One piece of advice....

[somegroovychick]

…from guppans who have-been-brides to guppans who will-be-brides…

there’s lots of us married ladies here, and lots of ladies who are planning their weddings… mine was the first wedding in the family in a looong time and i had no one to really turn to, to discuss the details and the in’s and out’s of planning a wedding and designing a dress and taking care of things, so GS was my wedding home away from home. i’d like to pass on the favour of all the great feedback and advice i got from the ladies here during that crazy summer last year. so, married’s, if you had to pass on any advice from your own experience, what would it be?

here’s my tips:
on a practical note, i’d say, don’t make your dupatta too heavy! mine was ridiculously heavy and all the pins in my head HURT! and sometimes, it would drag down my shirt off one shoulder which made my boobs look lopsided in a few pictures- not a good look, let me tell ya hahahah
so keep the border heavy and the rest of it light!

on an in-law’s note, don’t sweat the small stuff! i’m sure there will be lots of things that will come up- just remember, the end is much bigger than the means, so if things don’t go exactly to plan, laugh it off and move on-- you’ll save yourself a ton of stress.

so… silsila, PF, sara, sahar, mama ki dua, ami123, wannabeamum, muniya, shay, chanda_kh, and all the rest of you… its time to dish and hopefully make all of our guppan future brides just a wee bit happier on their days!

[Pareezay]

Re: One piece of advice....

I agree- and please get your portraits done BEFORE your ceremony/reception starts especially if you plan on getting alot of pictures done. Most of mine were done towards the end of our reception and we ended up missing most of the fun part, i.e, everyone dancing, etc. I soooo wish we had done and gotten the pictures out of the way before. It's more relaxed and you're newly dolled up. Also, communicating with your photographer about what kind of pictures you DON'T want is very crucial. After all, your pictures will be treasured forever.

Also, pack a small bag (with your outfit, jewelry, safety pins, other essentials) you will need before/during/after wedding but do it atleast 2 days before. This way you have time to think whether you're missing something and still have time to get it. I was up for two hours till about 3 am packing my bag because in all the dholki/mehndi craziness, I didn't get time to do so. Also, on the morning of big day, make sure you eat breakfast, and keep your cellphones off.. lol. Try to get everything done the day before and just relax and enjoy your big day.

[MiamisweetheartX]

Re: One piece of advice....

aww this is such a cute thread!!!!
u guys are too sweet! thanks ill remember ur advices.

[dildirani]

Some very useful advice can be found in the following link

20 Mistakes Most Newlyweds Make

[Niksik]

Re: One piece of advice…

I got married so long ago that I just love to read all of your posts and feel young and bubbly again

[Pareezay]

Re: One piece of advice…

aww bhabs did you get my texts??!!

[Niksik]

Re: One piece of advice....

I got one Shay. Glad to know you are well. Ramzan mubarak to you as well. When are we seeing more photos?

[Pareezay]

Re: One piece of advice....

.

[Niksik]

Re: One piece of advice…

Ok dokey

[amnaar]

lol, i have a kinda funny story, i will get to it in a minute

The serious advice that i had in mind, shay already pointed out , let me just re-iterate that... Yes, do get your portraits BEFORE the ceremony when you are still fresh, and your makeup hair doopata everything is in place, coz portraits show those things upclose and if anything goes amiss, like dopatta setting, or mishap with makeup toward the end of the night, or just sheer tired-ness and boredom on your face due to the long night (lol), its gonna ruin those portraits (i think in pak most photographers infact do take the couple's portraits, and bridal portraits before the ceremony at the studio or something, but in case you are not getting married in pakistan and your photographer doesn't bring this up , do ask him/her to do them before.

ok, here's what happened to me, i had gotten a french manicure a day before mehndi and eventhough i had been growing my nails as best as i could, the lady who did the manicure said i would need nail extensions, so she put some on and did the french manicure...the extensions weren't really that long, but were still longer than i had originally wanted (the lady just refused to agree with me and kept them longer than i wanted when shaping them)... anyways long story short, i put nailpolish on the same nails+extensions on wedding day...
and i also had contact lenses (non-coloured, eyesight ones)... when at night i was taking off all the crap like makeup and jewellery in our hotel room, the time came to take out the lenses ... and i just couldn't do it because of the long nails...my nails have always been very short, and thats what i was comfortable with while taking off lenses, i didn't have any practice with long nails... MY poor husband (still very new to me) offered to stick his fingers in my eyes and take the lenses out for me...but every time he would bring his hand close to my eyes I would freak out LOL...the thought of someone else sticking something in your eye can be freaky, if you have never had anyone (like a doctor ) do it in your entire life.

buhat bara masla bann gaya, ke lens kesay utaaray jayen...
i could cut my nails off, but was thinking, i still hav valima and long nails would be nice on valima... finally i did end up cutting tips off my right index finger and thumb nails off and took the lenses out myself!
so i dont know this may not happen with everyone with long nails, but be prepared, practice taking off lenses with long nails a head of time if you are not used to it or make sure you are comfortable with someone else helping you.

my husband was so nice, trying to help me, while i was still a l ittle shy, and not completely comfortable with him yet (as in not completely free yet) , we had met only a few times in the presence of elders before marriage, and had talked only on the phone few more times during the rest of the engagement period...and the first thing on the wedding night lol was this lens dilemma.

[Sara516]

Re: One piece of advice…

^ That is such a cute story! Mine was kind of opposite, i wanted really nice tips/nails but unfo at the time i wasn’t even allowed to go to a somewhat decent place to get my nails and stuff done so i had to go get them done in the cheapass parlour in the hood and the aunty did such a TERRIBLE JOB, i still get mad thinking abt it.

Portraits is a good idea but sometimes its just possible to have it before the ceremoney, esp if everyone will be all hawwwwww haiiiiiiii-ing ke “abhi tak nikkah nahi huwa” and already taking pics… u know, desi mentality

Personally i ca’t think of too many off the top of my head but i will post soon…

[skausur]

Re: One piece of advice....

This is so great so helpful!! Amnaar your story is so sweet.

Im really looking forward to my wedding but can't help worrying.

[Pareezay]

Re: One piece of advice....

Cute story :)

It was the same with us while taking portraits- 'certain' people were telling my husband that you should see her after nikkah and not before, and it was probably because that's how it's done in Pakistan. But obviously I wasn't paying my photographer all that money for no reason so I told my husband to just be there. We got our way and he showed up with my devars while I was getting ready. So we all were in the suite (my siblings, cousins, friends, his siblings, etc) and we had such a great time taking pictures. But the real, real portraits weren't done because I didn't have a wedding planner so I got stuck with calls and this and that. That resulted in us spending more time organizing things and all rather than taking pictures. We did go out to the courtyard to shoot some pictures but with so many things on my mind, I wasn't able to enjoy it much. I mean it was kinda nice later at night to get away from all the noise and just relax in the suite while the photog and videographer took pics, etc but we missed out on so much fun stuff. Same thing happened with the parents too, we couldn't take any portraits with the family because they were either busy getting ready or greeting guests. So we took them late at night when everyone was tired and the pictures didn't turn out as good as they should have. So now for the rukhsati, atleast we won't have other people putting restrictions since we are nikkahfied and I have told my family as well as inlaws to PLEASE be there before everything starts otherwise we are NOT taking any pictures seperately once shaadi begins :D

[smughal]

Re: One piece of advice....

great thread.. n thanks for ur advice amnaar coz im gonna be wearing my eyesight lenses..

[khawateen]

Re: One piece of advice....

this is gonna sound stupid but its so true with other brides i have talked to...

ENJOY YOUR WEDDING OUTFIT !!!!!

i honestly dont remember wearing mine... if there werent pics to prove i did indeed wear my bridal dress..i woulda thought otherwise!

we women spend so so so much time and effort and stress and tension on getting that perfect outfit... and when the day comes, its just a race from showering, off to the parlour , get make up and hair done, off to photoshoot.. get married, off to hotel and before you know it, ure outta ure bridal clothes and into something comfy! so even if its once ure back in the hotel room after the wedding.. just sit.. and enjoy it... see ure reflection in the mirror... look at the embroidery... wah wah karo aur karwao apni shohar se! :D

other than that.. enjoy your day... its gonna go by way way way too fast.. and everytime u pass by a shaadi hall will u wish it was ure day all over again ...

oh and do remember to have someone let the video and photo person know when an important rasm is going on... at my wedding.. we managed to get everything but there were so many rasms going on... and family members got so involved with them on stage.. no one remembered to let the photographer and video maker know that they need to be catching these things... these guys have to catch a lot of memories and cant be everywhere at once... so before a rasm is about to start and they are away taping something or someone else.. take ure time.. have them come over and then do the rasm. it sounds like common sense but in the hala baloo of the wedding... things can get crazy

[pakifairy]

awww sgc, great advice!!

i agree with the dupatta thing and just make sure your dupatta is pinned veryni cely. sometimes the outfit and the girl are stunning but the dupatta isnt pinned properly and it ruins the look.
another thing: keep your lipstick with you the whole time. this was a problem for me on my shaadi day. my coordinator accidently had my lipstick sent back to my room and NO BODY was able to find it.

a big thing: focus on how you feel, look, etc on your day. the flowers , the decor, etc while they are nice they are not crucial. no one remembers a 100 centerpeice from a 50.00 centerpeice. do what you can afford, and make sure you shine because you are the star!!!!!! not those flowers. i think i spent way too much time obsessing over things like that, and while they were pretty they may have not been worth the sweat, tears, and money put into them.

try to eat very healthy a month or so up to the wedding date. lots and lots of water like gallons (i wish i did this) and fruits and vegetables and lean protein.

definately like sgc said: dont sweat the in laws stuff. things will come u-p and be annoying, etc. just let it go. remember its you and your hubby's day.

savor every moment of it. it will be the happiest day in your life (and sad too). be sure to hug your mom and dad, and siblings tight and make sure they are thanked for all their help.

oh one last thing. go ahead and go all out. its your wedding. so if you have a matha patti that you might chicken out of wearing DONT! ITS the only time in your life you can. i made this matta patti to go with my wedding set but chickened out at the last minute.
i regret that cuz when will i be able to wear it again! :)

[mysti]

Re: One piece of advice....

oooo.. make sure when u sign the contract for photography or videography.. tht ur photographer states that HE WILL BE THERE THAT DAY TO SHOOT YOUR PICS.. and that he will have so and so person with him incase he needs help.. and that IF HE WONT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.. SO AND SO PERSON will be there to REPLACE HIM.. and should provide u with their name and address so that u can call and contact them to see how their work is..

my photographer didnt show-up at the baraat function.. he did my photoshoot at home and 10 minz before he left he told me he wont be coming to the hall and had arranged for another photographer because it was his nephews first birthday.. and now we're taking him to court! cuz he WRECKED our baraat day pics!

[somegroovychick]

Re: One piece of advice....

^ oh man, that really sucks!!!

[S02]

Re: One piece of advice....

Just remember, your job that day is to glow with joy, to look pretty, to reflect on this wonderful new life you are beginning with this great guy. So when the appetizers don't come out on time, when that girl you hate is wearing something heavier than your outfit, when some other chick has a dupatta on her head and everyone says she looks like the bride, when your SIL says something that annoys you, when your mom won't stop fretting about the food, when it seems like no one is listening to the speeches, when those two aunties that hate each other are sitting next to each other, when the candles go out on one side of your stage, when the flowers seem to be more peach than the pink you requested, when the table linens are not the same fabric you wanted to go with the rug, when your father has a cold, when you realize you forgot to wear one of your rings, when that guy made a snarky comment about the dry kebabs, when the photographer is running late, etc. none of it matters in the long run. Just relax and enjoy the day for what it is. Weddings are rarely perfect; it's what keeps them interesting.

[aiklarkithe]

i went to pakistan after soooooo long and felt so uncomfortable with everyone as i had to rely on my cousins for everything. they organised parlour and other stuff.

i had very very heavy duppata and lengha..............long heels...........and very heavy earrings. my ears were killing me, with heavy duppta sliding on sides..............i had use stairs alot and with high heel and other problems i felt like crying.

my jewellery, especially earrings were so heavy. but i realised later that i should have got the same design but much lighter and less gold. but i didnt knew before.

my sis was 13 and she was acting so weired in pakistan and i had to trace her down even on my wedding day. mum was so busy as we had so many guests staying at our house plus she wasnt feeling well. on mehandi day sister went with some girls to a local park; couldnt contact her as she didnt had phone with her.............so she couldnt get mehani

i had to purchase her gift that she had to give to my hubby and i was certain that she will forget at home, and told my aunty to keep reminding her.

sis didnt brush her hair on my barat day and i was sitting there asking every one to help her brush her hair and i dont think she even washed her face!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was so stressed out and wanted to run away.

after ruksati, photographer asked us to do photos in fron of every one. i felt so weired and annoyed as everyone was looking at us. PLEASE make sure you , with your hubby or family members are alone with the photographer and other people not staring at you.

know all the rusums before your wedding. i was asked by this annoying aunty to give money to my BIL, and i did but she kept asking him to hassle me to get more.

and ofcourse.........my MIL lost the key to the suitcase which had my night dress and dont ask me what i had to wear for the night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE KEEP ALL YOUR BELONGINGS TO YOURSELF AND NEVER ASK ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER FOR YOU.

before my hubby came to the room, MIL asked me to get changed!!!

I WAS IN SUCH A SHOCK DURING MY WEDDING.........

and PLEASE DONT ASK ABOUT MY HONEY MOON.