I have been facing few people who keep mentioning about how they did good to so and so friend, relative…etc. but didn’t get enough in return…
But was that favor or good deed done as an investment with an expectation of a better return along with interest, or was it done as a good will gesture ? In any of the two cases whining about it is the worst thing to do.
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
A good deed should never be done with any kind of a 'return' expected. And you're exactly right, whining about not getting the expected reward, is even worse!!
So when Obama gives us all a Tax break......................and takes it away next year........
would that be considered whining too?..........:D
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
GOGO, you should read some of the posts here:
"Oh my god, on my wedding we did this and this for our relatives and when I went to their house, I got 50 rupees, uff!"
"Oh my god, I did this for my SIL and then on my birthday she calls and tells me she can't come because she's sick. Uff, probably doesn't want to give me a birthday present!"
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^ hahahahahahaha
i liked the last one :)
the only time this can be used if with ur spouse... "i do so much for u and all u can do is sit on ur lazy butt... its about time u got me something nice..." hehe
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
ill be honest, i'm one of those people who complains sometimes about doing a good deed, or even waht i'm supposed to do...only to have it feel like it went to waste. Like i spend so much time/energy/money on a friend, only for them to ditch me? Or, better yet, an example from my personal life, when i used to live with my brother and his wife, i used to do alot in terms of housework...and in return? well i'd share but i dont want to go down that ugly road again. I realize sometimes that some of my friends did ALOT for me, and I didn't reciprocate hte best way I should have and unfortunately i can't undo alot of things and now i'm the one who's hurting, so to speak..so oh well.
point being, its very rare that someone is truly angelic/altruistic that you do something nice without expecting something in return. I (being anyone) might not expect something tangible from that person, but one does act in hopes of having that good karma come back to them. If you want to look at it from a religious point of view, you never know when Allah swt is pleased wiht one of your good deeds. Or is doing any good deed in hopes of getting good karma is not okay either?
There is nothing wrong in expecting good from the Almighty, because HE doesn't leave a person unrewarded, sooner or later. The problem is where people start backbiting, sort of cursing, developing prejudice against those who don't return favors and let this prejudice kill one from inside. Specially, when it happens for once, they should learn from it and remain careful in future, but people keep on doing good to others because they can't resist their good nature, but also give away their good deeds to them by spreading hatred against them for hours and hours of using of tongue against them. Such disgracing acts of degrading those people makes those good actions not worth it.
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
doing something good in the hope that someday someone will do something good to you...i think that's why a lot of people do good deeds.
but perhaps the line is crossed when you do something (a favor...for instance, giving someone a ride home, or lending them some money) expecting them to do the same for you one day. I've learned my lesson manyy times when someone I expected to be there simply wasn't; it is NOT a good feeling. So? I try to be there now in as many ways as possible; it's got to make a difference to someone, right?
i shall end this meandering post with...aspiring to a greater good is much different than aspiring for a good from a person.
It's good to do kind deeds without expecting anything in return. And there are many people who do kind things for others without expecting anything in return.....except for BASIC RESPECT.
And there are people who will use you **and **take advantage **of your niceness and then totally ditch** you....they'll treat you as if they don't know you or don't see you. And in such situations, you have the right to feel hurt and upset. Because while you may not have expected any SERVICE or MATERIAL GAINS in return.....there is no excuse for such rude behavior from the other party.
I once gave many ideas to a classmate (who I thought was a friend) for a project because she was absent the day it was assigned. She used my idea and Alhumdolillah got an A on it. I'm not taking credit for her A at all because she's the one who made the effort to complete the assignment and format the project in her own creative way. I simply helped her out because she was having trouble getting started. I got an A on my project as well (just like her).....but I received a couple of bonus points from the teacher for my hand-made drawing. This girl that I helped was NOT happy for me at all. She saw my project on the wall and saw my score and in a really nasty/snotty way said, "So you got bonus points only for your drawing?" and walked off.
^There's no excuse for such behavior. I didn't expect anything in return from her. I wasn't even showing off. And I wasn't the one grading the assignments. The least a friend can do is pretend to be happy for you....and if that's not possible, at least be respectful.
**
Give and take/reciprocation** is a part of every relationship. To deny that would be foolish. If you buy a gift for someone, do it from the goodness of your heart without expecting a gift in return. If you help, help out of the pleasure you feel from helping others. But if the other person can't even respect you, then it's best to maintain a distance. There is no excuse for not at least reciprocating with respect. And I'm not talking about gushing with praise and kissing up to the other person for helping you out. I'm just talking basic respect.
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^ I was gonna say the same thing redvelvet...
people who do good deeds or something for someone else.. maybe do it for respect... and thats not a bad thing at all :)
we wall want some respect and loyalty. But some people dont really know what that means anymore
also, ive been in a situation where all my loyalty has backfired and only cus i dont backbite.. seems unfair, but really, its only a lesson from God that we should be aware of such people and that not everyone deserves our loyalty and friendship..
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^ Hence it is proved that if you know from experience that a person won't return favor in the form of respect, it is better to avoid doing favors to that person and prefer someone who is more loyal, respectful and deserving of that favor. The problem with some people is that in spite of knowing from past incidents that such a person is not going to respect in return, they keep moving in cycles, i.e. doing favors, expecting respect, and whining after not getting it.
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^ that too... but a lot of people dont expect favours back as respect... for me respect is one of the best things someone could give me in return of a favour... but as in straigh_up's example... some people want other type of favours...
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^ I agree Go-go. And that's what I said as well. If it becomes clear to you that someone is using you and then ditching you....learn from the mistake and stay clear of them. Or the other option is to talk to them about their tactless behavior.
GOGO....did you get your nick from the character in the movie Andaz Apna Apna?
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^ Don't know about the movie. My spouse likes this name, so wanted to keep it as a nick. :)
^ Hmm....perhaps your spouse has seen the movie, Andaz Apna Apna. In the movie there is a character named Crime Master Go Go played by Shakti Kapoor who frequently introduces his grand title to others throughout the film and also likes to add "Aur main aankhein nikaal k gotiyan khel ta hoon!" Looool!
Needless to say...it's a funny and creative nick! Nice work Crime Master!
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
Nice thread, it's good that you pointed out this issue. The reasons for such attitude:
1) excelled in materialism
2) Unaware of virtue
3) Intolerance (baysabri and nashukri)
4) too much concentrate on the negative points of others
NICE THREAD! THIS IS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT, THEY ARE MATERIALISTIC AND EXPECT A REWARD FOR THEIR GOOD DEEDS. SHOWNESS AND CORRUPTION AND SELFISHNESS IS IT'S CAUSE.
AND IF WE WILL NOT ELIMINATE THEZ THINGS THEN THIS WILL ALL HAPPEN!
:)
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
^Very well said Captain. we also need to do our spellings.
Re: One should not do a good deed only to whine about it later
Captain FT:
