Re: Non-Muslim first name
What do you mean? I guess I volunteered too much information. I’m hoping GS is anonymous.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
She means you’re being over the top or dramatic… which… I mean… is a little true :p… it’s just a name and there are a million other things to focus on at the beginning of (and during) a marriage that are of far more importance. Take a deep breath and move on from it. Start thinking about something fun… like how you’re going to decorate your home together or what sort of long term financial goals you two want to accomplish…
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Oh okie. I’m the queen of self sabotage, obsessing over the tiny things, and freaking out about life long commitment. Will try my hardest to move on from it. :k:
Re: Non-Muslim first name
I am just trying to remember a Roberto Ahmed that I have met once
2 Likes
Re: Non-Muslim first name
i hardly came across anyone who can give up just “Anything” for the other person. but if you are saying you can give up anything for this person, then his name should be the first thing you should give up on.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
I have an American first name cause my Mom named me. I also have a Pakistani name that was given to me by my dadi for which we had to go through name change in Pakistan when I lived there. Since I am back in the US and name change here is more than just getting an affidavit I decided to keep my american name. My whole family in Pakistan including my wife calls me that when talking in urdu and switches it back and forth depending on who she is talking to. I asked but she said it doesn’t bother her.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
How does it feel having two very different first names? Do you feel closer to one name more than the other since your dadi named you the Pakistani one?
Does it bother you that your wife never calls you by your non-Pakistani first name?
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Good question :k:
I have a nick name and it makes me more comfortable when someone (whom I know well) calls me with that. Maybe because those who call me with that name are my well-wishers. Your questions are interesting indeed.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Pakistan mein hr bnde k do naam hain, aur sewaey mian biwi k koi bhi aik dusre ko real name se nae bulata 
You can call him by any good name that he likes, not necessarily his real name, I think its ok…
Wese bhi shadi k bd biwi ki hi chalti hai, jo marzi naam rakh dena 
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Do you just not like the name, or dislike that it isn’t a typically Muslim name?
If it’s the former, maybe try a shortened form or nicknames?
If it’s the latter, remember that we are allowed any names, so long as the name holds a nice meaning.
Your husband probably feels like a Roberto having been one all his life - how would he feel if he realised your embarrassment at his very name?
You only really have two options, in my opinion, 1) learn to like his name, or 2) abbreviate his name or give him a nickname that ‘sticks’. But don’t tell him his name embarrasses you - that won’t be kind.
I haven’t read your entire thread, so I apologise if I’ve missed something major.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
OMG his first name doesn’t embarrass me, I love him but it’s a representation of a difference between us. Something that could cause fights and arguments.
I don’t feel that we are the same when I say his first name, I feel the closeness when I say his last name because the two represent two vastly different cultures. Yes there are Muslims with non-Muslim names but there are also those that change their names to Muslim ones because they want to integrate into the community and not feel different.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Since when are two people (even of the same exact ethnicity and background) the “same”..? Even they would have differences between them. You could view his first name as a “divider” …that’s one way to look at it. Or you can view his name and yours as a “uniter” of two different cultures, as a representation that such a “union” or merging…is possible. Kya khayal hai? If you think about it, most people (when they look at the two of you) will wonder…“How did they end up together? What’s their story?” And this natural curiosity would take place before they even find out what your respective names are. And it’s kinda cool. Different can be refreshing, intriguing. Or maybe you’re worried because this difference creates subconscious or conscious fear of the relationship not working out? I dunno.
If it doesn’t bother him when you use his last name, then just stick to that. To my knowledge even converts to Islam are not required to change their names. He may or may not want to change his name at a later point. Roberto has a nice meaning; bright and shining.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Would it bother you if your SO’s name is Allah Rakhi or lets say charlotte batool? 
Re: Non-Muslim first name
why would a name cause fights?
When you marry someone from a different race/culture then you learn to love, accept and appreciate their culture.
If I married a white dude who wanted me to change my name so it sounded less desi I would be pissed. Marrying or being in a relationship with someone out of your culture takes a different level of maturity. It includes comfort in your own skin as well as being open minded enough to let the other person be themselves and take pride in who they are and their heritage.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Lol, Charlotte Batool still kinda sounds non-Desi. And I suspect that Third String is not too familiar with the outdated name, Batool. He’ll pronounce it as “Buhteewwl” and people will think it’s European.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
For example mitthoo?
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Lol the guy is just paki with an italian grandmama
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Depends biwi kitne ghussey/muhabbat wali hai 
Re: Non-Muslim first name
I feel it flows. I usually would use my American name when I speaking in English and my Pakistani name when I am talking in Urdu. Yes, I do. I loved my dadi very very much!
No, it doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t like saying my American name when we speak in Urdu.
Re: Non-Muslim first name
Just call him by his surname then, and try not to think of the first name being a representation of you being ‘different’ from each other. My dad has a full-on proper Pakistani name, but for some reason he’s always been known by his surname everywhere (workplace, family friends etc). Very few of our friends/acquaintances even know his first name - they all either know his surname, or his nickname that my mum calls him (which, thankfully, is not a cheesy title, and just another name).
With time, I suspect you’ll learn to like his first name, as we all learn to enjoy the little differences and perks that make a person.