Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
i have actually seen “no boxed gifts or bags, please.” this was for a sibling birthday party ages 6 and 1. I was forced to his them gift card and felt they only wanted cash or gift card. i didn’t like it.
I have also seen something similar to what Reha said… that was much better.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
Well you can take one step further … and write:
“For gifts - We accept VISA and Maestro* if you use credit card a fee of $1.50 will be charged per transaction”
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
for anyone that thinks this is a “western concept” …it’s not…back in desiland you’ll find a rampant history of cash gifts. everybody understood that if you were going to bring a gift then you were going to bring an envelope stuffed with cash…and a person was seated nearby to record the amount and who gave it.
I’ve always been the one to consider the phrase “No Boxed Gifts” as tacky and classless. In my opinion it has no place on any sort of invitation.
If you are celebrating a joyous event in your life then do it within your means and share the occasion with as many as you can afford. Don’t expect to recover the cost of it.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
What a fantastic and very sweet idea! I wouldn’t word it as no boxed gifts though- perhaps something along the lines of “We are raising little readers and we would love it if you would share your favourite storybook with our twins!” And then ask your mom and sister and mil etc. to mention by word of mouth, if asked, that this is in lieu of any other kind of gift.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
a child doesn’t know anything about money and toys are way more exciting to them than a check or cash! but i think gift givers should always include the gift receipt of their gift so the parents can exchange it if the child already has that toy or if its not age appropriate.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
There is a huge difference in asking for books versus asking for cash. Books have knowledge and learning in them that can help enlighten and brighten a child’s life. Cash just comes across as greedy.
And it’s also about how one does it - make it voluntary as opposed to mandatory.
Here’s the reality - it is not my job (your guest) to pay for “your child’s” education or OTT birthday party or anything else.
It is also not my job to pay for “your” overbudget and lavish wedding or honeymoon or downpayment on your home. If you would like me to celebrate a happy event with you, then by all means invite me, but that old saying:
“insaan ko chaadar dekh ke paon pehlana chahiya”
is appropriate. Do not spend to impress others or more than you can afford. I’ve never been a fan of the 500 person wedding, 200 person birthday party if that is outside of a person’s budget. And personally as a guest or potentially overlooked guest - if I do not get invited to a party because the host needed to limit their guest list due to budgetary constraints, I will not take offense. Rather I appreciate that the host was cognizant of their budget and spent only what they had.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
Yes…I’d much rather be overlooked than be expected to pay for an event that was arranged based on what I would give as a gift.
And if I am that close to you then I will drop by with my gift at a convenient time whether or not I was invited to the gala affair…
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
LOVE the idea of asking for books instead!!! I wish it crossed my mind when I was planning my daughters first birthday.
Thanks for the idea <3
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
I could see why a parent might add that to a 5-10 year birthday party invitation (too many toys already, returning toys that they don’t want, duplicate…not-so- nice toys…etc.) but for a 1st birthday…i just don’t see a point.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
If a child has too many toys, then the child mash’Allah doesn’t need anything more, and the parents if they were tasteful, should decline accepting of gifts.
My niece was invited to a birthday party and the parents of the birthday girl felt their children already had too many toys. They asked that the other parents donate school supplies for less fortunate children instead of bringing a gift. In the thank you card to the kids and their parents, they host parents let them know where/how the school supplies were distributed.
The harsh reality is - asking/demanding cash with “no boxed gifts” is stating outright to the guests that their gift is not valued by the host and the host just wants a cash grab. There will never be any excuse in my mind for a host to demand cash as a gift.
I googled “no boxed gifts” and have noticed that it is unique reference on South Asian wedding invitations. Mind you, giving/expecting cash is not unique for South Asians - I know of Europeans who “expect” their guests to pay for their meal at the wedding as part of the wedding gift. In other words, if you get invited to an Italian wedding, you must estimate how much it cost the host to pay for your evening (not just the meal, but the bonbonierres, entertainment, etc.) - pay that amount per person attending and then add a cash amount as the “gift”. People say it costs about $350-500 to attend a wedding for a couple. I’m not cheap, but I find that outrageous to expect one’s guests to pay for their meal.
I seriously question what happened to the good old days when a wedding/birthday party was a celebration and not about what could be earned for the hosts.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
^ this!
and I’ve heard of enough folks turning down invitations to weddings because they “couldn’t afford to go”.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
i completely agree with you, and i dont like or practice this either. I was just stating why some one might add that to a birthday invitation of a older kid…but it just doesn’t make any sense to have it for the first bday.
On the flip side, can someone please tell desi people that giving Mikasa’s fruit platter as gift is not an obligation. You can give other things as gift too. Really you can. I understand that it was on sale during Black Friday and you bought 12 of them, and other 150 families did the same, but I can use only one 
PS. I am recycling and gifting them back to you. 
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
I had an american colleagues who had a wedding and honeymoon registry. Yes, pretty much everyone contributed to the honeymoon and no one found it untasteful. Actually all my american friends/colleagues had wedding registries and quite a few had honeymoon registries as well. However, people should not be expected to give 50/100$ bills.
However, no boxed gift at a child’s b.day sure is very odd.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
na shukray!
if you collect enough of those you can use them as chargers…make for a very elegant place setting.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
Lol..my sister got 5 toaster ovens, 6 blenders, around 8 chip and dips, a quite a few fruit platters and truffle bowls, few years back on her wedding. Oh and everyone knew she was moving to a different state after the wedding.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
wonderful…she could donate to the needy.
^ or recycle them.
Btw have you noticed that there are certain things that you will never buy for yourself, but more useless the product is, higher are the chances that you will get them as a gift.
We have a boxed food dehydratorand and a boxed yogurt maker sitting at home. Why would you buy a food dehydrator and give it to a Pakistani family, why you Mr and Mrs Kaleem, why?.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
In contrast to the “no boxed gifts” bit, in my culture people sometimes get a bit overzealous in the opposite direction. You never ask anything of your guests EVER, which I quite agree with.
It goes further than the gifts bit though. It is viewed as the host’s responsibility and obligation (yes, obligation) to look after their guests. This would mean that if you have invited out of town/out of country guests to your function, it is your responsibility to pay for their travel expenses, accommodation and whatever else they may need during their stay. In addition to hospitality, which is rather important in my culture, the reasoning for this that is that they are YOUR guests and are attending YOUR function at YOUR invitation and therefore, it is your responsibility to look after them. While I agree with this in theory, I’ve seen people take advantage of this rather shamelessly. 
No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
Thanks for all of the responses guys!! My friend read them and feels terribly embarrassed that she even had to put it on the few she did just to keep the peace at home. Honestly, I don’t mind it on wedding invites, to each is their own and everyone has their definition of ‘keeping their izhat’ and how they chose to marry off their children is their prerogative. Very rarely do the bride and groom get a say in how many people get invited and I can understand that but probably wouldn’t attend a 1st birthday party that had this listed, especially if I didn’t know them very well. It’s just bad manners I think and kind of greedy… On the other hand I have rarely seen ‘no gifts please’ either. Only once for a friend who had a 1st birthday and even then she told me she was upset because people made her mom feel bad about that! Saying, that even asking for donations instead felt embarrassing because not only did people not understand and asked 1000 why why whys, but thought it was show off-ey. Honestly, it is so hard to please anyone, and celebrations are just not celebrations anymore!