oh and yes, i would not recommend to wait for long time i.e. above 1 yr. Coz kids makes your relationship strong and going. If they are not there and you kept delaying it, it might backfire n effect your relationship negatively. one of you can get bored of other, lose interest in each other etc. so better not to delay it.
also if i am not wrong, medically its wrong too. I have seen a colleague of mine, she n her hubby didnt want kids for first 2-3 yrs of marriage. Later when they wanted it, she could not conceive, and have not concieved to date. its been above 8yrs of their marriage and they are without kids.
bcoz Allah has to give u the child, itz not something in our hands...who knows that after a year or 2 (as many of guppans have mentiond this time) when u r prepared for the child (though i dun get this preparation thing), u get to know that there are sum medical problems or something like that, i mean itz not something u plan , itz planned by Allah..
and then understanding each other or inlaws, u need time bla bla ..i think u cant understand ur husband or ur inlaws even if u spend the whole life with them...
I agree with above ! because many a times a woman conceive despite having all odds & some woman do not conceive despite having everything in their favour. A child brings his/her own naseeb and he/she cannot come into this world without the will of Allah. Date & time of birth & death along with many other things are decided by Allah and are simply not in our hands.
but i just want to add something in your last para ......it's not about understanding your inlaws and husband you understand them or dont that doesn't matter , its about they understanding you. during pregnancy a woman needs support , only who have been thru it knows how bad it can get at times and if ur inlaws & husband doesn't support thing can become very hard . so it's about ur husband & inlaws understanding you. a bahu is a like a ball in their court they may kick her and throw her away anywhere and anyway they want.
It's generally a good idea to wait for 1-2 years after the marriage. There are some factors however to consider - mutual understanding, maturity, financial stability, and age to be a few.
Mutual understanding is an important factor and this understanding will only come once two individuals spend quality time together. You never know there can be some irreconcilable difference so it's better to find those out before planning to have any children.
One should be mature enough to have and raise children. The maturity has nothing to do with age. One can be mature enough at 20 and one may not be mature even at the age 30. Maturity certainly helps to have better understanding and tolerance.
Financial stability is also a very important factor. Once you have children then it becomes a bit difficult to relocate or try out different ventures. We all want to provide the best to our children and hence we should have a somewhat solid start before having children.
Now age is also a matter of fact we can't ignore. The older the woman, the more difficult to conceive. Also a couple want to be around their children when they are growing up. If a man is 50 when they decide to have a child, imagine the probability of him seeing the child to grow at age 20 or so. It's our responsibility to provide financial and parental care for our children so we must plan to the extent we have control on things. God knows the best what can happen and when but at least we can plan.
As a guideline, if a couple is between 20-25, they can easily wait 3+ years before having a child. If they are between 25-30 I think they can still wait 2 years. If they get married once they are 30+, they should wait at least a year.
Again, it all depends on one's situation and people can decide to the best of their own circumstances.
app nai to pura thesis hi likh dia hai.lol.nice though
I agree with above ! because many a times a woman conceive despite having all odds & some woman do not conceive despite having everything in their favour. A child brings his/her own naseeb and he/she cannot come into this world without the will of Allah. Date & time of birth & death along with many other things are decided by Allah and are simply not in our hands.
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but i just want to add something in your last para ......it's not about understanding your inlaws and husband you understand them or dont that doesn't matter , its about they understanding you. during pregnancy a woman needs support , only who have been thru it knows how bad it can get at times and if ur inlaws & husband doesn't support thing can become very hard . so it's about ur husband & inlaws understanding you. a bahu is a like a ball in their court they may kick her and throw her away anywhere and anyway they want**.
what if they dun support u and they are not being nice to u, u wont plan a baby and wait for their support???ofcourse not..infact many a times things get better with inlaws and with hubby with the birth of child...
^ yes if they are not supportive and you are planning a baby then be prepared for everything. You can end up becoming sole provider of your child. I can tell you one thing with full confidence those who don't have empathy will never gain it even after the birth of their child. Being pregnant is not easy & raising a child on your own is not simple. After all you owe a decent upbringing & a happy & peaceful environment to your child.
I completely respect your views , you have the right to have your opinion as a much as everyone else . the above are just my opinions.
^ yes if they are not supportive and you are planning a baby then be prepared for everything. You can end up becoming sole provider of your child. I can tell you one thing with full confidence those who don't have empathy will never gain it even after the birth of their child. Being pregnant is not easy & raising a child on your own is not simple. After all you owe a decent upbringing & a happy & peaceful environment to your child.
I completely respect your views , you have the right to have your opinion as a much as everyone else . the above are just my opinions.
Totally agree.. also altho everything is down to Allah's will we should employ a bit of common-sense, ppl shouldn't be stumbling into situations blindly with the attitude that everything will just be ok.. With that logic we may as well not bother going to hospitals when we get ill or take any medicines or instead of going to work just sit at home all day waiting for Allah to drop gold coins from the sky..
