Re: Older man marriage...
Gaia, if only you could be my older man <3
Niki, dude you can sort it out for her...talk to her parents and make this wedding happen! For mine and Gaia's sake!!!
Re: Older man marriage...
Is he something good? And what defines good is different from person to person. I think she should also make a pro/con list. AND look into those pending proposals, to make sure she's not making a mistake.
Re: Older man marriage…
ahh and Milly my young hot wife 
If only 
Re: Older man marriage...
Milly, I am not that close to her parents...actually not at all. Met them only once or twice. We talk more via Facebook now and met on my last trip. I don't think they'd appreciate my recommendations...
Is he good? Well, I've never met him. Seen his pic. Very polished, well dressed and looks successful for sure. Doesn't look more than 36-38. His mom is no more. His dad is old and loves with another brother...younger. That's his family and he knows no one will say anything to him. The problem is with her. She's not sure if she's willing to cause so much distress in her family over something that seems reasonable to her. She does have other options.
Re: Older man marriage...
when my sister was 18, after graduating high school, she went to Khi for a semester break, to stay with relatives. while there, she got a marriage proposal from a family friend (my mamoo's college pal) who was a good friend of the family..he was 38 at the time!!! against EVERYONE'S advice, she accepted the rishta....my brother in law comes from an EXTREMELY wealthy and established industrialist family, and they are very good people who have kept my sis happy, but 20 years difference...come on! of course she got pregnant in one second and exactly 9 months later, my niece was born. At the time, the age difference was noticeable, laikin itna bura nahi lagta tha...fast forward 20 years to now, when my sister is 39 and my brother in law 59 and it is really a big deal! She still looks like she's in her late twenties to early thirties, and he looks like a budha. My sister (through her own choices) never really had a young adulthood...missed out on a whole section on learning and growing and life that her own daughter is now leading, while living in the dorms and going to college here, and I see it in her face all the time that she realizes why such alliances are not a good idea. it's been really hard on her, like when they moved back to the US for 7 years, when her kids were little, and she wanted to go to college and my bro in law was like "Kyoon? Tumhai kya zaroorat hai, hummain kissi cheez ki kammi thori hai, beto ghar main araam se" he's very insecure, and doesn't like her spending anytime alone with her friends or family.....she's completely dependent on him too, financially, and it's sad.....on the flip side, she's travels the entire world, lives a very posh life style, is able to indulge in all her hobbies(she's now a certified master scuba diver!) and is able to give her kids so much...but still, as they say, hindsight is 20/20....
Re: Older man marriage...
Hmmm, thanks for sharing that khattichic.
go with your heart even if it's your downfall
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Re: Older man marriage...
stranger things have happened.
Re: Older man marriage...
she realizes why such alliances are not a good idea. it's been really hard on her, like when they moved back to the US for 7 years, when her kids were little, and she wanted to go to college and my bro in law was like "Kyoon? Tumhai kya zaroorat hai, hummain kissi cheez ki kammi thori hai, beto ghar main araam se" he's very insecure, and doesn't like her spending anytime alone with her friends or family.....she's completely dependent on him too, financially, and it's sad.....on the flip side, she's travels the entire world, lives a very posh life style, is able to indulge in all her hobbies(she's now a certified master scuba diver!) and is able to give her kids so much...but still, as they say, hindsight is 20/20....
But then this could happen with a guy who is of her own age too...of all the loser husbands we read about here on GS, how many of them are much much older? Chances are that they're all within the same age range.
Honestly, I dont' see why she shouldn't consider it IF it seems all other factors are in place...if she's working there, then it's a given that she is educated to some extent nad somewhat independent.
Re: Older man marriage...
I am 23 but I would not consider marrying a man who is 48 years old. I think anything more than 10 years is too much. I agree with whomever said this is probably the only man who has shown interest. They might get along really well and be good friends but marriage isn't just about that. I don't know I wouldn't do it.
Re: Older man marriage...
I think she needs to keep in mind that it's MORE than just "Oh i like him..he's pleasant..and I know him cuz I work for him...and don't mind marrying him." It's not as simple as that. Apart from the pleasant experience she's had in working for him, the familiarity, and his successfulness.....she also needs to think about how the huge age difference is going to affect her marriage. When she's 40, he'll be 80. What if they have children...how will that situation be affected? There's a gap of more than a generation between them. I'm not saying that it can't work out or even that she shouldn't......only that these are some pretty valid concerns and deserve her attention. I wonder if the guy would have gone for a woman (assuming she's compatible and decent looking)...had she been closer to this age. And no, I don't ask this in a mean way....just curiosity.
Re: Older man marriage...
Honestly, it depends on how much she likes him.
She has to realize that such a big age gap does take a toll. She has a lot of growing to do and he really doesn't. She will change as a person over time because people do...and he won't. She will have kids and it will be necessary for her to stay active and fit...because he will slow down faster than her. His taste will be more mature than hers. She will feel the age gap in day to day life after a while because their interests will vary. She will have to grow up really fast so they don't look awkward together.
Its not like its 39 and 49...its 24 and 48. Its fun being taught new things by someone older and wiser but its not fun when they can't possibly relate to the things that make up who you are.
I know a couple like this...the age gap is very big and it was a love marriage. In the beginning, she defended the alliance with all her might but now its hard. You fall in love and you see this person leave much sooner than you.
Its reality, its life, she has to understand and be ready for that possibility.
Re: Older man marriage...
Rv, when she's 40, he will be 64... He's 24 years older than her. Biti see where you're coming from.
Re: Older man marriage...
bhabhi jaan this is one of those things that does not really have a direct answer
the thing is if age is the ONLY issue then i dont see the harm in going for it as long as she has considered all other factors and is okay with everything else...also so long as this isnt the first rishta and shes just jumping for the first proposal that came her way its ok for her to go for it,...but if she hasnt even checked on what else is out there....she may not have enough of a broad perspective to be able to decide whether or not to go for this older gentleman
so it really depends on her personal situation whether she should or shouldnt go for said rishta
Re: Older man marriage...
If she believes that she can be happy with him then why not ? One of my acquaintance (divorced with a kid) married a man twice her age and she is masha allah so happy now. Young spouse can not guarantee happiness.
Re: Older man marriage…
Age is just a number - mine is 13 years younger then me … and who bloody cares 
Re: Older man marriage...
Unless she is head over heels in love with him and cannot survive even 1 hour away from him, she should take a time out. Liking him a lot, he being a nice person and successful are not sufficient reasons to overcome the practical issues that will come due to the 24-yr gap. It is not just the physical issue - (24, 48) (40, 68) 60, 84) etc. As Sarah points out, the girl is yet to grow as a person - she may be at a different level 6 years from now, while the 54 year old may have entirely different priorities.
The girl needs to wake up and be fair to herself and her future.
Re: Older man marriage...
You have an interesting circle :D
Probably she likes him because he is the only guy who has showed interest in her and/ or proposed her! She needs to get out and look sound..she will be over him sooner than later!
I don't think that's necessarily the problem....
The thing is that she likes him a lot, has no issues with his past and feels comfortable marrying him. However, she knows that her parents will not approve as s*he has tons of pending proposals at this time and really, she could soon me married off to a guy her age doing equally well for himself.*
If it's true that she can find someone equally as good as him and closer in age to her...then is there something that only HE can offer her?
Re: Older man marriage...
Her best bet is to do Istikhara....certainly its a big age difference and she knows this is main reason her parents wont agree to this proposal. However, strange things do happen.... I do agree with one the post above that a man can become insecure with the passage of time.
On the flip side, going against parents is not a good idea anyways...
Re: Older man marriage...
Yes, we all know that the age of the spouse (older, younger, same age range) does not guarantee happiness. That goes without saying. Marriage is a gamble..............but when people don't consider how factors like huge disparity between ages will affect their relationship/future.......then it becomes more of a gamble.
This girl shouldn't only focus on the immediate future....the honeymoon period....but down the road how will this age dispartiy impact her....when she's 40 and he's 80....if they have kids.....years later will she still have an attraction toward him.....the energy to keep up? Working with someone is not the same as living with them. You may be compatible at work.....but how about on a more deeper/long-term basis (such as a relationship)? Will this age difference (down the road) prevent the two from relating to one another, understanding and connecting with each other?