Lack of trust issues can turn anyone (male or female) off. The girl needs to understand that the guy can't lock himself at home from the outside world and nor can he walk around with his eyes closed. He will come across women in the work place. And he might have to collaborate with female colleagues in group projects. These scenarios don't necessarily mean that he will develop romantic feelings toward these women. There needs to be trust. And it's unfair of her to demand that he stop hanging out with his friends. His friends were in his life before she ever entered. Married couples need to maintain friendships outside of each other. The KEY here is BALANCE and not to be on extreme or the other. Preventing friendships reeks of insecurity and that can be a huge turn off.
NOW....moving on to the GUY! Is he not aware of desi culture? Does he not know about the huge SOCIAL STIGMA attached to divorce? You said that this guy doesn't like to compromise. Okay, so that indicates he is stubborn. So, if he's stubborn........then why was he not strong enough to stand up to his parents and tell them that he wasn't going through with this rishta? That was pretty spineless. And now it's selfish of him to only think of how he is being affected and not consider how this will have a greater impact on his wife.
Alvena, based on the little information that you've provided us with, it seems to me that **BOTH **of them are doing or not doing things that are hurting their relationship. So here are some suggestions to reflect over:
1) Marriage is a HUGE adjustment for both parties and it's unreasonable to expect that things will be sailing smoothly from day 1. Plus, in an arranged marriage, where two people don't know each other, there will obviously be some awkwardness. So.......if they haven't been married for too long.......they both need to understand that adjustment and comfort take time to develop. And it's too soon to throw in the towel.
2) Do you know the girl? If you did, then you might be able to give her some suggestions. The guy needs to reflect over what it is about the girl's behavior that is turning him off. If she's being too controlling........then he needs to calmly discuss this concern with her. He can hang out with friend.........but make it up to her by taking her out the following day. He doesn't have to forget about his needs. He needs to learn that he can do what he wants with some compromising and consoling so that she doesn't feel rejected.
3) The guy is not being specific when he says that he doesn't feel anything for her at all. What is he EXPECTING to feel? What does he want to feel? Is it passion, arousal, interest, humor, affection, curiosity, WHAT? He needs to understand that you can't be in a constant mood all the time. One week you might be content, the next week you might be sad. Similarly a marriage can't always be happy and romantic. This guy needs to figure out what exactly his expectations are and he needs to keep them REALISTIC!
4) Is he making the effort to reciprocate in the marriage? Is making the effort to talk to her, spend time with her, go out with her? Perhaps the two of them are stuck in a boring routine. Perhaps they should take a vacation. Or go out places. Surprise each other with kind romantic gestures. Try involving each other in their lives/interests.
5) If the girl is breathing down his neck, she needs to loosen up. She needs to be more confident and trust him. She needs to give him a chance to MISS her a bit (some light playing-hard-to-get). They **both **need to work on compromising and patience. If the guy is still frustrated, then consider advising him with Islamic references or perhaps refer him to an Imam. Or perhaps he should seek advice from his married friends.
That's the best I can come up with. Can't think of anything else to add. Best wishes. :)
Redvelvet you have way too much free time.:) just kidding!
