No, you must not get divorced!

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Who said that "people who have dead family are up the creek?"

My parents died a few years ago, who never got the chance to see any of their three children be married. Needless to say were all still unmarried! Not only that we dont have a single relative in the uk!

Ive been reading various comments with interest, I can understand and see all points of views from different perspectives. However, divorce doesnt just crop up. It takes time before anyone comes out with the term divorce.

(Whether its a slow form of indirect abuse, physical abuse or even mental abuse)

Violence, abuse and disrespect is not a means for getting back . If your a wise person you will know what will make he or she ticks. And managed a situation.

I think a lot has to do with you as an individual. If you can respect yourself and make sound decisions....and make it known without saying anything, then everyone will know the bounderies.

Im glad my parents instilled good values and good judgement! I can say that whether you have parents or whether you dont you are the one or should i say both of you are the ones that can make or break it- in all the comments ive been reading i have not come accross anyone mentioning "communication"

Maybe instead of being abusive and getting back at each other or so called men demoralising their wives. Good communication is the key to a happy marriage.

But then again everyones situation is different.... who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

India sets Dec 26 deadline for Pakistan.
India sets Dec 26 deadline for Pakistan.
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Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Even if a woman with children gets a divorce from her abusive husband she never really gets rid of him and completely stops contact because the children exist and they are always going to connect her to her ex husband. So she would have to see his face even after the divorce whether she likes it or not.

i feel really sorry for those women who have verbally abusive husbands. It's sad that ever since we are little girls aside from "what am i going to be when i grow up", we also think about our wedding and marriage and our dream guy. And then after all the dreaming a woman ends up with a really horrible husband far from the dream guy she imagined.:(

India sets Dec 26 deadline for Pakistan.
63

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

:teary1:

64

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

All this talk of women getting abused. Ever look at the other side of the story ?

Women can abuse too....

65

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

and what u have to say abt somebody who had been thru one divorce and again forced to land into a total **** ......a loveless, abusive marraige where u r reminded every day that u r already divorced once and cant afford it twice!!
is this somebody, not entitled to live happily or by her choice ever.
who to look upto...society, culture,parents...or religion?

66

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Its a hard job marriage and this thread is puttin me off it...Ok jokes aside when you get married and realise it's not working how hard can you try to keep it together for other people?

I know someone who got married to a woman he didn't know very well, everything seemed fine on the surface, then a month later the problems started. Turned out they were total opposites of each other...cut a long story short the guys family didn't want him to divorce the girl even though they knew he didn't get along with her. They were adamant that he make it work....it lasted for 4 yrs but then because of the extreme arguments the guy couldn't handle it and they divorced...

It teaches us...

Get to know someone and find out about them extensively before marriage....even then things are not in our control....

67

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Yeah definitely right! Mainly because there are a lot of people that are "wolves in sheeps' clothing" if you know what I mean. The kind of people that like to show their outside appearance to be just wonderful. So you only know how a person really is until you live with that person or are exposed to the real him or her.

I knew one guy who just seemed like a very sweet, innocent person. He seemed like the kind of person you could tell anything to and he would do these nice deeds for other people. But unfortunately, I found out that with his family(wife and kids) he was a complete jerk. He treated his wife like crap and was very emotionally hurtful to her. I guess he put all of his stress out on her but to other people he was the face of innocence.

68

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Sometimes they just fool themselves into thinking they're happy? And they wake up 20 years later and realize they're not, but by that time they think its too late to leave the relationship because they may be unhappy, but at least they know the person, and are afraid of what might happen to them if they're on their own?

Besides statistics show that there is a higher frequency of men getting married 3-5 years after the divorce than a woman. Statistics also show that marriage benefits the man more than the woman, but i dont know about that one.

69

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Skimming thru all these post i feel like that all men are evil and all women are being tortured.. and there is no point in getting married for the girl... and in this way men will suffer which will be just for them.

i personally believe that if 10 marriages are going sour than in these 10 bad relation u will find that equal number of women are cause for a bad marriage as of the men... even in desi culture...

The second point which is why divorce is thought to be such a no no by everbody is cuz nobody likes to marry with a divorceee... i mean other day i was thinking seriously abt it can i really marry a divorcee... i don't know why this thought came into my mind but it just sneaked in... and i realised that it will be really a tough thing to go with it... cuz u feel that

1) one who has got divorced is not very comprimising person...
2) ones u get a divorce than it makes u more bold and more aggressive ... in simple words jhaka khul jata hai.

I am not saying that in every case this is true... may be its not true in any case... But this is wot i thought will be the reason for me not to marry a divorcee... but if u will think abt why u don;t want to marry a divorcee than u will realise these issues. These are for both men and women... although they become more troublesome for women.

Life in the later stage do need a partner.. i have seen husband helping their wifes to an extent where one couldn;t have imagined and same is true for the wifes helping their husband in tough times in later stages of their marriages.

It really amazes me that how accurately Islam has balanced it by saying such a small thing that it is one of the disliked thing by Allah but nonetheless allowed.

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Re: No, you must not get divorced!

life is too short to put up with so much bull****s...i agree, if i get another chance to live my life over i will definitely not marry, instead will buy shoes or build ships or build top notch hotels....ya that sure sounds better than silly old marriage.

71

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

I personally believe the numbers will be more skewed 7/3; desi culture or otherwise.

Tum ho Tho
72

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Whoever says this is an idiot, if your sure you want to get a divorce, and things between you two can't be worked out, go for it, Allah swt tells us this in the Quran, and desi culture is meaningless when you have permission from Allah swt, but know that it'll be tough for you get remarried.

73

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Please remove the "can" from the above.