Guys, I don’t think that Cricketplaya has the intention to offend anyone. In a way, he’s right. Islam stresses simplicity. I think even the Pakistani government, at one point in time, had issued a law curbing wedding expenses.
There are stories of people who put themselves under a huge financial strain to arrange a wedding …(buying things that may not be so neccessary such as ice sculptures, for example). Unfotunately, jealousy and insecurity are a part of human nature. Example: One over-the-top lavish or extravagant wedding takes place in a family…and then then some (not ALL) aunties/uncles/cousins may feel the need to put out an equally good spread when their turn comes to arrange a wedding (though it may not be within their budget).
Reminds me of that one scene in the movie, Bend It Like Beckham, where the mother starts planning a wide menu and says, “We’ll show them (the in-laws) that we’re not cheap people.” And many times in desi families, competition takes place not only between cousins/khalas/phoopos/tayas, etc…but also between the prospective in-laws (where both sides try to show that they’re well off and can afford things).
******************** I’m not saying that ALL desis or ALL desi families are like that. There are people who are confident and don’t feel the need to impress others. There are examples of couples who compromise on the wedding budget. But at the same time there are others who become insecure and competitive at the sight of another person’s grandeur.
******************THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is that people (especially some Desi Aunties) need to understand that even if they are feeling jealous/bitter…they can…AT LEAST…make the effort to keep their negative comments to themselves. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it. Silence would be better. I mean, WE ALL, have been in situations in the family, at schoo, in the workplace…where we have to interact with someone that we don’t like…but we still manage to control our tongues and try to put a polite front. People have the right to celebrate their weddings (simple or grand) however they want, that can’t be controlled. You can however try to control your tongue.
I attended my cousin’s wedding several years ago. The girl looks like supermodel, but her attitude is not the greatest. Has treated me like dirt several times throughout the years(sometimes even in public), and doesn’t care to apolgoize. She even behaved rudely during her engagement/wedding…BUT…still I acted like the bigger person. My family and I showed her sensitivity and understanding when she didn’t deserve it. At that point I had lost all respect for her, but still found it within me to SINCERELY compliment her looks/wedding clothes and spend some time with her. You don’t have to love or even like the bride in order to be tactful.