Pakistan is not a very old country. Upon it's independence it really was a generally peaceful country which was considered a safe haven by all the Pakistanis who migrated. That generation of Pakistanis were not only thankful but determined to make it work and hold on to cultural values, tradition and religion. The thing is though that every next generation is different from the previous one and since technology has progressed so much the world has become much more connected globally. A lot of things you mentioned that your parents told you were true when I was living in Pakistan (in my own little world). I moved to Canada when I was 14 and comparing myself to my younger siblings I do feel that I was more educated about religion at their age and small things like that. However, I am more open to the idea of change. I know when I go back it will be a completely different world for me but my parents fail to accept that still. During their childhood Pakistan was even more different. I think we have great representation of the changes in society and community in the media (i.e. Pakistani shows). I am a big fan of Pakistani dramas especially the ones that represent our society in a realistic way. I have watched very old dramas like ankahi, tanhaayian as well and I do really see a difference in culture, opinions, views and even relationships. An example of the change is that while I was living in Pakistan as a teenager I remember seeing girls being shunned and criticized for wearing western clothing even if it was just very baggy pants and a t-shirt. It really was expected that after a certain age girls should only wear shalwar kameez. Now on facebook I see the same people, who were involved in criticizing, wearing skin tight leggings and skinny jeans without an issue. So yes, as someone mentioned above when people leave they assume that the time stopped and nothing changed. Every society has flaws but the increase in the number of flaws in Pakistan is probably due to the increasing political and social issues that people are facing.
To be honest I have actually experienced the exact opposite after having moved here. People here criticize Pakistan as if it is hell on earth. They rave about North America and these goras and how amazing they are. They tell their kids Pakistan is all corrupt and everyone is uneducated and an idiot. It makes me very sad when I hear things like that because I loved my time in Pakistan and I am quite attached to the country.
Pakistanis in general are very money orientated and ate crude about it. Most Pakistanis whether here or abroad want much more than a comfortable, upper class life. Of course, there are exceptions but you know what I mean. Sadly, many non Pakistanis are like that but at least are not crude to your face about it. I agree about the racist part too ( blacks and Pakistanis) but goras are increasingly becoming more racist.
I thought healthcare would be subsidized in the Netherlands, it's not?
I think this time warp that desi people in foreign countries are is what is to blame.
Pakistan is what you make of if. For me its about fun, family, having a relaxing holiday
I think the problem lies specifically with the parents and not Pakistan. I see a lot of negativity here about Pakistan and a need to prove that people by virtue of being abroad are somehow better
It used to be easy to see which era Pakistanis settled abroad (internet has helped tremendously to eliminate that) because they were mentally stuck in that era and don't realize the Pakistan they came from had ceased to exist. My parents did a stint abroad for education and their closest friends were all Muslims but they couldn't develop close relationships with the local Pakistani community. The Pakistanis were trying to keep Pakistani ideals that my parents had not experienced before. They were anti-education and anti-progress (like learning English was bad???) which didn't make sense because you're in a different country to make a better life, right? Why take two steps backwards and make your life difficult and not equip your children with the tools to be successful citizens.
I thought healthcare would be subsidized in the Netherlands, it's not?
Healthcare in the Netherlands is becoming more and more expensive. It began years ago, when the government basically said 'we wash our hands from it'. And now we have economic problems, so we have to pay an extra sum ourselves. That becomes difficult at times when you are between jobs for example. Statistics indicate that poverty has increased here as well as households able to pay for healthcare.
Pakistan is neither positive nor negative. It depends on the people. There are always positive or negative people in any country. There are people that actually love Somalia. SOMALIA. Think about it, you make your home where ever but depends on who you ask.
I think people do get wrong information fed by desi parents and that may not be their fault. Specially when someone move directly from rural part of Pakistan to a western capital. The life in remote rural parts and even small cities of Pakistan is no where same compared to major cities of Pakistan.
That's where the one sided ultra pure image comes into play even that's not perfect but parents wish try to induct this imbalanced view to children minds.
Plus 30/40 years back those villages/ cities not same now when parents moved to west and kept that ideal image intact.
That's sad chochocho22, it sounds even worse than my life, though there are similarities we have many differences (I do have a driving licence and some friends for example, Im 39 and from a different generation, so no internet and thus no facebook arguments during my teens and more differences). I hope you find stability and happiness. Surround yourself with the right people, if you find them. Give them a chance and you'll find out that they aren't all terrible people. You are so young and it's sad to have this outlook on life already.
For a change, quite an interesting thread. Well I came to the US as a student in 2000. Now that I have kids here, I try NOT to tell any thing about Pakistan rather let them experience it through media or by taking when ever I can.
No, I'm not offended and wasn't giving you a complete life advice. From your words it seems you feel lonely, so that's why having people in your life who are good for you can help. They can offer better advice because when they are near you, they see your life and talk to you regularly so they understand your problems and can help your better than online people like me. I can't just tell you to move away, you said you're in Pakistan now. I don't know what kind of family you have, but many of our desi females get in serious trouble by leaving their family.
If you were in Europe or the US, you'd have more safe and more secure options to move away. Even then it's still difficult. I live in the Netherlands and still got in serious trouble after moving away from my entire family, even though that was definitely the right decision in my case. I don't know enough about you to say you should do the same. Please don't make any decision of that kind before thinking carefully.
(I took my children and moved away even from my parents, it happened many years ago when my children were just toddlers, my family found me anyway and didn't leave me alone as long as I didn't move back in the same town as them where I am living nowadays, I was even threatened yet all I did was take my children and go far away to a shelter for females, so moving away from your family should be planned correctly and you have to be sure that it's the only solution, it took me a long time to finally just doing it, but you make many sacrifices and you have to be sure this is the only option and you really want to do it, in our culture moving away from you family isn't something you take lightly when you are a female!)
That's strange. I wonder why you were blocked. Now my answers are still there to non existing posts. Oh well, I hope you did feel better after sharing some of your troubles and that you come away with something useful or at least feeling a little better.
Problem is parents who immigrated to the UK 30-40 yeras ago still beleives pakistan is the way they left it. They think children marry on parents choice without questioning. They think children dont argue with parents and just nod their head. They think guys dont go out late at night and they think girls are all cooking expert and look after the house.
I married in pakistan and after 2 years i realize hoe much pakistani have much changed their mentality for their kids unlike most immigrants.
That's true. Things evolved in many places in Pakistan, while the people who left those places before the changes took place are stuck in the customs and tradtions of the era when they left.
The only thing that you can do is learn (great thing in the west) and become different yourself. I guess that I take it lightly that my parents have been laissez faire compared to a lot of parents discussed who just seemed to have come from villages in Pakistan unlike my city background.
I have seen this kala racism even in jokes and to their credit, people that I know have changed themselves when I reminded them that character is most important. Heck, if I have a daughter and she wants to marry a darker individual, I would look at his character and the fact that he is a good muslim. If I may generalize, I have met many nice somali people and they are black.