This posting is for a friend since I really have no clue on what to tell her about how common or not this is since I don’t have children yet. My friends inlaws are forcing her to put ‘No Boxed Gifts’ on her daughters 1st birthday party invitation and she wanted to know how common or uncommon it is since they are insisting everywhere they go, that’s how they see it and did it for their other grandchildren’s birthdays. I personally think that is so inappropriate considering it is a baby’s birthday party and not a wedding at least but she wanted to get opinions since they have been getting mad about not putting it on the invite. She was thinking of ordering two sets of invites one with and one without and sending their friends invites the way they like but has anyone seen else done this? Feels a little cheap to me. :s
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
For a child? Never seen it happen and it sounds tasteless to me. This is not a wedding where you need to recoup the cost somehow or need help in starting your new life.
What I did see once was…“we only request your presence on this wonderful day…if you feel you must give…we’d appreciate a small donation to XYZ masjid in her name”
Loved it. Positively loved it.
When I see ‘no boxed gifts, please’ request in the invitation, I feel like sending back my RSVP with ‘no store brand soda pop at the party, please’ request.
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No boxed gifts is NEVER appropriate - wedding, birthday party or funeral.
The excuse nowadays is “everyone else does it - it’s become acceptable.”. No it’s not. When you invite someone to your house for a daawat you do not charge them the cost of meal, so why then is it appropriate for a wedding or birthday party?
What next, ab kafan dafan ke liyay bhi log kehengay “no boxed gifts” and justifying it as - well we had to recoup the cost of the funeral somehow 
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^Exactly!!!
Personally, I find that “No Boxed Gifts” is tantamount to charging your guests for attending your function and is quite vulgar. If one is that pressed to “recoup” the costs of holding a function, then one is not in the financial position to be holding said function in the first place and should either hold a smaller function (to scale back the costs) or refrain altogether. Insisting that guests contribute to the costs of the function is ghastly and wildly inappropriate.
As far as “oh, it’s a wedding, they need the money to start their new life,” then why not have a smaller wedding and use the money saved for their new life?
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
The topic of no boxed gifts comes up every year on the board and I’m very vocal about my opinion and my opinion does not change - it will never be acceptable IMO.
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It is as tacky and tasteless as it can be on wedding invites.Putting that on a first birthday invite is beyond that,imo.
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Yup, what the posters above have already said.
Truly awful. It gives me the rage.
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I thought no boxed gifts meant, don’t bring any gift thank u! Which I thought was tasteful if sad for baby/bride/whoever the party is for. I never thought it was saying “give us money instead”.
Hasn’t caught up in Pakistan yet.
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
I agree but its become the norm now for us because of western culture…a cash gift is considered an appropriate gift to help the couple out. So in some ways, I do get it.
But on a birthday? And on a 1st birthday on top of that? No way…it sounds like they are literally asking for money for their kid.
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^A guest choosing to give the couple/child/whoever the party is for money as gift is quite fine and entirely appropriate. It is when people *specifically ask *for money that I find it dodgy and inappropriate.
Also, like you stated, the child in this case is only one, making it even more dodgy as first birthday parties are usually more for the parents than for the child themselves.
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1st birthday parties are usually for parents.. They are taking that for its literal meaning 
Seriously
How do her in laws feel about asking to donate to charity instead of a “boxed gift”?
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For a birthday, that is beyond tacky. They can ask a donation be made instead but it is literally like saying we positively wont like anything you will bring as a present so please give us the money so we can buy something fancy ourselves.
Ok I am just being over dramatic but to me that is how outrageously tacky it is to see no boxed gifts for a first birthday party.
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^ well it could be to start savings for the college education/jahez :sid:
it’s beyond tacky…ugh!
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Gifts should never be an expectation from your guests. It’s enough that they are attending your event, be it a birthday or wedding, and if they CHOOSE to gift you something, well, then aren’t you lucky. To not get that but instead to specifically ASK for money because nothing else will be good enough… Ugh. Talk about shameless cash grab! I’m not surprised though given how prevalent it’s become for weddings- I guess birthdays are a natural transition from that.
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My sister suggested a do a “no boxed gifts” for my twins 1st bday, but not for cash. She said ask my close friends to bring a story book instead of a toy to start a little library for the babies. I don’t want anything from anyone, I am happy that Allah has given me the opportunity to plan a 1st bday
Re: No Boxed Gifts for a 1st Birthday?!
Is that what it means? I’d have been positively confused if an invite said that. Yes, cheap indeed.
In the part of India that I come from, it has slowly become the norm to not accept gifts or flowers at weddings at all. It’s beautiful! You don’t have to worry about gifts to other people and vice versa. It all evens out. Only close family will give gifts to the couple, but that is done privately at home so no one is embarrassed at the venue. I’m so proud of my parents and in laws for going with this!
Of course, it’s different for birthdays where the little ones get so much joy from unpacking gifts - I wouldn’t want to deny them that. But parents should really take this opportunity to teach their kids to appreciate the thought and effort behind the gifts, rather than dissing someone for bringing a cheaper gift.
I personally wouldn’t do it until unless I am also making it clear that we are not expecting any type of gifts period but we recently received an invitation to a first birthday party stating “no boxed gifts please” on the Facebook event page. I was a little taken back but figured it could be because they are celebrating at a barn like place (pony theme) everything outdoors so maybe they don’t want the boxed gifts to get messy? Too much hassle hauling them to the car? I don’t know.
I don’t mind it. To each their own. Yeah I wouldn’t pay or spend extra just cause I am expected to give a monetary gift. If I was planning to spend 45 to 50 bucks on a gift from Toys R Us including tax & gift wrapping then I am just going to put that in a gift card from Toys R Us. If it was some child who was meant to receive a toy worth 25 to 30 bucks (usually my child’s school friends birthday invites) I would just give a gift card or cash with the same amount. No shame in that.
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Put the gift in a shopping bag
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ditto!!
my cousin and his wife just sent out invited for their 6yr old daughter’s Ameen/Khatam e Quran and in bold letters at the bottom it says “No Boxed Gifts”…not even a please 
I’m going to take the biggest, tallest, largest wrapped gift I can find