*Only* marrying within your race - racism or preference

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

I know this is a generalisation but I feel when you grow up in a multicultural area such as places in the UK or America in particular.. you tend to be similar in your understandings and ideals with someone who has also grown up in the same place.. even if they are not necessarily the same race..

My friends here could happily marry someone from another race (some of them actually have done and now have exotic looking babies :phati:) whereas my cousins from back home would faint at the thought..

I’ve often daydreamed of marrying some gorgeous black African guy just to amuse myself with the inevitable drama Imagine introducing him to a typical desi aunty! :cb:

22

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

All the while posting about how you're madly in love with another dude and asking GS for advice. You're hilarious!

23

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

I think for our family it's definately preference. My parents always gave us the freedom to choose our partner but did tag in the line that they must be pakistani sunni muslim due to compatablity issues.

24

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

You can never stop a girl from daydreaming, whatever crazy situation she's in!

25

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

Actually I wouldnt mind marrying someone from another nationality as long as they are muslims or wanna become one and I proberly could convince my parents to accept him but since I didnt fall in love with anyone I just choose someone from my parents nationality

One of my male cousin are dating this sweet british girl and if they decide to marry I wont have any problem with it. Beside I know my family at first will advice him not to marry her and proberly mildly blackmail him like telling him that british girls doesnt stay with one man etc. etc. stuff like that but if he really really loves her they will agree since every cousin of his will be behind him and give theirs support.

26

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

I've often daydreamed about marrying Penelope Cruz and having her babies :(

27

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

now now it’s not like that’s impossible :hehe:

28

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

Lol, so unless ur actually forcing them not to marry them ur not a racist/bigot??

Most people would say simply imposing **your **preference for a Pakistani (or whatever race) on ur kids is bigotry regardless of how much pressure or force is being used..

You can have whatever personal preference u want for yourself but really can't see how u not wanting ur children to marry an Aborigine or whatever else simply because u don't like them isn't bigotry..

29

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

Being racist and bigot are two different things. Everyone on this planet is racist, don't doubt that.

Yeah, unless you don't force them you're not a bigot. Its because at the end of the day you're leaving the choice to them. You can express your disapproval and that's fine but forcing them is a big no-no. I find it awfully annoying when we're not allowed to express our opinions and personal choices. You can want all your want, let them decided though. Let me point out I am in definitely not against mixed race marriages.

30

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

How is it bigotry when the parent simply wants their kid to marry into a race they feel comfortable interacting and having relations with? Usually it is easier to discern the better prospects among your own compatriots as there isn't a cultural hurdle to overcome.

31

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

its so hard to marry out of ur nation but not that much hard to stop it...

im married out of my race,its sweet but sometimes makes me so confuse wats that mean there/? or somethings i never understand why my husband wish for it,even though we both r flexible for eachother...

in end ur love & caring & respect goes top of all things even culture & races...

32

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

And that is what matters the most! Experimentation and flexibility are very important!

P.S. Edited out some spelling errors, hope you don't mind.

33

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

Also from a biological point of view mixed race children have better genes than the average population and greater immunity to diseases.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/is-it-better-to-be-mixed-race

34

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

But the point is u don't know for sure that it will be easier for ur children.. Why not let them decide for themselves who they feel more comfortable with?

If a white person says they want their kids to only marry their own we would prob call that racist but when a desi says it for a 2nd or 3rd generation kid living in the west the culture excuse comes out..

35

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

For the LAST time *I have made it clear there is nothing wrong with YOU HAVING YOUR OWN PERSONAL PREFERENCE, **it's just expecting *other family members to follow your preference if they don't want to which is the problem..

My brother doesn't fancy black women and also wouldn't want me to marry a black man=racist

My brother doesn't fancy black women but would have no problem with me marrying a black man=not racist.

And regarding ur comment about racism and bigotry being two different things, a bigot can be a racist as bigotry covers different forms of prejudice so it was used in the correct context here, not really any point in trying to pick at the wording in this case..

36

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

o Sehrah my kids will be ....oooooo i didnt notice that in my own marriage...so let me test ill tell u result...lol

37

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

I am allowed to express my personal opinion within my family. I guess our definition of a family is very different then. Maybe I've been raised in a family that doesn't judge me based on my personal opinion. Our parents did tell us they would prefer we marry within our race as there would be compatibility but they also said that we possess the final say. See, we're all happy!

No, he doesn't want you to marry a black man or has no problem with it, it is his personal opinion. Once he decides to take any actions in preventing you from marrying a black man, he becomes a racist bigot.

Fine lets call them racist bigots then? Clear enough? I just want to make it obvious that every single person is racist. It is a defence mechanism or its a personal choice, it exists. Like it or not. Bigotry is when you act upon your prejudice.

Why does the world have to conform to be PC? You wanna make cookie cutter moulds of us :(

38

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

Science damn it :smack:

There is a difference between having a preference for your kids and actually forcing them to go through with it.

39

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

Even if u don’t force but say ‘I don’t want my daughter marrying a black man because I don’t like them’ of course this would be considered racist by most ppl..

40

Re: Only marrying within your race - racism or preference

No, it would be considered a personal preference because as a parent you're allowed to have certain expectations from your kids. If however the daughter comes up and says that she likes a black man for his qualities and virtues then the parent being a good parent wouldn't object to it.