If you..as a parent… are not particularly religious, don’t consider yourself to be so devoted out of laziness/out of disillusionment, et cetera… what do you do with your children? Do you try to give them a decent Islamic education, have htem read Quran, learn to pray, fast, teach them the basics ya know, or just ignore it? What if you yourself are not particularly knowledgeable to begin with but want them to learn? how do you go about teaching them? After all, you don’t want your kids to think “well ammi/daddy don’t follow/don’t know, so why should I care?” IMO as educated, mature adults, we can believe in whatever, but when it comes to our children, shouldnt’ we try to impart on them as much knowledge as possible, even if we don’t follow it?
Re: Non-religious parents
yep, we should.... impart as much as we can to the next generation.
but parents should realise that one day their kids r going to grow up and question everything... theyr'e gonna want to have a BF/GF and their parents will be like "no, its not allowed in our religion".... a kid can easily remark by saying to thier Mum: "islam doesn't allow you to show ur hair/ figure infront of other men, but u do anyway! so if u can do stuff outside the boundaries set by islam, so can we" but considering kids these days, they will probably do all this behind their parents back bcoz theyv'e grown up with hypcracy, so now its their turn to be a hypocrite (look like an angel on the outside, but a devil on the inside) :(
our youth r our future, we should do whatever we can to invest in their future... May Allah help us all!
Wassalam
Re: Non-religious parents
^ Good point :k:
Re: Non-religious parents
If you..as a parent... are not particularly religious, don't consider yourself to be so devoted out of laziness/out of disillusionment, et cetera... what do you do with your children? Do you try to give them a decent Islamic education, have htem read Quran, learn to pray, fast, teach them the basics ya know, or just ignore it? What if you yourself are not particularly knowledgeable to begin with but want them to learn? how do you go about teaching them? After all, you don't want your kids to think "well ammi/daddy don't follow/don't know, so why should I care?" IMO as educated, mature adults, we can believe in whatever, but when it comes to our children, shouldnt' we try to impart on them as much knowledge as possible, even if we don't follow it?
You are right, the kids should have all the help they can get about the religion but shouldnt they get exposure to the other possibilities as well.. like the anti religion. Because if you inject them with just one ideology, that will be a biased input with hypocracy written all over it as you dont follow the religion yourself.
So if I was you, I would educate them with all the possibilities and let them decide or maybe help them decide by answering their questions.
Re: Non-religious parents
Great topic!
I think it is the responsibility of parents to show their children the religious tradition. It should be left to child to formulate his/her own thoughts by ages 18-25. Even if the parents chose a different path, does not absolve them of the responsibilities.
My parents, although coming from a very archaic tribal system, are quite 'liberal,' dare I say not too religious. I love and respect them but I decided on a different path. My grandparents on both sides (May Allah bless their souls) were much more religious and I learned the Quran and about Islam from my grandmother. My parents did not prevent me from taking an interest in religion and being more conservative than they are.
So returning to the topic at hand, parents should be the biggest influences in a child's life, but they must also step back when it comes to religion.
Re: Non-religious parents
I truly believe in the saying "practice what you preach" The best way to teach your kids about Islam is by setting an example and practicing it yourself. So if you arent the best Muslim and/or you arent very knowledgeable about it but you want your kids to be.....then it's time you make a change.
Re: Non-religious parents
How many people want their children to be different from themselves? Unfortunately, most non-religious parents I have seen are concerned with preventing their children from becoming “too religious”, which really means stopping them from being religious at all 
Re: Non-religious parents
so i was a lot less relegious before becoming a mom.. but now just becuase i want best ‘best’ for my kids.. i am more relegious .. so they follow me..
Re: Non-religious parents
You can educate your kids on islam as much as you would like, but if you really want them to practice Islam as a lifestyle and not as a burden then you have to change yourself first. Parents are their kids' idols and whatever parents do the kids will naturally emulate. If you feel that your kids should pray salat and read the Holy Quran regularly (or atleast make a conscious effort to) the best way to teach them this consciousness is to make sure they see you doing the same regularly.
I respect your decision to give your kids a fair chance at growing up muslim, lots of muslim kids in the west dont even get that chance from their parents. Whenever you have a chance, sit down and make a list of things you would want your kids to do/not do. Then ask yourself do you do/not do those things yourself? If the answer is negative then think about changing yourself first before passing out orders to your kids. Just keep in mind that sending them off to quran classes and islamic schools will teach them the theory but to put it all in practice they will always come back to look at their parent's example.
When i was 10 something i once saw in this one family the dad yelling to his 24 something daughter to go pray salat and read quran. She promptly yelled back at him saying that he has no right to tell her to do that since he himself doesnt pray salat or read the quran. I didnt know what she meant back then but soon it made alot of sense.
One more thing ive noticed and i firmly believe in is that when kids learn something from their parents they show alot of interest in that topic. Be it art, religion, maths, science, learning to read arabic/urdu, etc etc. Kids love it when parents stop being a parent and assume the role of a friend/teacher instead.
Ofcourse given our current lifestyles all of the above requires major dedication, time commitment and financial planning in many cases. Its not easy but its not impossible either.
Re: Non-religious parents
Cheegum leading be example and talking to kids is good, but it has to be done right. If parents become too pushy then the kids may just rebel. Just because the parents do something and ask the kids to do it does not mean the kids would do it too.
Its not just what you do and whatyou say but also how you say. thats all a parent can do.
but kids dont live in a vacuum, they ahve many other infuences as well, and how they go about their life is going to depend on all influences.
Re: Non-religious parents
The best solution is to send your kids to the local madrassa- experts know the best. Moulvis rock!!!
Re: Non-religious parents
I have seen this in many families but I have also seen parents that dont pray or fast themselves but they make or want their children to pray/fast etc?
Re: Non-religious parents
Cheegum leading be example and talking to kids is good, but it has to be done right. If parents become too pushy then the kids may just rebel. Just because the parents do something and ask the kids to do it does not mean the kids would do it too.
Its not just what you do and whatyou say but also how you say. thats all a parent can do.
but kids dont live in a vacuum, they ahve many other infuences as well, and how they go about their life is going to depend on all influences.
that is very true^
There are some people that go astray at some point in their life but they end up going back to the right path or they at least make a conscious effort to....those are usually the people that have had a strong religious background and/or major parental influences in their life. So setting a good example for your children may make a difference in the end.
Re: Non-religious parents
Cheegum leading be example and talking to kids is good, but it has to be done right. If parents become too pushy then the kids may just rebel. Just because the parents do something and ask the kids to do it does not mean the kids would do it too.
Its not just what you do and whatyou say but also how you say. thats all a parent can do.
but kids dont live in a vacuum, they ahve many other infuences as well, and how they go about their life is going to depend on all influences.
Bilkul sahi kaha. Pushy is not the answer, it has to be done in a correct manner. But even the correct manner might not always work if the parents dont practice what they preach.
As for outside influences, it is again upto the parents to try and control what those influences are (and in a correct manner too) and this all depends on the parents' dedication. After all, it is Allah mian who has put us in this time and age when we could have been living in, say, more pious times?
I do believe that Allah doesn't care which way our kids end up, thats something He'll take up with them. What He cares more though is weather we tried to give our kids the best or not.
Re: Non-religious parents
Bilkul sahi kaha. Pushy is not the answer, it has to be done in a correct manner. But even the correct manner might not always work if the parents dont practice what they preach.
As for outside influences, it is again upto the parents to try and control what those influences are (and in a correct manner too) and this all depends on the parents' dedication. After all, it is Allah mian who has put us in this time and age when we could have been living in, say, more pious times?
I do believe that Allah doesn't care which way our kids end up, thats something He'll take up with them. What He cares more though is weather we tried to give our kids the best or not.
exactly....the best especially when it comes to deen.
Re: Non-religious parents
If the parent does not practice the religion on a regular basis then it is less likely that a young child is, but there are things that you can do. Take your child to Islamic school every Sunday, try to pray together as a family at least a few times a week, read Quran together every once in awhile, and teach what you can.
It's never too late for an adult to become educated about Islam. Most masjids have halaqas and other programs for adults. Now is the ideal time to take these, before you have children. Our sunday school runs classes for adults while the kids are there on Sunday, so babysitting is no excuse.
Re: Non-religious parents
This can happen when parents are willing to also practice themselves what they preach to children, but lack "Enough will power" to do so.
Two options;
Pray to Allah with tears of sincerity to bless "them" (parents and children) with strength and will to follow all the good that they would like to see in their family
Make it clear to their children through words and actions that they are also "sincerely trying their level best" to follow themselves what they preach, but haven't yet achieved enough will power to do so.
Having said that, parents should never force their children to do anything but teach them with "Hikmah" (wisdom)
Re: Non-religious parents
The best solution is to send your kids to the local madrassa- experts know the best. Moulvis rock!!!
Sending ur kids to madrassa is one option not the best solution, but do u think ur kids are going to follow those teachings without seeing the implementations in their own home? And u just cannot send them to ANY of the madarasa in ur area without even knowing wat are they preachING..wat if they [FONT='Times New Roman']expertise in creating SUICIDE BOMBERS????
Re: Non-religious parents
^ Err you do realize that moin.uq.atiq is trying to be sarcastic right? Its his way of getting attention.
Re: Non-religious parents
she’s new…us bechari ko kya patha 