What do you guys do when other people, namely grandparents or aunties etc give your little one food you do not want them to have, such as ice cream/cake…my daughters only 7months old, and they are giving her little tastes of ice creama nd biuts of cake, and then little bits of chicken pulao etc itsss annoyinggg, i do not want her having any at all, shes only little, ok so they not feeding her more than a teaspoon, but itsss really taking the p**** i think, esp when they dont even ask the parents…what do u do, and is this gonna harm her in anyway, i cant stand it. CANT EVEN say anything, of course they know its bad for her…and the usual retort is well i fed my own children such and such and they ok arent they…
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
They will continue doing it... U can ask them but not all understand... It all does boil down to "we raised kids too" ...
Honestly. A spoon here and there wont kill ure child...
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
Khawa's right, it won't hurt her, most likely BUT
Not tracking what she's being introduced to carefully can make identifying allergies very difficult. Also most doctors say to wait until 10-12 months for introducing dairy.
I dealt with this too, nadz. When Ammi did it, I was very firm with her. When MIL did it, hubby was very clear with her about how he felt (and he's more paranoid and careful than I am). They still do it sometimes, but they are more careful.
I think the more flexible and accepting you are, the more boundaries they will push. You and hubby need to be on the same page, and enforce it. Have regular visits with the pediatrician and determine whose advice you are going to follow and stick with it as best as you can. And while this really matters to you, you need to be the one putting in all the time and effort with your daughter. If you're not supervising, they're not going to follow your rules.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
Welcome to desi world Nadz.
Pretty soon they will feed her honey and if you tell them that it can make her sick , then they will look at you like you are mental patient. Kids in desi culture are community property and they do it all out of their love for you and your baby , they mean no harm , but inadvertently they can cause lot of harm to a baby.
How to deal with it all ? I do not know you will get some good advise soon.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvve feeding my nieces and nephew...just love it.
BUT
If I feed them sweets its usually stuff I know they give the kids and never behind their back or without telling them. If they are alone with me, they rarely get sweets. If I had kids, I'd want to know what they were consuming...Ive dealt with a boatload of allergies so I am a bit sensitive to this.
Oh and I never feed them things I think they've not yet tried.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
be firm and tell them she's senstive to certain foods and comes out in a rash or some blag like that..
i'm a bit rude like that and i'll say it on people's faces politely to not feed my child as it will spoil her dinner/shes a fusser eater/her teeth will rot! Your child your rules...
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
with the ice cream- its literally her licking the spoon, so they not feeding as such, but its enough for her to get a taste.....whatever it is, i dont like it.
with the sweet stuff, i said yday to my sil not to give it, she still carried on infront of me and gave her 2 more times and then she put the plate away......i told my husband to be firm now cos sil obv wont listen to me or will get offended if i keep saying it...best coming from her own brother.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
extra aunties, I'd be careful with but dada, dadi, nana, nani, chacha, khala etc, I would not mind. If they are feeding something that I think can be harmful for kids, I'll let them know but I wont stop them from feeding my kids.
To give you and example, bagel and cream-cheese is my song's fav breakfast/snack. You give him that 3 times a day and he will not complain but with that he gains weight quickly so we control over creme-cheese but when dada/dadi or nana/nana are visiting us, they melt when he does a request for bagle and cream cheese. I have caught dada/poota @ Tim Hortons many times eating that. What we do? we control other intakes of him for 2-3 months grand parents are visiting us. Its their little moments, let them have it :)
Sure they are your kids, but even animals live,eat in groups. You are just making your life more difficult.
and yes if kids are allergic to something, you can tell other people upfront that it will put kid's health/life in danger.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
Just make sure you start brushing her teeth as soon as they erupt to prevent decay, but only use a smear of toothpaste.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
I hear you. She's your child and you have the right to choose what she should eat and not eat. But desis see it diffrently, saying no, dadi/ phoppi loves the kid so she has the right to feed the baby what she wants and she has raised kids herself-- blah blah blah!! As if food is the only way you can show love.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
^ There is indeed something very beautiful and warm about feeding children with your own hands, at least in our culture.
Honestly sometimes I hate how some confused ABCD mothers doubt and loath every other person and relative's intention and action even if they have the best intentions about their children and its so bleeding obvious that they're in love with your child. I hope there was a way of not giving a sh!t about such mothers and their babies, and just ignore their existence like anything.
I was fed by hundred different hands and I'm absolutely proud of it. I hope my child is also lucky enough to experience such attention and love.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
my daughters only 7months old, and they are giving her little tastes of ice creama nd biuts of cake, and then little bits of chicken pulao etc itsss annoyinggg
And why is it annoying? Why cant they do that?
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
because i dnt want her eating any thing thats sugary, or too salty shes not even 1yrs old...
for eg- today i mashed up some potatoe for her, i left the room and came back and daddi was giving it to her, now thats fine.however later she said `ohhh itna peeka tha, maine ussmein salt add kiya pir, thora sa....#
i found that out of order, how does a baby know whats peeka, she will eat it if u give it to her, why add salt and encourage her to eat salt....
she has constipation too, and ive told dadda not to give her bananas, what does he do- he gives her bananas every day.....for gods sake why dnt they liosten, i cant even say anything to them i did say she has constpation pls dnt give her bananas, he said ohuu kch nahi hota and carried on....
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
The constipation is bad news, and I do hope your daughter recovers from it. My daughter has a chronic problem and it is really terrible. If stopping bananas will solve the issue, then that's great. Check about aloo and rice too. Sometimes those can be constipating.
I agree that if they are fine without salt, there is no need to add it. I would give it peeka first. Then if needed add a little salt to season. But keep it under control.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
You should give him opium in milk for three days , that will cause him severe constipation and that will teach him how constipation hurts. When My daughter was baby her pediatrician had to give her a prescription medicine to treat her constipation. 
at dada abba.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
WOW so much anger!
To answer your question, and please don’t let your hatred for nadz/ABCDs cloud your judgment, but how much “in love” do you think those relatives are when they don’t care if the kid has constipation or not? Stuff like that doesn’t sound like care ot me, sounds like they just want to do what they want to do and it’s an offense to their egos that they can’t just feed someone whatever they want.
Seriously, it has nothing to do with being ABCD or not and if ABCD mothers are “confused” then people back home don’t care about a mother. How’s that for a ridciulous generalization? 
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
^ Just to add to that, what's the rush? If there is a risk to giving the child something without some consideration? Or if all that is being given to the child is junk, why give it to her, especially when she is soooo sensitive. She has a lifetime to make bad food decisions, to eat junk, to experiment. Why not systematically introduce healthy foods? Why not help her to develop a palate that appreciates healthy foods? Why not think before offering an infant something in order to understand her reaction to it?
Love is not an excuse.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
WOW…Hatred for Nadz? ROFL Errr calm down, this is just an internet forum and hatred is too strong of an emotion to be felt for a random person in cyber world.
You do realize that information about constipation was added later? If thats the case than in her laws are completely wrong, but if just a case of confused ABCD mothers feeling overly suspicious and loathing anyone who comes a foot close to their babies than they’re just sad bunch of losers. It just hurts their ego to see someone else taking a so called control over their child. Read her OP again, and you can easily get the impression she’s just having another one of her I can’t stand my SIL/MIL fit, which is sadly often the case of some idiotic desi yet I’m not desi women in the name of ‘modern’ parenting. Yes in twenty/thirty years time all these ‘oh we hate desi aunts’ will moan when their children will say that your style of parenting is backward, unsympathetic and oh so dangerous, just like our grandparents style of parenting was considered backward in our mothers time. Can anyone here gurantee that they would never ever repeat the age old saying ‘oh beta thats how I used to do it when you were young’ when your children become parents, would you like being looked down and having people in up in arms over this?
Yes this whole melodramatic dogma about my child my child is my child is nauseating, the child is at the end of the day is also a part of the family, you are living in a fools world if you think you can just show middle finger to the dada daddi, nana nani, puhpo, khala mamoo. They have every right to contribute to your child’s development and have their little moments.
Having said that, nadz’ in laws are at completely wrong end here, but this just my issue with confused abd self hating desis who just like a to make a big deal out of everything.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
Jolie, do you have any kids? I have a 1 year old and i sometimes get annoyed with my OWN mother. I know she means well, bless her but i've told her soo many times not give my little girl chocolate but she says a little won't hurt and that we all had it when we were little. She also puts sugar in her cereal which i don't like and gives her tea. I know she means well but i don't want my little one to develop a taste for only sweet stuff.
But i have 2 options either don't say anything to my mum and let baby's teeth rot or gently try and pursuade my mum to stop. The thing is that when its your mum you can say don't do it but when it's your MIL it just builds up inside.
My MIL is great apart from when she takes my baby out in the garden for long periods without a jumper...it's cold in the UK and i will be the one dealing with a sick child if she catches a cold not MIL. i will be the one who takes her to the doctor not MIL and i will be the one who will have to take time off work to look after her not MIL. So please my lovely MIL don't take her in the garden without a jumper/jacket....please.
Re: other people giving ur child sweet food?
Jolie, do you have any kids? I have a 1 year old and i sometimes get annoyed with my OWN mother. I know she means well, bless her but i've told her soo many times not give my little girl chocolate but she says a little won't hurt and that we all had it when we were little. She also puts sugar in her cereal which i don't like and gives her tea. I know she means well but i don't want my little one to develop a taste for only sweet stuff.
But i have 2 options either don't say anything to my mum and let baby's teeth rot or gently try and pursuade my mum to stop. The thing is that when its your mum you can say don't do it but when it's your MIL it just builds up inside.
My MIL is great apart from when she takes my baby out in the garden for long periods without a jumper...it's cold in the UK and i will be the one dealing with a sick child if she catches a cold not MIL. i will be the one who takes her to the doctor not MIL and i will be the one who will have to take time off work to look after her not MIL. So please my lovely MIL don't take her in the garden without a jumper/jacket....please.
No I don't but I've been at a receiving from my sisters/cousins who mashAllah have kids. You mothers don't realize but sometime your snappy, disrespectful attitude and behaviour can seriously hurt the other person who has nothing but all the best intentions for your child. And its not a good thing. Because your behaviour too can lead to a build up in other person, which will not help you in either short or long term. You may get some points for following parenting books but you lose so much respect as a person.
I think thats just my personal experience maybe not all mothers act and sound like total b**tch.