My Cousin is Engaged since last one year , the individuals (Couple) is ok with each others , they are communicating well on Phone , chatting and Letters.
But I am insisting their Elders not to prolong the time Spane for being Engaged.
As I think , there should be some time for being engaged, the families to know each others and the Couple to get aquantance with each others and judge theirselves wether they match for long run, but it should not prolonged say more than one year.
there is no optimum time, but engagements should be short! if prolonged oftenly end up being broken.
reason as time passes, people on both sides become more critical analysts, while these issues may be very small ones, oftenly blown out of proportion. tolerance levels are lower as compared to married life so its very easily broken.
Most engagement periods last a year in our family. It gives time for the fiance and fiancee to get to know one another better (and their families), make all the necessary wedding arrangements (venues, catering, clothes), fix a suitable date (this can take ages), time to save up some money, buy property etc if need be. Heck, even all these arrangements can take years.
Is it not better to have a longer engagement period than say marrying and God forbid finding out that one is not compatible with their spouse?
I would say a year is good unless there are other conflicting issues which need to be taken into consideration i.e. personal/family circumstances and studies.
From personal expereince, I think an year is long enough for an engagement. After a while, people start to poke their noses wherever they see gaps in the relationship.
I agree also that 1 year is more than enough! My family are insisting few months but unfortunately his family members require 'more time' which isnt good for anyone at the moment. I think it can cause unecessary problems the longer it is dragged on for, unless there is a genuine reason in that case would be important to wait.
I don't know it might only be me, but in engagement both are still Non-mehram than how religiously and ethically its correct to let them get so close to each other. Plus if you really have to check that if you can get along than it doesn't take that long. A week of good communication at the max. Even with engagement all the love and attachment comes along that is more dangerous in case of a breakup.
Life1 is a good example. You'll find more women crying about their fiance as compare to their husbands.
I don't know it might only be me, but in engagement both are still Non-mehram than how religiously and ethically its correct to let them get so close to each other.
Engagment is NIKAH and Breaking Up Engagement is Divorce.
They(the couple) are no longer Namahrems to each others, as for as my informations are concerned.
Some people Donot do Nikah at the time of Engagement ,in that case they are Namahrums and Religiously and Ethically they are not recommended to be very close.
Plus if you really have to check that if you can get along than it doesn't take that long. A week of good communication at the max. Even with engagement all the love and attachment comes along that is more dangerous in case of a breakup.
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You are right , that for communication and understanding a week is enough , but let it to Some months , still it could not recommended for more than one year.
Engagment is NIKAH and Breaking Up Engagement is Divorce.
They(the couple) are no longer Namahrems to each others, as for as my informations are concerned.
In Pakistani community Engagement is Engagement and not Nikkah, as far as I know. So they usually are Namehrams after engagement.
In Pakistani community Engagement is Engagement and not Nikkah, as far as I know. So they usually are Namehrams after engagement.
For Authentic and Knowledgfull information I have intiated one thread on GS in Religious Forum , regarding this issue "after engagment , individuals are Namuhram or not".
The couple should be allowed to decide... if they are okay with it then I think it's fine.
However, the trend that I have seen is that the longer the engagements, the greater the chances of them ending are.
But, in my opinion, if the couple is having difficulty understanding each other/getting along/problems in general, isn't it better to realize that during the engagement and break it off... rather than rush the engagement period and enter a union that they are content with.
...just my two cents...
As far as that person being Namehram or what not, if the couple meets in public places with the supervision of their families I don't see anything with that. To each, their own!
lol ^^ i read the title and thought to myself whats , whats with tthe complicated words and what the hell is spane lol
back to the question, i was engaged for a year, it depends what the time should be, considering your choices and decisions as to what you want to do, how old you are, hw are family sittuations will both familys be able to handle the two parties to go on to marry as soon as they get engaged or anything, there can be alot of things consider. then make a decison on how much is enuf .