well said…
maybe I just come from a very different family where we were taught that on your birthday it is you who should be thankful to Allah for having had another year with your loved ones so you are expected to treat them with a dinner.
even when I was young Ammi used to make me save up and contribute towards the cost of my birthday parties so that I knew that it was my responsibility to give…not expect to receive…many years later I found out that the money I was giving her (and some added by ammi and papa) was sent to my cousin in Karachi who would use a part of it to host a dinner (usually something the poor kids would not often eat like biryani) at the orphanage and a part was donated for their on-going needs. this is a practice that our family continues today.
it goes without saying that the vast majority of people coming to your wedding will bring a gift…chances are it will be something they can afford…be it a small amount of cash or what you may consider a cheap, tacky glassware set…don’t be turning your nose up at it…don’t complain about it.
if you don’t like it…donate it to some charity that will accept items instead of cash…they will thank you profusely and they will find someone that will appreciate it.
if someone comes without a gift…don’t complain about having to pay for their “butt on that seat”…you weren’t holding a theatrical masterpiece for which you needed to charge a ticket fee…or were you?