Get your mind out of little irrelevent crap things such as barri and jahez outfit AND look at your life ahead. You need to think positive and concentrate on your husband and not your MIL. Try to build a strong relationship based on honesty, sincerity, integrity and love. Don't sit idle and think what MIL is thinking. Make yourself a better person and the rest will fall in place. Get a job to keep yourself occupied. The MIL is the generation before, she has lived her life..don't worry too much about her and do the normal kindness that you would extend to your mother WITHOUT any expectations of reciprocal.
I feel like you're looking for conflict because you know that's the stereotype of the MIL-DIL relationship. You want it, you'll get it. But then don't come here and complain when it's of your own creation.
You know, I'm not convinced you even care about the photos. Why? Because the action you chose to take was centered on *****ing and moaning and creating a scene to get attention from your inlaws and hubby. You didn't do anything productive like contact the photographer and see what you could salvage. Because it's not about the photos. It's about the drama.
Find something to keep yourself occupied so you don't go around creating more trouble in your own life.
Be nice to her and stop thinking she's ignoring you. Some people age really mean, and trust me, that's nothing. She could be a lot worse. She's had surgery AND she's getting older so she may start forgetting things, she may accuse you of things, but try to let it go. Be happy with your husband, WHAT does it matter if she's not complimenting you or asking you to make rotiyaan or whatever?!
this is sooo entertaining..... reading MIL stories!
baby take it easy dont overstress yourself and let her be! do not spoil your early days of married life and please do not let the grudges regarding your hubby last long that shall poison your relationship slowly. just give a big 'NO LIFT' signboard to your MIL when shes weird and rude on you!
we paid for our wedding pics, and film. as did they. but because we went from uk, we asked them to find us a phtographer etc. so it was the same company as the ones they had picked.
lol - nadz ! as annoying as it is - I have heard of such stories before.
You see - when we go from abroad - we definitely need help finding all the vendors.
We totally like to trust our "would-be's"....
The thing is - they are all aware of these things and they do take a bigger scoop of the "Malai" (cream)....lolllllllllllllllllllll
Nadz, MILs are not our mothers...they never will be nor do they claim to be. What you get from your mother is NOT what you will get from your MIL.
The clothes are just clothes and you wear them...they dont wear you. If you are wearing something your mother gave you, wear it with pride. Who cares what she has to say about it? You rock your outfit regardless of who gave it to you...mother or MIL. Dont get upset if she doesnt compliment you. Do you look nice to yourself? Thats all that matters.
The clothes my mother gave me were more to my taste then what my MIL gave me...that is a fact. But they're just clothes and I will get tons more in my lifetime. Plus, I wear what I want to wear regardless of who gave it to me. I wore a few things my MIL gave me and then wore what my mom gave me most of the time. Why? Because they fit me better and were more suited for the occasions I wore them on.
Who cares what anyone says? How long will they say it? How many times will they say it?
Be nice but be yourself and dont let anyone hurt your self esteem or confidence.
One more thing: what your MIL says about how you look shouldnt matter at all
hm...no one is perfect. but do you really have to tell anyones that their mother is wrong?
who are u trying to prove? what is really there to prove anyways?
even if my mother is wrong i would have never tell anyone else that she is wrong. if i have good relationship with her then i will talk to her myself and about her actions, but i will never ever try to teach her using someone else.
Nadz, here is a fair bit of advice I really hope you hang on to:
If you keep making scenes repeatedly over small things...there will come a time when your scenes will hold no value and people will stop noticing them. They will simply label you as cranky and not even look at you twice if you get upset. "Nadz is upset? Oh gosh, what else is new?".
On my wedding, my SIL and MIL didnt even say I looked nice.
My SIL ignored me completely on my mehndi and wedding day.
My MIL made cracks about my complexion quite a few times.
When my pictures came, they didnt look at them much and never even commented.
When I got dressed up to go out, she didnt say anything to me...good or bad.
The thing is, my pictures came out really nice Mashallah. My best friends spent 6 hours getting me ready with so much love and care...a comment from my MIL cant ruin that for me. My mom had the most fun at my mehndi, my sisters and I had a blast, my whole family was and is there to support me. My parents, sisters and friends loved my pictures and so did I. Thats all that really matters to me.
I never got upset about the comments, I thought about it and noticed all the little things but couldnt get myself to be angry. I know what I am and dont really need validation or approval from anyone else to continue on with my life. Its as simple as that.
Your MIL and SIL sound bitter and jealous. I get the vibe that they're not too thrilled about their brother/son marrying you. IF they behaved so rudely at the wedding and even afterwards........they must not have been to thrilled during the rishta process. You know what Reha? It wouldn't matter if the bahus is gori or sanwali or kali. It wouldn't matter if she's the most prettiest and perfect and obedient woman in the world. Such MILS and SILS .........will display a toxic attitude toward ANY girl their son marries. Even if they had picked out the bahu/bhabi themselves.......in no time they'll be picking her part. What do they gain from this? A false sense of power? It's funny how they don't realize that they're only degrading themselves by showing the new member to their family their true colors.
You're lucky that your parents and family live close to you. For Nadz.....I imagine it's more challenging because she doesn't have her parents and siblings there to encourage or support her.
I think Nadz might feel a little lonely but I dont want her to feel like its more then it really is.
I noticed all these things but forgot about them in a minute because Ive got a lot of things to be happy about and they have no control over that. My happiness is in my hands, not theirs. I am naturally an optimistic person and dont dwell on anything negative too long Alhumdulillah.
In one ear and out the other because Im wearing a beautiful outfit and Im going to have a great time whether anyone likes it or not. All that really matters is how you feel about yourself.
thanks ps, your right, its because while i was there i did feel lonely in their house. i did get along with SIL AND BIL and i even got along to an extent with MIL and FIL WAS ok too, just quiet but thats their nature. my husband mashallah is great too. but still as a new bride, no matter what, at times youll feel lonely, and at times i felt well my hsubands their family too so hes ok, its me thats the newcomer and outsider and i just felt alone…despite reassurance from BIL ( whose my best pal) and Hubby, i still felt that any tiny thing that happnd made the lonliness more paramount…i probly wouldnt have felt that way had i been here at home…
comeon we didn't even get to hear about your first night.. and you are straight out slashing the MIL -- take it easy.... MIL comes next...
so did you guys go else where for honeymoon or stay at MIL's place?
first night....lol....well let me tell you...we got home at 5am the rukhsati was at 4am.....dnt ask!!!!!!! and then the damn rasms that took an hour i had to drink milk and then they forgot to take a pic of it so had to drink again, then they forgot to film it so had to drink it again..godddddddd, all these rasms took forever...then i had to take my makeup off as well as my fake hair/pins..this took approximatly 2 hours 45 mins...so by the time i got into bed was 7.30am.....had to wake up in 4 hours for walima.....u dnt understand my pain,,i was sooo tired and exhausted...walima makeup appointment was at 1pm, i was ready by 8pm...godddddddddddddddd took 7 hoursssssssssssss bloody slow jackaassssss, then got home to find no one else ready...had to wait for them to get ready,, the function began at 10pm, again we got homer by 5am...
so yeh was a great bloody night.................:/ AND THEN again it took 2 hours 45 mins to take makeup/pins/hair off....my hair was sooooo stiff and they had backcombed it to its death.....my hair was all up in the air....none of it was on my scalp...i looked like a jin....
goddddd is this normal?? HOW DO PPL RELAX ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHTS....i dont beleive ppl do.....i wana smack someone in between their eyes, who says they did.....
no it began at 11pm.......dont ask me why.....................apparently its the new fashion there.....goddddddd its hell......esp for brides as they are ready and waiting at 8pm....when the parlours all close....
=s aww oh wells as long as u had a good time with the exception of the exhaustion! any hows how did the wedding gooo?? are u gona post pics? i think u shud open up a thread describing the event/s =D there wud be loadz of ppl dying to know details especially since u were such a regular flooder!
