Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
Some men need to be taught and shown the Ropes of Romance. :) My best friend went through this with her husband when she got married. Now, he knows where to go to buy jewelry, flowers, etc.
Talk to him and tell him you have a romantic side to you he is supposed to be fulfilling...lol. And, show him things you like...dont just leave it to him to figure out. In the beginning hold his hand, give him the things he needs to make you happy and then let him go!
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
give him some ecstacy , he"ll turn around ;)
If a person doesn't love you "the way" you want him to, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you with all that he has to offer from his heart and soul. Men usually don't express too much of their romantic side, either due to shyness or they think their emotions might lose value after putting them in words (which are never enough to express their true emotions). This psychology might also be due to the culture and environment they grow in where women are more emotionally expressive then men and get more excited by words of love. But this might vary from case to case depending upon an individual's way of thinking. Some might even have a thinking that it would look fake if they put their emotions to words.
It’s quite natural to become sad, if he is not as enthusiastic about expressing romance as much you are. It is understandable that you would want him to do as many romantic things as you are doing, but keeping score on romantic acts of both and comparing them in a relationships is not a good idea. We are mostly hurt after we develop expectations (which is natural) in return of our romantic gestures.
To become a romantic person can not be taught by insisting or reminding him to behave in a certain manner, because if he is romantic only because he has to, then it is an unnatural romance! Romantic people mostly behave romantically just to make their partner happy and satisfy their urge of expressing their love irrespective of their partner's response. If making your husband happy is not an enough of a reward for you, it might be a good idea to reassess why you want to add more romance to your relationship. If it’s to change who your partner is or to get something back from him, you’re probably concentrating on romance for the wrong reasons. If he is not as romantic as you are and if you would like to change that, it’s better to lead by example than to try to make him feel bad about it. **Romance is only to love your partner for who they are, without demanding them to change their personality, but to show patience while growing together with one's spouse. ***If you are able to make a romantic gesture which he has enjoyed, let his smile and happiness be your reward.* Don’t ever start keeping track of how many times he is romantic with you or compare who is the most romantic! because that would make him feel guilty. Lead by example, add some small, modest romantic acts to your daily routine, but don’t overdo it or make him feel overwhelmed. Making positive changes in a long-term relationship can take some time, and sometimes patience is the best quality to have when trying to make him more romantic. Introduce romance into your life slowly as it is a step by step process. If you remain patient inshaAllah a time will come when you may be surprised to find him beginning to understand your feelings and would act accordingly in order to make you happy. *Besides that sincere prayers do wonders in improving our relationship the way we want it to develop, by the grace and mercy of Allah (swt).
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May Allah (swt) bless our marriage with "barakah" and bless us with the wisdom to grow together with our life partner in a way that is satisfactory for both.
My hubby is very nice.. but he is not romantic at all.. tell me what to do.. i dont want him to sing love songs for me but at least i deserve a text msg of " i miss u" etc when he is away or i go living to my mom's place for a day or two..
Meher dear ma hubby is somewhat like urs he is so not romantic....if i'm in a mode he'll start talking about how he got a patient who sallowed poison and after working hard to save her life she died in front of him....or how a young guy was shot by someone and he had to take care of the case uufffff......sara mode hi karab ho jata hai....
but u can do what i do....if i am talking to him on the phone and he says Kudah Hafiz in reply i say aur? and he asks 'aur keya? and i keep asking him ke "app kuch kehna bhool rahe hain" ;) and dont let him hang up till he says "i love u" and when he asks me to say the same thing to him i jst say "ap ko dair ho rahi hai patient wait kar rahe hoon ga and hang up" ;) i let his craving grow
hope it help u
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
in the pind women don't say "i love u" to their husbands, how can u expect husbands to say that
in the pind women don't say "i love u" to their husbands
So they say it in punjabi........????
What's the difference? :D
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
^ chappal se?
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
cricket but we r not living in a pind.....k i guess i'm in a pind of canada but i still do say it :P
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
pind or no pind, i too think that you should accept him as he is and move on alright! we're not going to change.
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
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why is he non romantic? is he older and more mature than you?
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what does being "mature" have to do with it, "mature" men cant be romantic?
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
He may just not be a verbally expressive guy.Can you feel his love for you in his actions. Sometimes men's way of going the exrta mile is their way of showing how much they love you rather then those words.You gotta admit Actions speak luder then words...what if he was one of em shair types who said hazar qaseedeh's about you but at the end of the day expected you to rub his feet and hands as he did all of this for "you"
Look at the things that you love more about him..:), and these things would would look mean less to you .Good luck
Now that is a nice suggestion , send him to a puppy training school. They do a good job at training non affectionate kind to show their love by licking your shoes.
LOL.....its true what others have said actions speak louder than words he might be an action man!
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
every man hav som hidden God gifted qualities n som weaknesses too , u shd expose his his hidden qualities n hide his weaknesses then u wont need these kinda fairy romantic n drameee dialogue :p
meher i am in the exact stituation as you its going to be nearly 2 yrs now of our marriage and yet my husband is so unromantic but he is a very nice husband...
i want to be a bit romantic but he says he cant change himself even i tried alot to chnage him well i guess u gotta have patience and change urself i guess tht is wot i am doing......
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
The very common needs that a man wants doesn't involve romance. We are simple souls. Let us be like that.
Re: Non Romantic Husband ! !
Maher - I think you need to speak these feelings to your husband. Poeple have different ways of expressing their thought and their feelings and I guess smiling is one of his. I think you need to tell him that he needs to be more open and possibly more physical with you, in regards to showing you how he feels. I guess when you get to a point where you know his romantic gestures, which i am sure at the moment doesnt look obvious - things will work out for you. Tell him that you need to hear the words I love you, because even though you know that he loves you - its human nature to want to hear those words and feel them and only then can you know that this is a confirmation that this person really does love you. My husband is romantic - and yes he does sing his pashto songs to me, which to be honest I find quite cheesy, but i dont want to put him off, because for him thats his form of expression to say 'i love you'. I guess i have to get used to his singing - but even that is rare, especially if his friends are around. Good luck!!!
I agree buy a magic wand they sell at hobby store. That will do its magic and he will change.
Now that is a nice suggestion , send him to a puppy training school. They do a good job at training non affectionate kind to show their love by licking your shoes.
LOL!!!!!!
why can't you frikken women accept a man the way he is? Why are you always trying to change the poor fellow? There's nothing wrong with this guy, it's just the way he is.
You took the words right out of my mouth! I mean seriously, WTH! What is up with so many expectations that women have from their husbands these days. Give us a frikken break! I don't see any threads by guys where they want to change the way their wives behave/act. I seriously hope that the thread opener's marriage was an arranged marriage and she did NOT know that her husband is "unromantic" before she got married.
LOL!!!!!!
You took the words right out of my mouth! I mean seriously, WTH! What is up with so many expectations that women have from their husbands these days. Give us a frikken break! I don't see any threads by guys where they want to change the way their wives behave/act. I seriously hope that the thread opener's marriage was an arranged marriage and she did NOT know that her husband is "unromantic" before she got married.
That's cos it doesn't take a lot to make a man happy lol, women are more complex!
