No boxed gifts please

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
621

Re: No boxed gifts please

:D

622

Re: No boxed gifts please

What are you trying to get at? lol. Obviously I don’t want anyone to be offended AT ALL for any reason. And I never said I’m going to request them to give me cash…let’s not put words in my mouth now. I explained why the ‘no boxed gifts’ concept is used among desis at desi weddings and my thoughts on it.

I still don’t think setting up a registry, getting cash, a honeyfund, etc. should be offensive to anyone. Ppl want to know what you want and are getting you gifts anyway even if you tell them not to. Sheesh. I can see how writing ‘no boxed gifts please’ is a huge issue to some, but I still don’t think it’s that big of a deal b/c it’s gotten quite common at least where I live and I’ve never heard of anyone complain about it. I guess my family, friends, and family friend are just cool like that. :wink: I’ve already explained why I feel this way in previous posts in lots of words so I’m not going to repeat myself. To each his own. You are entitled to your opinion and I’m entitled to mine. Now let’s screw the gifts and just move on, lol.

623

Re: No boxed gifts please

Ah, just thought of a great idea. We want to have a poll on our wedding websites with fun questions...one of them can be asking people how they feel about the 'no boxed gifts' and whether or not it's offensive...it'll be interesting to see results and if I'm proved wrong then I will humbly accept. I'll share the results here when we do it...

624

Re: No boxed gifts please

I actually am for the No Boxed Gifts things too.

I have always given cash on weddings...I don't find anything wrong with it. Having been newly married at one point, I remember how difficult those early days were and that money helped a lot. I know how expensive weddings are for families since my parents have paid for so many now. I am all for the cash gift.

The wording SHOULD be polite but there is nothing wrong with making sure the gift you get is actually of some use versus a dozen of the same toasters.

I DID have people give smaller amounts...but that was not a big deal to me. In the end, I had enough to help with our move in expenses which were a lot at the time.

I also had people give presents BUT those presents weren't practical for us and never got used. I had tiny cupboards in my apartment and for presents I got huge bowls that wouldn't fit anywhere. Its not to say they were less appreciated, I thanked everyone and never thought less of anyone.

If I give something, I want to know the couple found it useful. I want my gift to matter in a practical way. I don't want to give something that will sit in storage forever. This is my gift and I want it to make someone happy. If its money, so be it.

625

Re: No boxed gifts please

Weddings - HOW ABOUT I JUST GOT A ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY INVITE with no gift boxes on it.
Gag me!!

626

Re: No boxed gifts please

No, really?!?! I've been to a birthday party where the parents took their kid to Toys 'r Us and had him complete a gift registry which was tacky to the nth degree!!! But to ask for cash for a kid's birthday - that's just wrong!!!!

627

Re: No boxed gifts please

I kid you not!!!

Am not letting them get off taking thier kid's present either. I'm getting him a gift card from Toys R Us
and the girl who did this - is uber loud about being 'rich'

628

Re: No boxed gifts please

As much as I hate seeing the boxes gift note on wedding cards, THIS just takes the cake..ouuuff :smack:

629

Re: No boxed gifts please

^ Agree! We always give cash at wedding anyways, but I still hate seeing the no boxed gifts note written on an invite

630

Re: No boxed gifts please

So its the concept of basically specifying you would like to receive cash instead of things for presents that is offensive to some?

Or is it the wording of "No Boxed Gifts"

I honestly don't find it to be that big of a deal. You're getting them a gift anyway, so why not just do it this way?

631

Re: No boxed gifts please

Almost all the wedding invitations that my family gets these days have the words 'No boxed gifts please' written on them. I don't see the big deal, I mean where is the couple meant to put all this stuff?? And it's even worse if the couple get something which they don't like, even if another couple would like that gift. Everyone has different tastes.

I can vaguely remember the first wedding invitation with these words, and there was shock and horror at it, but now it's become a norm. I'm going to get the words printed on my wedding invitations, like it or not. If someone did turn up with a gift, I wouldn't refuse the gift because it would be embarrassing for the person.

632

Re: No boxed gifts please

We wrote on our wedding invites...

'Your dua is the only gift requested' or something like that I cant remember I need to look at the cards again.

633

Re: No boxed gifts please

I can totally get behind this. Here the implication is, the company and well wishes from the guests is welcomed by the bride and groom and anything above and beyond this is appreciated as opposed to specifying that a gift in a box is unwelcome.

This is the difference between tasteful and tacky and creating a obligation versus welcoming a gift.

634

Re: No boxed gifts please

weddings, bdays, aqiqas, or eid.... doesnt matter whereever u place it... bottom line is that you are reminding ppl that u are expecting something from them!........ they can just be bringing a cake or box of meethai.

635

Re: No boxed gifts please

Maybe its a matter of perspective. I think its useful when I get a registry card or an idea as to what the couple would like. Its less guess-work for me and makes a great gift. I don't really consider it to be a demand...just a preference.

I think its annoying to have to figure out what to give people who I might not know that well.

And yeah, the wording might get prettier if you put it differently but that does NOT take the burden off of the guests to bring something. You are going to someone's wedding. You are NOT going to walk in empty handed no matter how nicely people say they would only like your dua's. Dressing something up does not make it something different. The idea is still the same...a gift IS required.

My question is...if its cash...what's the big deal?

If you're a guest at someone's wedding and you genuinely care for the couple...why would anyone even mind? Why would anyone not want to give them something they really need? Its their day, let them have it. If they want to dance around in pink tutu's and take pictures with a live monkey, who is anyone else to stop them?

When its other peoples' money..."its their day, let them do what they want" but when it comes to a gift for the people whose wedding is being attended...they have to pay for the food, pay for the decor, music, etc all so they AND YOU can have a great time at their wedding. And in the end "I want to give what I want to give and no one can tell me otherwise".

No offense but I think that's rude quite honestly.

636

Re: No boxed gifts please

^ but as a guest who genuinely cares, you wouldn't be bringing a re-gift anyway, and from what has been said here, a big reason for putting "no boxed gifts" on an invite is to ensure you don't get re-gifts and other things you don't want/need/like. so if you cared for the couple, then you'd bring something thoughtful and considerate whether you consider that to be $200 for their new home or a pair of crystal candlesticks. so how can the couple turn around and tell you sorry, if you bring a boxed gift, you're not welcome?
(sorry if this isn't worded well, but you get my point, right?)

637

Re: No boxed gifts please

Weddings -- especially in Canada -- are crazy expensive! The wedding business is booming and the prices of everything from photographers to videographers and decor are sky-rocketing :S It's insane.

To put it quite bluntly -- almost everyone I know is VERY used to seeing "no boxed gifts" please, and they all seem to understand why -- paying off a wedding is no joke. You can give your duas to the couple, but really, who comes to a wedding empty-handed? Especially in the Pakistani community. You can think up of all the fancy ways to say it, but like someone above said, if you're worried about what others will think offensive, then don't worry, if they don't find something offensive on your card, they're bound to find something else offensive at your event. Those who mean well will understand.

Although, if you do want to put it in a fancy way, there's no harm in that -- I would definitely support that idea -- but don't bash the others who aren't so fanciful with their words..

638

Re: No boxed gifts please

Sahar02 -- I agree with you. Only because something happens so often, does not mean it's okay.

But you didn't quite understand the point I was trying to make -- People are becoming more open to this idea BECAUSE they understand why it's happening so often. It's not because the bride and groom are selfish, more so it can be attributed to something as simple as: they don't want five toasters or two coffee machines! Or it can be attributed to the high costs of weddings and the amount of guests you have to invite -- point is, it's no longer seen as a bad thing, because Pakistani guests are starting to understand the reasoning behind this request. Perhaps I could have stated it better, thank you for pointing it out :)

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Re: No boxed gifts please

For the record i didn’t write “no boxed gifts” on my card (yes, pat on my back :halo: ) and now three years later i’m glad i didn’t sell my soul to the devil. There’s objects being used around the house that people gave and i remember (she remembers) who gave what i.e. there’s associated memories. I’m no richer or poorer now than i was then and a few hundred dollars wouldn’t have put me up on the stars.

640

Re: No boxed gifts please

As per my 7 year old nephew the only difference is that in desi weddings the bride and groom don't kiss.