And I think it was not the first time, I know that he has been cheating and so did a couple of other old pals. His wife threw him out, and has got custody as well. I feel sorry for the kids, but not for him or his wife.
I met the woman accidentally and she was furious and asked me point blank, if I had known about cheating. The question caught me off guard and I couldn’t dodge it and had to confess that I did. But I told her she should have seen it coming. Theirs was a love marriage, both were in our college, she being 2 years junior to us. He was known to be a flirt, and would get involved whenever he saw an attractive girl. This was known to everyone and she married him knowing that. It was a sad conversation , I wish it had not happened.
I don’t know what’s sadder, the fact some of his friends knew about the cheating but turned a blind eye or telling the wife that she should have seen it coming.
^We are accustomed to think in our profession that people personal lives are their own business, I am never comfortable telling anyone's spouse about them. Would you have? As for seeing it coming I did feel it that way, might sound a bit cruel, but to me he was always like that. In college he had many affairs, one after another or at same time. She knew of all that.
I guess anyone would have blurted out the truth when put on spot.
But yea its not friends job to keep the family together. Sure, step in when asked for help but going out of his way to tell his wife that he is cheating is useless. Because as an outsider, he wouldn't know the circumstances, maybe wife knew? maybe they had some kind of arrangement. Best thing is to stay out of the couple lives and let them handle it.
And I have a feeling wife probably saw it coming (unless if she herself has a detached relationship with her husband). She might me just confirming the suspicion.
What good does it do to tell the wife she should have seen it coming? Best to not say anything.
As for telling the wife about it while cheating going on, of course not. That is their business.
Re severing ties with the friend because of this, there was a fable about being too harsh judging others. The main characters were a man name Christ and a prostitute whose name I forget.
I somehow tend to judge the kind of people who dont do everything in their power to butt in and either tell the spouse who is the victim in the situation or make the culprit understand!
that being said i have practiced what i preach manier times and almost always lost a friend and more often than not also not been trusted by the victim but atleast its off my conscience!
But there have been also times (rare though) that I have helped both parties by revealing the truth.
We have to realize that when such stuff is going on, it is NOT our responsibility or our business to butt in. Most times the partner has an idea what is going on. Maybe this is temporary and things may get better. Or the couple goes their separate way.
Throwing oneself into the picture when ones friend is cheating on his spouse may alienate one from both parties. And for the most oart, do more damage to them.
the 3rd party ought to realize it is NOT about them or their conscience. Let the couple sort it out.
Of course if one or both seeks the 3rd party advice that is the time to butt in.
I somehow tend to judge the kind of people who dont do everything in their power to butt in and either tell the spouse who is the victim in the situation or make the culprit understand!
that being said i have practiced what i preach manier times and almost always lost a friend and more often than not also not been trusted by the victim but atleast its off my conscience!
But there have been also times (rare though) that I have helped both parties by revealing the truth.
no regrets..
How much evidence did you have in such cases? Did you hear things or seen them dating in Resturaunt or chatting?
No I dont act on gossip ofcourse! Full ptoof with texts & this other time I knew the guy I was giving my opinion on was a full on psycho who would beat up his gf in front of us in university. Whenever I have given my input it has been with full proof & first hand experiences!
Yeah…Yeah…Kick some @sses… Laathi charge ..Tear Gas… Perhaps laughing gas…
Just some full scale hitting is required of someone except me..
:kursi:.
(Note:-…I am not myself… Haven’t laughed whole day…and my head throbs… Some serious laughing required…) @punjabi_kuri is wrestling helpful …( waise I really want to see kids tearing each other hair apart… something constructive with serious outcomes…,don’t reply here…thread would be trashed)
Did you ever think to have a conversation with your friend?
I can understand why you may not have approached his wife but, as a friend, did you never feel morally obligated to push him in the right direction when you knew he was not being faithful to his spouse?
Depending on how close I am to the person(s), I likely find it very difficult to not say something to the offending person.
Isn't that what friendship is about?
Did you ever think to have a conversation with your friend?
I can understand why you may not have approached his wife but, as a friend, did you never feel morally obligated to push him in the right direction when you knew he was not being faithful to his spouse?
Depending on how close I am to the person(s), I likely find it very difficult to not say something to the offending person.
Isn't that what friendship is about?
Lol, most of my paki friends cheat. Do I tell them to quit it, of course I do, but it's in one ear and out the other with them.
Lol, most of my paki friends cheat. Do I tell them to quit it, of course I do, but it's in one ear and out the other with them.
yeah....well....it'll catch up on them......
Allah has a way with doling out justice......they will eventually lose everything they value.......money, home and kids.....probably in that order.
yeah....well....it'll catch up on them......
Allah has a way with doling out justice......they will eventually lose everything they value.......money, home and kids.....probably in that order.
Did you ever think to have a conversation with your friend?
I can understand why you may not have approached his wife but, as a friend, did you never feel morally obligated to push him in the right direction when you knew he was not being faithful to his spouse?
Depending on how close I am to the person(s), I likely find it very difficult to not say something to the offending person.
Isn't that what friendship is about?
Do you think his friend did not already know that what he was doing was wrong? Do you really think you can talk an adult out of something?
He was a flirt back in the day, of course his wife should have seen it coming. And I think we all owe some kind of loyalty to our friends, its not our job to tell on them. Sure you can try asking them to mend their ways, but thats that.
This one in particular, I never thought of having a conversation. He comes from a pretty religious family, and he sure knows its wrong. He is also not the kind that will listen to a good word of advice, rather the kind who will try to justify or downplay anything he does.
I had actually wrote about him in a thread few years ago. This one was about him.
Some serious laughing required…)