bardasht karo aur sabr karo Allah iska achcha sila aapko dayga.
Kia pata aap ka dimagh kia ho jaay burhapay main to aapki bahoo bhi aap ki batain bardasht kar kay aap kay liaay karay gi.
I also told her that wo kitnay arsay buchchain gi chund saal bardasht kar lain phir to sari zindagi aap ki ho gi aur aap enjoy karain gi.
Yayhi huwa now her MIL & FIL are dead now she is masha Allah enjoying her life.
I told her its your opporunity to make your value in Allah's eye so avail it.
Now I'm too happy she did well and now she is so happy. Masha Allah.
Aap daikhiaay ga aap ko maza ziada aay ga mushilaat ki nisbaat.
Hamari duain bhi aap kay saath hon gi Allah aap ko khoob enjoy kerwaay aur muskilon say bachaay aur khairiaat kay saath ponhchay aur ghar wapis laay.
kiya pata us se pehly MIL mera dimmagh harab ker chuki ho aur mujhy qabar mey pehly jana per jye....
u know sumtimes i wish to die.
Re: outing wid in-laws
Well if you don't think it can be an enjoyable trip then maybe you should talk with your husband.
^ I guess from the description, it doesn't sound like a vacation that she and hubby planned that the rest of them intruded upon. Is it? It seems more that everyone was planning it and she doesn't want to accompany them. I do feel that there are reasons she doesn't want to go that are not listed there.
yes i dont want to go with them i want to make my own plan with my small family.
The MORE the MERRIER!!!
Its actually more enjoyable with family, I've been there twice, once with the Mr, and once with the entire family. It can get quite boring if theres just the 2 of u, where as if the whole family go, there's more variety, as some of u may want to play tennis, others watch a film, others roam around etc.
Also, the others can also look after your child and you are free to wander off with hubby. If u went alone u would have to mind baby all the time.
I advise u dont take the maid, bcos everyone will b cramped in one car, its not so enjoyable then. If everyone makes up their mind to enoy themselves and get into the holiday spirit, u should have a good time and notice that u wont argue.
i dont want compny of patients and kaam chor.
i dont like all these games i m very boring person.
my baby is attached only with me...no one can handle him....ager BIL ko kaho jao isko khila lao..to rula k lay ata hy.usko kaam chori k bahany chahiye.
i know i can enjoy in group ....but not atleast with THIS group.
..do u actually say this in front of ur husband?..and if u do he dosnt mind?..if not ur LUCKY!..but this is RARE..
yes i can say him.....nd he also see the difference
if im quite so its bcoz of FIL......coz he cares alot