Just a question!
Suppose a girl’s parents want her to marry her cousin,but,she has no feelings for him,and can’t even imagine living her life with him.And she knows that,if she finds some other good guy,her parents would accept her choice.But how does a girl go about in searching someone.What are options for her?
Re: Options for a girl
nuffin just marry that guy...aray this proposal comes from ALLAH,,,JUST EXCEPT...PYAR TO Ho hi jayga..INSHALLAH
Re: Options for a girl
^ But the thing is that she can't accept that.What other options are there,to search someone good and decent?
Re: Options for a girl
How old is the girl? Does she go to a university? Affiliated with any social circle or local masjid/group....those are great ways to meet people on your own. She can also ask her parents to look for other rishthas, shouldnt have to be stuck on cousin or find your own.
Another way is ask friends/family etc....about if they know of a possible candidate intersted in marraige :)
Re: Options for a girl
^ Okay,lets say she is above 20,and she works in an office.She's a calm and quiet type,so she isn't affiliated with any social circle,etc.And her parents aren't looking for any other rishtas other than the cousin.
Re: Options for a girl
She should have enough guts to convey that to her parents instead of start searching by herself and end up with a total jerk.
Re: Options for a girl
^ But the thing is that,the parents think they won't be able to find anyone else other than that cousin!
Re: Options for a girl
m sure ur parents r not in a hurry ask them to give u sum tym like a month or 2 i knopw jab itne saal me nahi mila tu 2 months me kia milega just ask ho sakta he mil jae n n the meantym u tryna get to know ur cousin in a bf hubby way or point of view mayb ull think ke yehi he woh :)
Re: Options for a girl
Tell your parents that unless they get a-looking, they should get used to having you around the house.
Seriously.
Re: Options for a girl
You have every right to say NO to the guy you are not attracted too, even physically.
Just be firm.
Re: Options for a girl
Yeah,but how to go about in searching someone serious?
Re: Options for a girl
What about asking an Imam to search for you? Some Alims are supposedly quite good at it.
^ But the thing is that,the parents think they won't be able to find anyone else other than that cousin!
they "think" based on what? Have they tried looking elsewhere?
Yeah,but how to go about in searching someone serious?
You can not let fear drive you. If not attracted say NO!!!! Have faith things would come together.
they "think" based on what? Have they tried looking elsewhere?
Because when she says to her parents that she will not marry her cousin,her parents would say how can they go about searching someone else for her!
Re: Options for a girl
yar u cnt find good 1....so just trust ur parents...or tell them find another guy for u
Re: Options for a girl
lol. you are measuring oceans depth while standing on the shore.
well as ppl say...all men are same so chances are before marriage you wont feel anything for any men.
Re: Options for a girl
^^ Exactly.
Because when she says to her parents that she will not marry her cousin,her parents would say how can they go about searching someone else for her!
I think the parents are just using that as an excuse, the engagement has probably been planned for years and they don't want to look for anyone else. I think she should tell them that one of her friends may know a potential rishta (be very sketchy with details) gauge their reaction and ascertain as to whether she really has a choice.
Re: Options for a girl
If you cannot imagine living with him as your partner for life, under no circumstances give in to the pressure to marry him. It is YOU, not your parents, who will have to deal with that choice every day forever.
As for meeting people, I think you've gotten some good suggestions so far. You will need to become a little more outgoing. You will also need to find a way to be friendly with boys without feeling you are flirting. It can be very hard for conservative girls. Get involved in volunteer organizations, or other activities that YOU are interested in. You are more likely to meet someone who shares your interests in this manner. You might even consider taking a course or two. Attend events at local universities that cater to the community, celebrate holidays, etc.