No, you must not get divorced!

[Sadiyah]

I fail to understand why divorce is such a taboo in desi culture. Either it is me whose logic and understanding is flawed or of desis in general.

Yes, I understand divorce is something that is to be use as a last resort and not something to be played around with. However, why should one be forced into a bad marriage, especially women.

I see so many women mistreated right by their husbands, but still live with them as if it’s no big deal. They don’t get the respect and love they deserve. Often they are verbally and emotionally abused, but they seem to be okay with it. I wonder if they sad and depressed.

What does one get out of such marriage where there really is no love and compassion other than knowing that they have a husband to live with (culturally mard ka hona bohat zaroori hai otherwise desi people will treat you like crap)?

I feel many would be better off themselves or with someone else rather than who they are currently with. I can’t help, but feel bad for such marriages.

I just don’t feel anyone should remain in a bad marriage and I see it happening amongst desis all the time.

Given that I’m rather short tempered and like things my way or in done in fair manner, I’m often reminded that I should be able to compromise. I understand that marriage does require compromise, but why always on a woman’s part?

I find it sad the way desis are so against divorces, but all up for bad marriages. Yes, your husband could be bad and what not, but you gotta compromise. What is one supposed to get out such a marriage? Where is the internal peace and happiness?

Moreover, this concept is further reiterated and ingrained by TV, adults, and the elderly.

I guess I’m confused and unable to find an answer.

PS. Sorry for being haphazard. My post got wiped, so I had to start all over again.

[Barfee]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

I dont like divorces either but I would rather be alone than unhappy. Some women would rather have someone, better than nothing type of a thing. I know most desi women aren't brought up to support themselves financially or emotionally and that is the main reason.

[aishaA]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

It is not Islamically allowed that a man mistreat his wife. If he does mistreat her, he isn't a proper Muslim and hence we don't care about what he does.

As for the woman, there is a very good chance that she is going to hell, since hell is mostly filled with women. How does it matter if she suffers for the 2 seconds of earth time?

[Barfee]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

excuse me? women is filled with hell?

[Orpheus]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

@aishaA

As for the woman, there is a very good chance that she is going to hell, since hell is mostly filled with women. How does it matter if she suffers for the 2 seconds of earth time?

...don't speak on what you hold no knowledge upon.

[Aalhan]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

There comes a time when you have to think about you only.
This is the point where all of a woman's energies, patience,
love, compassion, societal pressure and everything else has
run out. True divorce is not liked in Islam, but it is there for
a reason. The mullah brigade mentality of twisting every
Islamic concept is the propoganda behind women going to
hell. I seriously question if women will go to hell should they
allow to have the living daylights beaten out of them
(emotionally or physically)only because otherwise hell is
waiting for them. Please provide me the written scripture of this.

I think from day one of the marriage, every woman's self-esteem
should be in its place. The point of marriage should not be to
loose one's self in it but to come out it of it a better/stronger/more
content person. It's about creating a happy life in a positive
world. Nothing less than that.

[aishaA]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

Barfee and Orpheus, your lack of knowledge really distresses me. :( Please visit the religion forum for more information.

[Orpheus]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

aisha, dont believe everything you read on GS, 90% of what people post here is open to interpretation, as generally people state their opinion rather than fact.

[aishaA]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

oy! you won’t get sarcasm even it on your head!

[Sara516]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

^ Haha u scared me for a minute !! :p

[MYwish]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

I am all for divorce, afterall what better way can there be to get one's pick of husbands already trained to be obedient by other women . Saves time .

[Sara516]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

^ if they were so obedient then why r they divorced?

[shweetdreamz]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

they key to avoid divorce is...marriage between older woman and younger man....both at sexual peak. :) khushhaal gharana.

[dope]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

@shweetdreamz

they key to avoid divorce is...marriage between older woman and younger man....both at sexual peak. :) khushhaal gharana.

One tiny problem. Society teaches us that women are like flowers: intense short-term burst of beauty followed by gradual process of wilting. We men like them when they have just blossomed.

Here is a fact for you. Unpalatable, but true. Most men, regardless of age, are sexually attracted to women belonging to this age bracket: 17 - 25.

[shweetdreamz]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

^^ most but not all. its all a matter of knowing what u truly want.

im not gonna deny im attracted to older men :)

[KARAKUSH]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

[QUOTE]
its all a matter of knowing what u truly want.
[/QUOTE]

yeah. but dope is correct too

[shweetdreamz]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

@KARAKUSH

yeah. but dope is correct too

he/she is....true gems are a rarity

[KARAKUSH]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

@shweetdreamz

he/she is…true gems are a rarity

[SolarOceans]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

@aishaA

It is not Islamically allowed that a man mistreat his wife. If he does mistreat her, he isn’t a proper Muslim and hence we don’t care about what he does.

As for the woman, there is a very good chance that she is going to hell, since hell is mostly filled with women. How does it matter if she suffers for the 2 seconds of earth time?

Ayesha, many in the religion forum would be proud of that answer.

I am tickled.

[Muzna]

Re: No, you must not get divorced!

@Sadiyah

I fail to understand why divorce is such a taboo in desi culture. Either it is me whose logic and understanding is flawed or of desis in general.

Yes, I understand divorce is something that is to be use as a last resort and not something to be played around with. However, why should one be forced into a bad marriage, especially women.

Divorce is taboo mainly because we stem from a culture where women were not educated. If education was equally distributed we would likely not face this problem.

Nobody should be forced into a marriage or forced to remain in a bad one.

@Sadiyah

I see so many women mistreated right by their husbands, but still live with them as if it’s no big deal. They don’t get the respect and love they deserve. Often they are verbally and emotionally abused, but they seem to be okay with it. I wonder if they sad and depressed.

They are both sad and depressed. They are often lacking in self-esteem and therefore fail to even realize that they are depressed.

@Sadiyah

What does one get out of such marriage where there really is no love and compassion other than knowing that they have a husband to live with (culturally mard ka hona bohat zaroori hai otherwise desi people will treat you like crap)?

I feel many would be better off themselves or with someone else rather than who they are currently with. I can’t help, but feel bad for such marriages.

One gets nothing positive out of such a marriage. In fact, if there are children then you are likely causing more harm than good to their lives and mindsets.

@Sadiyah

I find it sad the way desis are so against divorces, but all up for bad marriages.

Tell me about it! And what’s even more ridiculous is that they will console you by saying that you will be rewarded for your suffering in the afterlife.