Re: One of the most important 6 hours in your life…Evaluating a rishta
^ 
Re: One of the most important 6 hours in your life....Evaluating a rishta
Honestly, you can never tell what a person truly is like until months or years of living together. That is why we don't rely on our own intellect or samuj, to decide if a person is good or not. We rely on two things: istikhara and mushwara.
We first do istikhara to seek Allah's guidance and help in deciding the matter. If you look at the meaning of the dua itself, you are actually doing mushwara (consultation) with ALLAH, the creator of you and the potential spouse, for khair in all areas of your life: deen, dunya, and akhirah. So when you ask from Allah to take care of all these things, and then you leave it on him and rely on him, he will only put the most suitable feeling in your heart. Be it a feeling of fear and apprehension towards the person, or complete contentment that you can't even explain since you barely know the person and thier family. Another thing is that you will see things materializing nicely for you, and everyone will generally be content, of course, there will be some people who think otherwise. But sometimes, some lucky people get to see a vision which shows that its a good sign, or not good for them. Either way, you have to go with your heart, and not from your emotions or hormones :) A person may look very attractive to you physically and you might mistake it as "chemistry" between you two, but really he/she doesn't really fit your category of a potential spouse.
But definitely, you WILL feel some type of chemistry, and a feeling that "this is it! I HAVE to marry him/her." Insha'Allah. So wait for that feeling.
After doing mushwara, consult with your close family members, your well-wishers, and a learned person to get thier opinions. Then, decide.
From my history with rishtas, I learned that when Allah has written the time for you, he WILL make it happen, in such a way that you wouldn't have even imagined. And if they're meant for you, they will be the one you marry even if its months or years late. Also, if the rishta is bad for you, Allah will automatically turn it away from you. So just pray two rakat salatul hajaat/istikhara everyday until your wedding day, and ask Allah for khair, afiyat, and barakah. Insha'Allah you will recieve it when you have FULL yaqeen and trust in him.
May Allah make it easy for all those seeking partners, and fill every marriage with deen, love, happiness, understanding, and success. Ameen.
Re: One of the most important 6 hours in your life....Evaluating a rishta
BlackEyed...I went through a similar experience recently. Basically the guy was introduced through a friend, our parents got to know about eachother's background (they happened to have a lot in common), then his sister met my family...he lives in another country. After that my parents spoke to him over the phone...and once they had a done reference checks through SEVERAL sources, we got to talk. I let him ask most of the questions the first time...but at the end of the converstaion I laid down what was most important to me..family values, religion...he agreed. The next time we talked he had already made-up his mind...I still needed more time. But at the end of it, it all seemed to make sense. I'm still nervous and there is a bit of anxiety but you know what...you have to go with your gut feeling. If it feels right deep down inside...AND people whom you trust are favouring the rishta...then with dua and an open mind...go for it. It's a cheezy thing to say but you'll know if he's the one. :-)
Best of luck hun and feel free to message me if need be.
^ if a woman asked me all those questions in one sitting, I'd be pissed, unless she is interviewing me for the personality of the year.
Fear not my furry friend. Gorillas have different priorities. She might simply narrow it down to what part of the jungle you rule, the loudness of your roar, how prettily you grunt, and how fast you can pound your chest per minute.
LOL :)
And what I wrote may be complete B.S. I've no clue as to the priorities of gorillas when selecting a mate. But....me thinks I'm not way off either.
^ if a woman asked me all those questions in one sitting, I'd be pissed, unless she is interviewing me for the personality of the year.
LOL!!!! Jaanwar.. I never said i would ask them right away in one conversation.. Ofcourse you have to just "go with the flow"... This was just an idea, of what one should have in mind...
BlackEyed...I went through a similar experience recently. Basically the guy was introduced through a friend, our parents got to know about eachother's background (they happened to have a lot in common), then his sister met my family...he lives in another country. After that my parents spoke to him over the phone...and once they had a done reference checks through SEVERAL sources, we got to talk. I let him ask most of the questions the first time...but at the end of the converstaion I laid down what was most important to me..family values, religion...he agreed. The next time we talked he had already made-up his mind...I still needed more time. But at the end of it, it all seemed to make sense. I'm still nervous and there is a bit of anxiety but you know what...you have to go with your gut feeling. If it feels right deep down inside...AND people whom you trust are favouring the rishta...then with dua and an open mind...go for it. It's a cheezy thing to say but you'll know if he's the one. :-)
Best of luck hun and feel free to message me if need be.
aaw thank you naqsa.. I am soo nervous .. and your message made me calm down... I wish you the best of luck hun!.. and i will keep ur advise in mind :)
Re: One of the most important 6 hours in your life....Evaluating a rishta
both people must have self respect and be kind, honest, not renege their own words.
character is really important for both people to have a good moral common ground.
education, looks, background of families and finances do matter, as well.
but these are not fixed variables.
anyone who is selfish, mean, deceiving, unfair, conniving and bad of hearts, should be avoided.
how would your rate IVY league university education vs community college education.
or why do some ppl find IVY rishtas more attractive
Re: One of the most important 6 hours in your life....Evaluating a rishta
what is IVY?
how would your rate IVY league university education vs community college education.
or why do some ppl find IVY rishtas more attractive
Dude is this even a question?