we have a plan 2 go 2 bhurban, me, hubby, MIL,FIL,dewar and driver n my 1 year old baby.my MIL is paralyzed but she can walk llil bit with support.
she also dont bother of any1, talk rudely with her saas (my dadi saas).
in short i dont wanna go with them, the i said i wanted my maid lil grl to go with us so that she can press my MIL. coz she cannot travel too long.but now dewar dont want this coz of car’s capacity n he cant sit with maid at back of car…
and also we take 2 rooms with one door joined, but in the presence of dewar i dont take off my dupatta so it means i cant enjoy well.
Very complicated problem. Adhi toh samajh he nahi aa-e. Can you post it in roman Urdu or roman Punjabi ?
For now without understanding the problem I will say:
Let them go to Bahrain and you go to Bahamas or Tahiti.
lol
i wouldnt go. Or tell your hubby that you'd like to go on a trip with him alone so you 2 can spend time together. Or make it clear that if you go, on the trip he needs to give you time alone, not the whole family...so you can go out and do your own thing. the parents have the dewar to hang out with so it should be fine.e
Very complicated problem. Adhi toh samajh he nahi aa-e. Can you post it in roman Urdu or roman Punjabi ?
For now without understanding the problem I will say:
Let them go to Bahrain and you go to Bahamas or Tahiti.
that sounds nice actually. Going on a vacation with the whole family. Abt MIL, have some patience, she could be rude because of her health condition. Just talk to your hubby in advance and explain to him that you don't mind going with his family but also want to enjoy the trip so you want others to share the responsibility of taking care of ammi. Maybe you and hubby should take turns in pressing MIL's legs. There shouldn't be a problem. Have a great time!
I think you're making too big a deal out of it. It sounds nice. Of course you make adjustments when you're away from home and traveling with others. But you'll gain a lot with your time spent together.
does nt ur dewar lives in ur house wat do you then?its just dupatta not taking it off wont be a problem,as far as ur mil is concern give poor lady a break shes paralyzed.but seems like u really dont wanna go then u shuld tell ur husband honestly coz even if somehow u go ur gonna ruin their vacations.
They are your husbands family (your baby's grandparents/uncle)and just like you would want to spend time with your family...your husband will like to do the same. It may be troublesome for you to care for your baby, take care of your in-laws, and keep your dupatta on simultaneously but it's a sacrifice you have to make. It's not like you will be with them all your life and it's not like they will go with you everywhere all the time. Ask your husband to help you out to ease any 'burden' (which you shouldnt be feeling) you may feel. Besides it's not like this is your honeymoon! Consider it a family vacation and enjoy it.
that sounds nice actually. Going on a vacation with the whole family. Abt MIL, have some patience, she could be rude because of her health condition. Just talk to your hubby in advance and explain to him that you don't mind going with his family but also want to enjoy the trip so you want others to share the responsibility of taking care of ammi. Maybe you and hubby should take turns in pressing MIL's legs. There shouldn't be a problem. Have a great time!
Exactly!!!
Well said.
I was going to say same thing,
Yess tell eveything to your husband to arrange things which are comfortable for you to enjoy.
I you saas say something then bardasht karain aur sabr kar lain aur ignore karain aur mazay urain.
I know when someone give you hard time also try to avoid to ppl who are rude to me. I can understand you position but sure you will enjoy more.
that sounds like fun :) I wouldnt mind a trip away like that. Reminds me of my trips to murree with the whole khandan...
Why do u need a maid to press ur MIL's legs? I think it's sweeter if her kids (including urself) would do that for her. Maybe she'd be a lot nicer than?
Enjoy it... you can go away with ur hubby and daughter urself some other time.. enjoy the time you have with the family. You'll miss is later... just imagine.. if u have a son/daughter and they grow up.. wouldnt u want to go away on a family holiday with them too?
These two trips were amazing. I had so much fun, and it helped definitely to break the ice between me and my BIL. We played games on the car rides, went to see lots of great sights, met new people, checked out potential jehtannis , etc. Just be open to sharing this time with them. Explain to your husband any concerns you have, but also remember that this is YOUR family too.
that sounds like fun :) I wouldnt mind a trip away like that. Reminds me of my trips to murree with the whole khandan...
Why do u need a maid to press ur MIL's legs? I think it's sweeter if her kids (including urself) would do that for her. Maybe she'd be a lot nicer than?
Enjoy it... you can go away with ur hubby and daughter urself some other time.. enjoy the time you have with the family. You'll miss is later... just imagine.. if u have a son/daughter and they grow up.. wouldnt u want to go away on a family holiday with them too?
Zabardast last paragraph.
Think if you are in place of your MIL.
I of my sisters MIL use to give her hard time all the time I said bardasht karo aur sabr karo Allah iska achcha sila aapko dayga.
Kia pata aap ka dimagh kia ho jaay burhapay main to aapki bahoo bhi aap ki batain bardasht kar kay aap kay liaay karay gi.
I also told her that wo kitnay arsay buchchain gi chund saal bardasht kar lain phir to sari zindagi aap ki ho gi aur aap enjoy karain gi.
Yayhi huwa now her MIL & FIL are dead now she is masha Allah enjoying her life.
I told her its your opporunity to make your value in Allah's eye so avail it.
Now I'm too happy she did well and now she is so happy. Masha Allah.
Aap daikhiaay ga aap ko maza ziada aay ga mushilaat ki nisbaat.
Hamari duain bhi aap kay saath hon gi Allah aap ko khoob enjoy kerwaay aur muskilon say bachaay aur khairiaat kay saath ponhchay aur ghar wapis laay.
Very complicated problem. Adhi toh samajh he nahi aa-e. Can you post it in roman Urdu or roman Punjabi ?
For now without understanding the problem I will say:
Let them go to Bahrain and you go to Bahamas or Tahiti.
I think we are all kind of not looiking at the whole situation here. Its all fine and dandy to go on vacations with your inlaws when you dont live with them. But when you are with them 24/7 iw ould imagine you would need a break, just like sometimes we need it with our parents/family. There is nothing wrong with that. And from what i understand, the original poster is looking for a time away from her usual life, with her husband only.
, etc. Just be open to sharing this time with them. Explain to your husband any concerns you have, but also remember that this is YOUR family too.