the flip side of this thread is that guys will not really marry girls unless they are independent and have a job themselves.... in todays wold it is equal responsibility of both man and woman to work to meet their commitments......if a girl doesnt work... then where is the support for the husband.... how is he to support his family, pay the mortgage, do all the things his materialistic modern pakistani wife expects him to.....
the truth has shown itself in the reality of modern day brides who have huge expectations of their husbands.... without the willingness of the support that goes with it - either emotional, physical or financial....
perhaps a controversial post but one which the guys may relate to
My dad have been arnd the world … He had good and bad days… i remember a day, he asked my mom for transit (local buss, Suzuki or vans in pakistan) fare becoz he didnt have any money and apparently my mom didnt have any either. He didnt compromise on anything even in those days … All of my Sibblings went to english medium skool and he managed to do it coz he was willing to do it.
He was well eastablished couple of years bfr that day and couple of years after that day. Figuring out a way means u shld be willing to work hard and if u r willing to work hard u will be able to figure a way to provide basic needs to your family.
In this kind of economy i have seen ppl do really bad... loosing a job is nuthin ppl have lost there well established bussiness.
My point again is .... Having a job is not important but thats all ppl care for now a days.
sad fact is mate that women, particularly pakistani brides, tend to see what they wish to see when a man does not enough, like not have a job, not try hard enough to get a job, not be hardworking etc, but they can never see when a man is trying to do his best.....
in this economy and society it just doesnt work - if a woman wants more than the basics that her husband provides then she can always go get a job herself....
but then again wanting more is not a bad thing ... you just both have to work at it together....
and yes you are right..... the materialistic pakistani bride ( and family ) only cares about the job ----
aapka puthar kya karta hai???
taxi chalata hai !!! job se redundancy mille hai? azzey kum doondhraha hai?
Accha Asalam Alalaikum....
All of you who r against jobless guy just for a sec think this way.
Put urself in a shoes of a young guy who is done with skool. You send a rishta to a girl and they say no coz u dont have a job. You send Rishta to another gal who says yes even though u didnt have a job.
Now after she said yes you got the job in 2 weeks. Since u have a job; first gal's parents come back and tell you that they said no earlier coz guy was jobless ... but now he has a job and he fullfilled all the requirements so we changed our mind and we wud be happy to marry our girl with u.
The second gal says its okay for u to go back to those ppl coz they were ur first option anyway ? what wud u do ?
A guy shldnt be dependent on wife even if she is rich to provide basic needs.... It is his job, If he needs to dig, do labour, drive cab work at restaurant in fact any thing possible to take care of his family he shld.
Having a job cud mean that he will fullfill ur basic needs for a year bor so but therez a no gurantee after that. In this kind of economy i have seen ppl do really bad... loosing a job is nuthin ppl have lost there well established bussiness.
My point again is .... Having a job is not important but thats all ppl care for now a days.
I see your point Njdude. With having a job I meant any type of work within the legal framework, either it is driving a cab or working in an office.
You are right that A man shouldn't rely on her wife completely but there's no harm if a wife is rich and helps maintaining the finances.....she gets lots of reward for that in the hereafter.
I think that a potential rishta having a job signals security and also compliments the traditional role of man and woman in society.
However, these days having a job is neither here nor there. Depends on the situation and the current job market has cast doubts on job security for many.
Maybe this is why it is important these days to not just rely on a man's job. A woman should work too if she can and has the support/education and means to do so. Later on, after marriage if anything goes wrong or the husband is without a job, it would give the couple something to fall back on.
the flip side of this thread is that guys will not really marry girls unless they are independent and have a job themselves.... in todays wold it is equal responsibility of both man and woman to work to meet their commitments......if a girl doesnt work... then where is the support for the husband.... how is he to support his family, pay the mortgage, do all the things his materialistic modern pakistani wife expects him to.....
the truth has shown itself in the reality of modern day brides who have huge expectations of their husbands.... without the willingness of the support that goes with it - either emotional, physical or financial....
perhaps a controversial post but one which the guys may relate to
Good point...
I dont plan to make my wife work. If she is willing to she can.
However if i am required to have job bfr I marry her... Then you bet she is goin to office 9-5 even if she doesnt want to.
I see your point Njdude. With having a job I meant any type of work within the legal framework, either it is driving a cab or working in an office.
You are right that A man shouldn't rely on her wife completely but there's no harm if a wife is rich and helps maintaining the finances.....she gets lots of reward for that in the hereafter.
Offcourse she can if she is willing to, but i assumed by rich u meant... Her parents r rich and the guy is depending on that money.
I think that a potential rishta having a job signals security and also compliments the traditional role of man and woman in society.
However, these days having a job is neither here nor there. Depends on the situation and the current job market has cast doubts on job security for many.
Maybe this is why it is important these days to not just rely on a man's job. A woman should work too if she can and has the support/education and means to do so. Later on, after marriage if anything goes wrong or the husband is without a job, it would give the couple something to fall back on.
akhal ki gull ...... listen up y'all ..............
I dont plan to make my wife work. If she is willing to she can.
However if i am required to have job bfr I marry her... Then you bet she is goin to office 9-5 even if she doesnt want to.
equal opportunities - what a great concept..... when i married my inlaws couldnt give a toss what i did aslong as i looked after their child..... and thats what ive done ... she did an extra degree cos she wanted do, she got a job, but then gave it up when kids came because she wanted to - even today she can do what ever she wishes ( or not ) and i support her and she suppports me .....
not everyone is that lucky i know.... but in the end equality rules for women aswell as for men.....
All of you who r against jobless guy just for a sec think this way.
Put urself in a shoes of a young guy who is done with skool. You send a rishta to a girl and they say no coz u dont have a job. You send Rishta to another gal who says yes even though u didnt have a job.
Now after she said yes you got the job in 2 weeks. Since u have a job; first gal's parents come back and tell you that they said no earlier coz guy was jobless ... but now he has a job and he fullfilled all the requirements so we changed our mind and we wud be happy to marry our girl with u.
The second gal says its okay for u to go back to those ppl coz they were ur first option anyway ? what wud u do ?
I'd tell the first lot to sling their hook , along witjh a few choice punjabi swear words thrown in..... and then tell the second lot to sling their hook bcos they are spineless and couldnt stand up for themselves....
these r the ppl who say yes to rishta intially coz they looked at the job and when the bad time came she made it clear that she married the guy for his financial stability.
I dont think any gal will have prblm with me ... if i am financially doing good. she will be happy that she is gettin everything she wants.
However i wud a like my wife to be on my side in good and bad times... I know khali pait mohabat nahi hoti, lakin aesi mohabat ka bhi kia faida jo meri job per dependent ho ?
Generalization much?
I said lack of money.
Ever wondered how much the mother (she) hurts when her children are not able to get the education that their cousins are getting? I can give you many more examples.
Basically, a guy holding a job at the time of proposal shows that he is capable of finding one in bad times.
In an arranged marriage scenario, the primary desire of parents is the financial well being of their daughter, anyway. So, if the woman was married off for financial stability, then so be it.
Ever wondered how much the mother (she) hurts when her children are not able to get the education that their cousins are getting? I can give you many more examples.
Basically, a guy holding a job at the time of proposal shows that he is capable of finding one in bad times.
In an arranged marriage scenario, the primary desire of parents is the financial well being of their daughter, anyway. So, if the woman was married off for financial stability, then so be it.
disagree totally with this...
since when do you measure your kids edcation by other people standards - cousins or not??? do you always measure your life by what other people have?
holding a job today is no guranatee that he is capable of finding one in bad times .... he isnt a magician - some of the most talenetd people i know are out of work - and its no fault of theres and they are trying their best to rectify the situation.
this thinking of finacial stability for daughter is a lack of education matter - as a modern person in todays society those who marry daughters just for financial stability are doing their daughters a great disservice.
Ever wondered how much the mother (she) hurts when her children are not able to get the education that their cousins are getting? I can give you many more examples.
Basically, a guy holding a job at the time of proposal shows that he is capable of finding one in bad times.
In an arranged marriage scenario, the primary desire of parents is the financial well being of their daughter, anyway. So, if the woman was married off for financial stability, then so be it.
Either I was unable to undertand ur point or u were unable to understand mind.
Firstly, sorry if u thought i was hittin on u when i said "these r the people" i was rather talkin abt .....
"I'm not married but I've seen a marriage crumble only for this reason when everything else was great."
.......the ppl who let the marriage crumble becoz of financial problemz... They shld learn how to step up and support his/her spouse.
How can u gurantee that someone who has a job bfr marriage will be able to provide and food and basic education to his kids throught out the life ?
I dont agree with ur statement that "Basically, a guy holding a job at the time of proposal shows that he is capable of finding one in bad times."
why do u think all these marriages crumble .... coz guy didnt intially have a job, well for most cases the guy was employed and not anymore and thats when prblmz started.
offcourse its a good thing if guy has a job bfr marriage, but if he doesnt have a job doesnt mean he never will... Again look at the guys character not his job.
If a guy is broke but the shareefest person around, than still a woman won't marry him. At least not in today's world. But its only my observation, I might be wrong.
How will the shareef person provide for basic needs, not even talking about luxuries. YOu have to be able to at least provide basic needs of food/shelter...etc....come on.
Either I was unable to undertand ur point or u were unable to understand mind.
Firstly, sorry if u thought i was hittin on u when i said "these r the people" i was rather talkin abt .....
"I'm not married but I've seen a marriage crumble only for this reason when everything else was great."
.......the ppl who let the marriage crumble becoz of financial problemz... They shld learn how to step up and support his/her spouse.
How can u gurantee that someone who has a job bfr marriage will be able to provide and food and basic education to his kids throught out the life ?
I dont agree with ur statement that "Basically, a guy holding a job at the time of proposal shows that he is capable of finding one in bad times."
why do u think all these marriages crumble .... coz guy didnt intially have a job, well for most cases the guy was employed and not anymore and thats when prblmz started.
offcourse its a good thing if guy has a job bfr marriage, but if he doesnt have a job doesnt mean he never will... Again look at the guys character not his job.
A guy who doesnt' work for a long time can slowly sink into depression and as a result become bitter, nasty, and treat others unfairly and unkindly.....he may regret his past choices and blame the wife for everything. I dont know about you but that takes a toll on married life.
It's not just losing a job, it's the aftermath of not being able to support or provide for your family that ruins a marriage.
**A guy who doesnt' work for a long time can slowly sink into depression and as a result become bitter, nasty, and treat others unfairly and unkindly.....he may regret his past choices and blame the wife for everything. I dont know about you but that takes a toll on married life.
It's not just losing a job, it's the aftermath of not being able to support or provide for your family that ruins a marriage.**
I dunt get how cud this mean that a person with job bfr marriage wudnt go through these days .......
I have seen ppl getting really frustrated over not having a job and they do become very sensitive too. After spending so much time in uni not having a job when u graduate will surely hurt you....
But same guy then gets up and stabalizes himself financially... Now he has seen tough times and will be ready for them in future... The guy who always had job might go totally insane after he looses is job and even blame wife "tum hi manhoos ho"
u cant compare someonez capabilities by askin him if he has a job or not.