Name some things you have experienced/seen that may seem too ot of the bookish or obsessive but not necessarily beneficial for kids…
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
Like letting them crying it out at night...
Or letting you kids or their routine be flexible.
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
Not chittar maaring when they are completely out of hand 
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
Oh Niksik I believe in the "jhoota maaring from across the room" parenting :D
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
I love you njgal 
But I would never do that…I do believe in the occasional butt spank once in a while 
. I don’t "politely and calmy explaining to you child till you run out of juice from your vocal cords and your heard starts aching with build up works all the time.
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
Lets never say never until our girls reach the "teenage" years.
(I think I am going to run outta shoes to throw)
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
hahah!!
**lot of parents ask their children to go to their romm to study and turn off the music or the TV. but guess what? i've two nieces and a nephew...they all studied in the living room, watching TV and talking to people in the room and again guess what? my oldest neice always scored above 94% and is now a medical doctor, my nephew has been scoring above 95% and he is on his way to become a doctor as well, insha Allah, and the baby of the house has an average above 87% in grade 12 and she is gonna become a Psychologist, iA.
so, a kid who wants to study can study any way he/she wants to...u don't have to seclude them from the rest of the world or ask them not to go to a birthday party b4 exam and all that crap. and a kid who doesn't want to study will NOT study no matter what.
my bro studied in the village with no electricity, no running water and no fridge or stove. my brothers studied infront of lanterns and candles and he achieved what he set out to. he is a math prof here in canada and my other bro is a Lecturer in English in India.
**
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
^ very true! and in fact, sending them off to their rooms in this day and age doesn’t mean much when there’s usually a tv or a computer in there, plus they have their phones that can do everything but slice bread 
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
Something that really bothers me is how over-scheduled kids are today. In our area at least. The psycho-babble of the day is to "socialize" your child. From the time a child is 18 months old, parents are expected to go to mommy-and-me classes, bubble-babies swim classes, schedule "playdates". From there, we move on to nursery school from age 2. More playdates. Big, expensive birthday parties. Once kindergarten starts, add to all of the above karate lessons, more playdates, piano, dance, soccer. Kids are scheduled almost every minute of the day and evening.
when I was a kid, I went outside. We created our own games, built our own fort with scrap wood and a bit of help from dad. We had SO much more fun I think than kids today.
**
exactly…u’ve to trust ur child if he says he is NOT in a mood to study and let him choose his own time N place and keep an eye on his/her grades…if he is getting what he is suppose to get [according to his ability, and u can establish that pretty quickly that what he/she is capable of], if not then enforce rules.
i used to hate when i was in the univ [and my folks wud tell me do this, do that; don’t do this, don’t do that] i absolutely hated that. i told my bro once that yes i made horrible mistakes in life but now i’m sincere with my studies so plz let me do it the way i like to do and when i’m ready for it…he is a wise guy, he agreed and alHamdolillah he never was never unhappy with me again. thanx to Allah…everything worked out well…
so, enforcing rules and does and don’ts don’t work…u’ve to trust ur kid in the beginning and then take up the case as the situation may warrant. u build up the trust.**
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
I was always doing my work with the tv, phone, and tons of relatives surrounding me. I actually had a hard time adjusting to quiet in college!
I mashAllah always did well in school.
But it depends on the person. My brothers could not handle having those kinds of distractions.
Something that really bothers me is how over-scheduled kids are today. In our area at least. The psycho-babble of the day is to "socialize" your child. From the time a child is 18 months old, parents are expected to go to mommy-and-me classes, bubble-babies swim classes, schedule "playdates". From there, we move on to nursery school from age 2. More playdates. Big, expensive birthday parties. Once kindergarten starts, add to all of the above karate lessons, more playdates, piano, dance, soccer. Kids are scheduled almost every minute of the day and evening.
when I was a kid, I went outside. We created our own games, built our own fort with scrap wood and a bit of help from dad. We had SO much more fun I think than kids today.
but it doesn't have to be like that if the parents wanted... am i right? or is it pressure from society?
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
that whole organic-feeding thing....super expensive foods, no plastic bottles iwth the #7 (uh?) etc.
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
^ true! i wonder how far is too far, esp. considering how pricey organic stuff is!
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
All a bunch of bs, this organic stuff. If you really want organic, you need to look for certified organic. Anyway, there’s no need to get to hifi.
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
^ so its a marketing gimmick, there's no benefits to going organic?
i'd go as far as using BPA-free bottles, the ones that don't contain the harmful plastics or whatever, but i need to do more research into this organic stuff.
what about letting your kids only play with all-natural wooden/bamboo toys painted with vegetable dyes, instead of those mass-produced, made-in-china, branded toys?
i kinda like the idea of letting kids run free and use their imagination but the other day i was shopping for hubby's niece for xmas, and all those barbies and my little pony's just pulled me in, toxic paint, gender stereotypes, imagination-limiting toys and all! haha
then again, i do like the idea of teaching kids about being environmentally responsible and playing with toys that are made from ecologically-grown rubberwood and/or bamboo.
confused!
Oh Niksik I believe in the "jhoota maaring from across the room" parenting :D
I talked about it on GS some months ago.
When I was young, my mom was the president of 'jhoota maaring from across the room parenting' club. One day she threw her shoe at me, I dodged it, instead of hitting me, shoe hit the glass front decoration cabinet (curio cabinet type) and it shattered the whole glass. I was beaten later on for not letting the flying shoe hit me and to dodge it. True story.
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
^ bwahahahah! thats priceless!
Re: Out of the book and other obsessive ways of taking care of children
:D
SGC, I was talking to someone in the industry and they educated me on this organic hype...well there's no harm in buying organic but again, if you want something that's truly organic, you need to look for the "certified" symbol. The thing is that you could have an organic strawberry farm but right next to it could be a waste dump where the garbage seeps into your farm via the soil...so you do get some contamination. The certified dudes are careful about industrial waste and what's around them for miles.
However, the regular fruits and vegetables that we get at a produce market are pretty good and affordable. We should just try to buy weekly instead of stocking up fruits for a month to get the maximum benefit.
Now regarding the natural toys...again no harm, but why make your child so "different." Are we going to stop our kids from playing with their friend's toys? What about at school?