not having a job

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: not having a job

for some women money might be their top and **only **priority. But for many women, I feel that they look for several qualities......shareefness and security.

22

Re: not having a job

it's easy for everyone to be idealistic and stuff, but try actually BEING in a marriage where the husband doesn't work for a good amount of time.... and then talk about all this romantic crap.

23

Re: not having a job

Yes he should, because what's the hurry to get married for him? Why can't he just wait till he finds a job? It's not like it would take years to find a job...maybe months at most.

24

Re: not having a job

well i think its better if guy work for at least a year before marrige....if he has his own money than he can do anything he wants at the wedding and yea i think a guy should first start working than get marry....

well my fiance is working and saving money because he thinks his parents wont spend much money on his wedding because they are kind of kanjos (+ his dad already told him that if he wants to get married than should save him self) and he wants a perfect wedding so thats why he is saving so at our wedding he can do what ever he or i want.....

his elder brother was not working at the time of wedding...he finnished school and got married at age 20...he said he will continue his studies and work also after marrige.......his wedding was really simple and they didnt even went for honey moon because my sasur said he dont have any more money and my jeeth pocket was empty....and now his income is really low because he didnt had any qualification and is having lots of financial problems...

25

i do understand ur point sara..

but ive got to say, even a hubby doesnt have a job, there are a lot of other things that can make a marriage go wrong..

losing a job, or not being able to find one after one gets married, can really make things difficult for a couple... ive never doubted that.

Here, I am only wondering, what the reasons are behind someone wanting only a guy who has a job.

Yes it shows security and stability, but as a lot of us know, that stability can be snatched away quite abruptly..

A job is very important... ive never doubted that. What, i dont agree with is that the guy MUST have a job at the point of rishta seeking... not when they are tying the knot.

26

naila,

some people dont want a big wedding..

some peopel cant afford it. That's not their fault

qualifications is different to not having a job...

27

Re: not having a job

i won't marry if a guy won't hav a job. getting engaged to a person struggling is ok but marrying a person with no job is not very sensible in my eyes. how would u run ur house n handle ur everyday expenses? depend on his family, depend on ur family or the girl start earning herself? in all 3 cases probs will arise. tensions make relationship bitter n sometimes weak esp when the relation is so new.
whats the hurry to marry b4 a guy is well settled?
yes if he has a job n loses it right after marriage than thats Allah's will n his way to test us but not a decision that I made.

Punjabi Only... :D
Punjabi Only... :D
28

I can't agree more. It's easy to be idealistic and believe in the goodness of people until you experience the lack of money. I'm not married but I've seen a marriage crumble only for this reason when everything else was great.

29

^ again what im talking about is the initial stage.. not the edding stage nor after getting married.

I truely understand the difficulty of things after marriage.

30

Re: not having a job

it'd be silly to marry a penniless guy.

31

Re: not having a job

I dunt think Job is that big of deal... What if he has a job and he loses it with in couple of months of marriage ?

Those of u who think job is important, How can u even be sure that u said yes to rishta coz u found a nice guy .... U shld rather agree that u found a nice guy with nice job. therez nuthing wrong with that but the fact that nice guy will be there for u but nice job might not be there for too long.

Job ur hubby does might be as important to u as ur hubby ?

On the other hand gals who r ready to marry a nice guy without carring much abt his job are totally tellin that they r marryin the guy for who is not for what he does.

32

Then that's Kismet, not your fault.

At least you can tell that this person had a job and thus he's able to work.

33

Re: not having a job

And he should wanna work too. Lazy men (God forbid) are the worst

34

these r the ppl who say yes to rishta intially coz they looked at the job and when the bad time came she made it clear that she married the guy for his financial stability.

I dont think any gal will have prblm with me ... if i am financially doing good. she will be happy that she is gettin everything she wants.

However i wud a like my wife to be on my side in good and bad times... I know khali pait mohabat nahi hoti, lakin aesi mohabat ka bhi kia faida jo meri job per dependent ho ?

35

A person is atleast 20 + when he sends rishta, u can easily tell how hardworking he is from his past, He doesnt have to have a job to prove it.

36

Re: not having a job

So you mean the job aspect shouldn't be so important when* seeking* proposals - and that may change at the time of the actual wedding, i.e. he shouldn't get married if he doesn't have a job?

37

Re: not having a job

A man has to be able to provide for the basic needs of food, clothing and a place to live for her wife unless wife herself is a rich person to help her hubby with the expances.

Also, whatever happenes after the marriage is another topic but accept it or not it's woman's right to get a divorce if her husband can't fulfil her basic needs.

38

Nope u r off.... Job Aspect shldnt be important...... Job Anany janay wali cheez hai, ajj hai kal nahi.

Rather then asking does guy have a job ? One shld try to find out how hard working he is and how capable he is. If he is hardworking and doesnt have a job, he will figure a way to take care of his family....

39

Re: not having a job

I was asking sadzzz.

But now that you bring it up - job aspect shouldn’t be important? Are you kidding me. All the hard-workingess and capability talks, anyone can BS those, how we know you’re a man who’d own upto responsbility is if you are capable of securing yourself a job. Period.

What does ‘figure out a way to take care of his family’ mean? :aq:

40

A guy shldnt be dependent on wife even if she is rich to provide basic needs.... It is his job, If he needs to dig, do labour, drive cab work at restaurant in fact any thing possible to take care of his family he shld.

Having a job cud mean that he will fullfill ur basic needs for a year bor so but therez a no gurantee after that. In this kind of economy i have seen ppl do really bad... loosing a job is nuthin ppl have lost there well established bussiness.

My point again is .... Having a job is not important but thats all ppl care for now a days.