No children for a while After Marriage

Good or bad?

How long should couple wait?

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

However long they want.
.

Yes, but there are couples who may disagree with each other or other family members may pressure them too.

Example:
One couple I know, had one son, then husband said, we should wait, then he said we are Ok with just one. She did not want to agree but then agreed to wait.

Few years later, when the son became over five, they decided to have a child.

To date they have no second child (boy is over 9 years old now), even though now husband wants to have another especially when he saw his siblings have multiple kids.

Adoption is not they want unless it is family child, but family members obviously not wanting to give them their child.

She cannot conceive for unknown reasons.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

Depends on their circumstances and wishes

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

Well, they say earlier is better, if that is the only thing you are concerned with. They can try to figure out why they haven't been able to conceive again, see their gyn.

Ultimately, it comes down to the couple. They are the ones who have to live the life, not the family around. Even if they are making the decision because of the pressure, it is THEM who makes the decision.

It is best to make informed decisions. So, visit your gyn even if you are thinking of waiting, get your facts straight about the probability of various things happening.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

Personally I think its better to wait 1-2 years. The couple should enjoy some time in each other's company, travel, basically just have a romantic and relatively carefree beginning of their married life. After that sure, kids are God's gift.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

^ I agree snowy winter....

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

from my personal experience i can strongly advise to wait for 6 months to a year . Why ? because sometimes the husband and in-laws are so stupid that they fail to realise what the bahu must be going thru her pregnancy. They keep on taunting lazy hai , kaam sey bhagti hai etc etc whereas the reality may be that she is not lazy nor she is running away from work she is just not feeling well enough to do these chores. Plus , the husband and wife should spend some quality time together first , make some common objectives in life , plan a baby then have a baby. baby is a big responsibility , you are bringing a soul into this world , its not 1 or 2 days thing it's a matter of whole life time and both of them should better have all the guts & means to take care of the little one esp the husband.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

I think the couple shud wait from 6 months to a year to have a baby. A kid is a big responsibilty which requires your full attention and time, this way the couple cant spend time together the way they should. You marry once then why not enjoy it and have fun without any other responsibility and person to tend to. Hope my better half shares the same views :)

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

I say 4-5 years! But it all depends on the couples relationship background. Like for us, we can't get married for another four/five years, because of our education/parents, so when iA' we do get married, kids will be such a kabab mein haddi.

There is no right or wrong answer as to how long a couple should wait before trying for children, but one should take into consideration the factor that a woman's biological clock is ticking, so to avoid any possible issues further down the line, it's recommended to have children as early as possible.

Having said that, i put off having children for almost a decade.

I would strongly advice waiting alteast a year before you start.. I got pregnant few weeks after my wedding and alhumdulliah am blessed with a beautiful daughter.. but I was always tired and nauseated so felt like I did not enjoy the first few months of my marriage at all.. i couldn't go to places much because i was afraid ill throw up etc.. so i thnk it's a wise decesion to wait and get to know each other!

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

i just got married … we really would like to have kids … but we want to wait 3 years. and this number is in respect to our circumstances etc … everybody has their own circumstances …
my mom told me to wait not shorter than 2 years and not longer than 2 years either :rotfl:
my uncle advised to go for it immediately cuz if you delay, then Allah mian gets naraz that you’re “disrupting His natural way of life” … and the you might have problems conceiving later when you want to … though i thought this was a bit far-fetched, and i had to roll my eyes … secretly … but with your story how that women is not being able to conceive is a bit scary !!

kids kakab mein haddi...:D

But 4-5 or a decade may be too long, considering average age for marriage is now more than in the past.

The couple has to think of other child and gap too.

The example I gave has woman in late 30's and husband is in early 40's. Medically they have not been found to have problem, but still no second child.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

I'd say I'd want to wait 2 years MIN. (Obviously this may change as BOTH of us would have to decide) but I'd rather 2 years min, would give us some 'alone' time.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

Wait until you are ready to have them. On the other hand, they say you're never really ready to have a child. It just happens.

Sometimes having a child isnt the best thing for the couple. I would say try your best to wait a year and then start popping out the little ones.

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

I say until your financially stable, Mentally stable (as in your prepared to look after a child) Then go ahead.
Ignore what families say. My mum waited 5 years Until what i said above was stable.

^ My mum waited a similar amount of time (think it might have even been a little longer) till she had her first as well which was quite unusual in desi families back then..

I'd rather wait a bit as well, prob not as long as she did but I'd love to 'settle' a bit first if possible..

Re: No children for a while After Marriage

Like everyone said it varies, so depends on the couple. I would recommend to wait at least a year after marriage just to get adjusted to each other and married life before introducing kids into the equation. However do not wait too long for the right time/right finances....who knows when it will be "right".

Yeah it makes sense, It was my dads choice and everyone was always on her back. But i would do the same too if im not settled after marriage, No point struggling aswell as having a baby.
But maximum i would wait is 3 years even if i was settled. :)
But like someone else said you cant really plan these things tbh.