no backbone?

[diamond321]

Re: no backbone?

@GlossBlushLiner

Ok so results are in… i did my istikhara… and the results I believe give a positive indication (though i will do another one just to be sure) I saw him feeding me mithai… what do I make of that?

So, he has been talking to my friend, who has outlined to him where he went wrong! He admits it and takes full responsibility. He says I should give him another chance and trial it until mid next year. he doesnt want his family nor my family to know about it until I am satisfied that he has fulfilled all of the criteria / promises and I agree to marrying him. And before he marries me, he says he will have bought his own house and have a job. He wants to prove that he can be independant. one thing I must add here is that he is not a resident of UK, he comes and goes frequently. He was born and brought up in hongkong, they have family business there (importing and exporting) so he left education early and got involved in the family business. Since my sister got married ( 7 years ago) my BIL moved to UK and started his business of import and export here and left his younger brother in Hongkong to look after the business there. As both of the brothers have worked on the business, they both have equal share of it, though the older one has more financial control of it.

Now, this guy is promising me that he is going back to hongkong next week, he will sell his apartments there and buy a house here. He says he needs some time to understand the UK market before he can start a business here, so he is spending time with his older brother who has been here for much longer than him, to learn from him, therefore although he doesnt have a job here right now, he is planning something for long run.

Part of me thinks, I should trial it. He is going back to hongkong next week and will be there for a few months, away from his brother and my sister. lets see if he delivers? I am keeping my options open. So no obligations, no strings attached etc. If he delivers then I could consider him, if not then I know that i gave him a chance and he blew it so its over!

As for the ground rules, what do you think these should be?

Hmmmm Gloss since you have already made up your mind I will not give you any further advise. But the thing that comes to my mind right now is that why is he willing to do all these things for you (I mean all of a sudden)…why did not he think of these things before when you agreed to married him instead at that time he resorted to control you , to pressurise you to quit your job , prevented you from seeing your friends etc and allowed his brother to make fun of you , humiliate you and insult you. What I don’t understand is the sudden transformation …he is behaving completely opposite with you now as compared to how he behaved with you then ! Where did the bad guy in him go and when he and his bro all those things with you where was this current good guy in him hiding ?

think!