Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
There is a huge difference in asking for books versus asking for cash. Books have knowledge and learning in them that can help enlighten and brighten a child’s life. Cash just comes across as greedy.
And it’s also about how one does it - make it voluntary as opposed to mandatory.
Here’s the reality - it is not my job (your guest) to pay for “your child’s” education or OTT birthday party or anything else.
It is also not my job to pay for “your” overbudget and lavish wedding or honeymoon or downpayment on your home. If you would like me to celebrate a happy event with you, then by all means invite me, but that old saying:
“insaan ko chaadar dekh ke paon pehlana chahiya”
is appropriate. Do not spend to impress others or more than you can afford. I’ve never been a fan of the 500 person wedding, 200 person birthday party if that is outside of a person’s budget. And personally as a guest or potentially overlooked guest - if I do not get invited to a party because the host needed to limit their guest list due to budgetary constraints, I will not take offense. Rather I appreciate that the host was cognizant of their budget and spent only what they had.