In the past (I guess our parents generations) a husband was the next best thing after God. At least that’s what my Mom tells me about the times when she got married. It was just a fact of life, that you do as your husband says because he will have your best interest at heart.
Now, those days are long gone when biwi’s do exactly as their husband says. They want to work, want to be part of financial planning in the house, don’t really want to live with MIL’s, and husband’s word is definitely not the final decision in the house.
Why can't there be a happy middle ground between the two extremes? The husband and wife are partners and as such they should both be involved in all the decision making. As far as a wife waiting hand and foot on her husband, that sh*t rubs me the wrong way, if you wanted a waitress, why did you get married?
Why can't there be a happy middle ground between the two extremes? The husband and wife are partners and as such they should both be involved in all the decision making. As far as a wife waiting hand and foot on her husband, that sh*t rubs me the wrong way, if you wanted a waitress, why did you get married?
It was just a fact of life, that you do as your husband says because *he will have your best interest at heart. *
Looking at the rate of cases where women suffer abuse in the hands of their husbands and in-laws, I think we all know for a fact that not ALL husbands have their wife's best interest at heart. Heck quite often women are killed by their husbands and/or in-laws.
They want to work, want to be part of financial planning in the house, don't really want to live with MIL's, and husband's word is definitely not the final decision in the house.
I'm not quite sure why a man would NOT want his wife to be a part of the financial planning of the house or have the ability to earn money or encourage her to pursue education. Again, MANY situations in our community where something bad happens (ie. husband is disabled or dies) and the wife is left to fend for herself. Yet the husband (or anyone else!) never taught her how to be independant. And in these situations, she's totally dependant on others mercy, and MANY times the wife/kids suffer abuse as a result. I'm a big supporter of women taking care of the house and even staying at home to take care of chilcren. However, I still believe women should have the skills to be able to earn $ if that need ever arises. They should also be aware of the finances of the family so that in case something happens to the husband.....she's able to pick-up where he left off.
So is this good or bad for future marriages?
I think its a good thing in the sense that more women are learning to be independant and hopefully that will decrease their chances of being in a situation where they have no choice but to suffer abuse simply b/c they don't know how to support themselves. But as stated by aahmed, there needs to be a balance. Husband and wife are partners. It's BOTH of their lives that're affected by the decisions they make, and the children in the marriage also belong to BOTH of them.
first of al lemme laugh out hard. ya i wanted to be the most obedient wife and i am too but the problem is mi husband messes with this all. husband and wife relation is not a relation of two different individuals with different souls whn u r married you wil come to know that to keep the relation in a right track both have to work hard. successful marriages are not the result of luck but a lot of effort two put to make it successful. i want to stay quiet when he is angry but then he asks me to speak and whn i speak he wants me to stay quiet. sometime i felt he wanted me to stay quiet and then i did it too so he appreciated it but said, ok so tell me were you genuinely quiet because you realised your mistake or you were quiet because yu know i wanted you to. and when i say no i really realised my mistake so he is like, no i dont believe. then i try to explain and he says there you go again arguments and see you are not obedient. so i am all pi–ed off!
he said initially that husband and wife should have equal rights but gradually i came to know how dominant he was. so in my opinion, to have a good wife, a guy should be helpful too. it shlud not be like he expects his wife to be obedient and on his own end he doesnt put any effort to have a good relation.
still as much as i can, i try to be obedient to him and feel sooner or later, sometime maybe he will get changed or maybe i will change myself according to him.
and why would u think a working woman would not do that for her husband?
how does working woman = unable to cook or cater for husband?
I am not going to come here and rave on about my cooking. I dont need to do that.. but what i fail o understand is how the society thinks that a woman who works her ass off outside home, cannot do the same at home? Not all os us come home and fling our shoes off and order takeway..
heck, i reckon most of the women i know, love to cook... and spend a lot of spare time, or time away from work, cooking up awesome dishses at home..
ok, lets leave cooking aside..
lets talk about the husbands of these wives who work.... for a minute... no for a second, think... do u not think the husband and wife would have discussed who works and who doesnt, how much one works.. how they will manage things?
Most husband who have working wives are exceptionally appreciative of their wives working.. appreciative of them helping the hubby run the house... helping to save for bad times... and i have a lot of respect for those husbands.
Cant say much about those that dont see it from this point of view..
disobedient wives are one more addition ........**
Volume 1, Book 2, Number 28**
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
disobedient wives are one more addition ........**
Volume 1, Book 2, Number 28**
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
^ so how many times in a day to husbands point out the flaws in their wives? why are they not appreciative of what a wife does? do they ever feel the need to maybe thank her for her contribution...?
I wish sometimes, religion was viewed from a woman's point of view as well.
there are just soooo many things a woman can do wrong than can lead her to hell (and yes, all majazi khudda's will be ready to let their wife know when she is wrong), but there is hardly ever something that a majazi khudda can do wrong for him to be sent to hell..
I'd like to see men/husbands act more respectively, even remotely for a wife to treat her like her majazi khudda...
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not allowed…else go marry a chef:snooty:
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