I am new to this forum and seen a lot of posts in all the rooms. I have a question which I still haven’t seen anyone post or I may have missed it. I am engaged and about to get married in about 2-3 months. Anyone who is single, engaged, married can answer this question. My question is:
Should the couple discuss on the subject about sex before marriage?
I want to discuss the subject with my fiance before marriage. We never really discussed about it except for once for like 2 minutes. I wanted to know for those who are married or engaged if you discussed about this before marriage. If so, what was the response from your partner? Do you think it is ok to discuss on the subject before marriage? I want us both to be comfortable on the wedding night so I think it is important to discuss it before marriage? What do you all say?
We do not plan to have children right away. Maybe in 3 years or so after marriage, we will plan on that. But to me physical relationship is just as important as spiritual and emotional. I want her to share the same feelings in this subject so thought I should discuss it before marriage. But wanted to know if anyone else has discussed it with their partner before marriage. If so, how did you start a conversation on this subject?
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*Originally posted by Wolverine25: *
We do not plan to have children right away. Maybe in 3 years or so after marriage, we will plan on that.
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OK, here is an ice-breaker. Tell her that you don't wana have children right away and since the pill takes a few weeks to be effective, she has to start taking it NOW because you have waited 38 years for this night and you don't wana wait another 30 seconds to be wasted on this conversation. So order her to get busy and call her gyny right away.
You’re kidding, right? They’re getting married in 2-3 months! She doesn’t have to start taking pills now, she can start taking them a month before their marriage. Do you know when women are on pills they get a severe headache and feel drowsy? Jab zaroorat nahi hai tab sar dard lene ki kia zaroorat hai!
Well I don’t know how but I’m sure she would also want to discuss this with you because most desi women want to feel comfortable with their husbands on first night. I think when you discuss about family planning you should start by asking which method she’d wanna use and stuff like that and carry on the conversation on and around the topic in a respectful manner… ab kia hum dialogs bhi batayen kia aapko?
CurruptAngel, I am told that sometime the pill doesnt work or has side effects, so the doctor has to change the pill accordingly, so it is necessary in my eyes to go to the doc few months before actually having the need to take the pill, to be really sure that it will work on time.
I think there is no general rule wether to discuss sexual issues before marriage or not, but I know that most couples who are not having a total arrange marriage do discuss these matters before to get to know eachother's opinion ..likes and dislikes.
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*Originally posted by SaadiaB: *
CurruptAngel, I am told that sometime the pill doesnt work or has side effects, so the doctor has to change the pill accordingly, so it is necessary in my eyes to go to the doc few months before actually having the need to take the pill, to be really sure that it will work on time.
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The doctor will tell you that "every" method has side affects and there isn't any method 100% guaranteed to work. Doctors can't tell who will be affected and who won't be. She doesn't need to see the doctor few months before. She only needs to see him/her 3-4 weeks before and take pills 2-3 weeks before her periods to see if it will work or not.
CA, I was told from a friend, that there are many types of anti baby pills and the doctor will do his best to find that one that suits you, but it can happen that the pill subcribed can have heavy side affects, so that the person cannot use it anymore, so in worst case they would have to start a new pill type, well I don't know when you can actually start taking the pills but a cyclic is mostly after the period, so u'd have to wait a month again .. why take a chance, what is wrong with taking pills a few month before anyway, better be safe as sorry later .. well thats my outlook on this matter.
I agree that not every pill will suit every person so they need to try one of the types first and then if it doesn't suit her then she can change it after marriage. Why would she need to take pills when she isn't having intercourse? Shadi kay baad bhi woh pills change karsakti hai...Not that I'm saying you're wrong but I don't understand it if someone uses medicines when s/he doesn't need it. I don't think it's healthy and especially because birth control pills are very strong I wouldn't recommend anyone to try them without a need. Hope it makes sense to you..:)
yes .. i understand what u mean .. and not only that, someone who is taking the pills for a long time, can have a hard time getting pregnant (seen some cases) because the body gets used to the pills. I have seen many females take the pills for the first two years of marriage and then changed to other birth control methods.
Well we changed the topic, but family planning is something that a lot of desi have no idea of .. I know a female getting pregnant during the first month of her marriage LOL!
I give up…