Re: Non-mahrem men living with you
Peace Sister amana
Let me first congradulate you to your attraction to Islamic values and may Allah (SWT) give you and your family wisdom and strength to uphold them.
You should also be aware that those who make decisions to become Islamic are subject to trials ... after making the decision to 'go good' it will not go untested. Consider this a test for you and your immediate family. So be steadfast in your decisions.
Initially let your in-laws know (as you already have done) that Islamic manners do not permit the living together of non-mahram and that Pakistani culture borrows its values from Hindu culture in that specific respect. If they do not buy this and accuse you of being "dirty minded", then reply with the answer "if you believe that I am dirty minded then you should not let him (your hubby's cousin) come here for his own safety and chastity, why do you (your in-laws) want a Pakistani boy to join a family where the woman has a 'dirty mind'? ...". .
^
This is plain wrong ...
It is purely bad idea to go full frontal against Pakistani mindset. And Using Islam's yard stick is also not going to work because these pakistani in-laws are not going budge in. One KarRara answer you can hear from them :
*Jumma jumma aaath din howey nahi musalmaan howey our chali hai hamey islam sikhaney *
No offense to Ms Amina , You are right in all respects but you need to learn some politics. You need to handle this case you need to think like a politician.
Becasue you are in a delicate positions, dont broadcast the message that you are arrogent or too stringent and using Islam as an excuse for your un-welcoming attitude.
I say Dont discuss anything further with your relatives. Let him come over. Be hospitable and kind. Your husband should help him around with things and make him feel at home. Then make arrangements that he is able to settle at some other place. Let him be your spokeman after a while.
Please note an important aspect of pakistani society. We are generally very hospitable people. We feel genuinely happy to entertain guests.
Please dont give wrong signals from your end.